It should have been me

That’s what I think when I see him

With her

His smile and laugh

His hand wrapped in hers

I really tried

I talked to you

Or I tried to

I thought what I did was nocited

Everytime you smile

I cry because it’s never been for me

It’s such a perfect smile

A smile that fills me with hope

But it’s never been for me

I used to think it would

I’d imagine everything about you

Your laugh would echo with mine

Your perfect eyes would always watch mine

Even your lips

Yeah I dreamed of those to

I wanted to know what it would feel like

Ever since that day

When you made me realize

What it was I wanted in life

I wanted romance

Love and even heart break

I wanted to smile at the thought of you

But more than anything

I wanted you to want me too

Is it selfish?

To want to be wanted?

Or is it more selfish

To blame him for losing

For losing me

I’m not gone

Not yet

But every day I see his messages

His words and his name

I wonder are you really interested in me

Or are you just being who you are

The nicest most beautiful person ever

I’ve told you things

And just last week

You told me something

But everytime this happens

When I feel us connecting

I start looking

Over the fence

Over the roofs of houses

Over the small trees and people

I start seeing us walking down the street

Hand in hand

Laughing and smiling

I see you stop and lean down

To me

I see us together

And it’s perfect

And then it all fades away

All because I looked into the future

Because I wanted it to be that way

So I’ve learned

That I’m never going to look again

If we’re meant to be

Friends or more

Then it will be your eyes that stray

Over the hill

To mine