dear diary,

today was a good day I guess

not the worst that it could’ve been

definitely could’ve been better

met a few famous people

well, didn’t meet them meet them

but saw them

took pictures and videos of them

that I’m never gonna look at again anyways

posted a couple on my snap story-

not like anyone I know’s even heard of them

some random insignificant golfers

cried some

crying right now, lol

I don’t know why

well I do

but not really

it’s all kind of blurring together now

they fight, then we argue

we make up but they’re fighting again

about insignificant little things

this and that

it just makes me cry

always has

but it feels worse now

maybe it is worse

maybe I’m just weaker

I don’t know how much longer

I can hold it together

I act like I’m fine,

but I don’t even know what that means anymore

I put on a smile all day

but beneath the surface,

I’m either sad or mad

or I’m bored

or I’m thinking about him

but then that makes me sad, too

even though he makes me happy

I think

or maybe I just make that up in my mind

so I can pretend that I’m okay

just for a second

or maybe he really does make me happy

and I really am okay

just for that one insignificant second

who knows?

who cares?

I want this summer to end

it’s boring

and when it’s not boring it only makes me cry