To be honest, I have no regrets. I followed my dream and I failed. It hurts, sure. But I’m just holding onto the memories I made. I’ll never forget Bongo and his balancing act. He could balance 6 pins on his head stacked. Or Honk Honk and her multi colored coat and impeccable makeup. Or even little Mousey, he wasn’t tall… but he would tower over you on his stilts. Such a wonderful friend. I hope they’ll stay in touch even though I flunked out of clown college.

Bozo University Online is the most prestigious of all clown colleges, and I felt so lucky to get in. I was a shoe in when I wrote my incredible Senior Project on Whoopie Cushions, it really impressed the alumni. But even though I was succeeding in my major, unicycle puppetry, I just couldn’t pull it together in my prerequisites. Namely balloon sculpture. My giraffes looked too much like dogs, and Dean Doink had to expel me.

It’s hard, but I’m really trying to see the positives and keep my head on straight. I’m holding onto hope. When one tiny clown car door closes, a regular sized one opens.