I’ve created a monster,

And now I can’t stop her,

I shouldn’t have fought her,

I’d created the monster.

I just let her abuse me,

And completely fucking use me,

I thought she loved me truly,

Never thought she’d undo me.

Family’s not supposed to leave you,

Even if they don’t need you,

And they shouldn’t be cruel,

They should know what to do.

I never had a sister,

Until I met her.

But then 18 years later,

She’s gone now though and i just hope she’s safer.

But now that she’s gone,

I cannot carry on.

The whole thing feels so wrong

She was where I felt belonged.

Now that I know not to love anyone

I will not be hurt no matter what’s done.

The battle of love just cannot be won,

Almost as dumb as declaring war on drugs.

If it weren’t for the pills

I wouldn’t be here still,

The drugs keep me from falling off of life’s gigantic hill,

And every time I see doctor it’s a thrill.

Without the drugs I’d never move,

I’d hide forever even from you,

My life would never just improve,

I need to fucking just self soothe.

Everything I do is work,

From breathing, eating, sleeping, tryna twerk,

But disability is not a perk,

Especially when your mind and body are equal levels of hurt.

A monster was made,

When I showed up so late,

I can’t push her away,

So I guess she will stay.

The monster will finally go when I do,

So I hope that my autopsy goes smooth,

Cause I need them to know that it’s nothing I’d choose,

And if I could I would never have taken the abuse.

But now I’m with a monster,

And people don’t want her,

I try to keep a lock on her,

But it isn’t a shocker.

The monster will decide

What to show or to hide,

Until lie after lie,

Blows its alibi.