The Girl In The Window

Crime, mystery & thriller

Action & adventure

She was someone beautiful to see while walking by! She never seemed to be looking out the window but just in the window staring at a book or writing or listening to music, the window is where she felt free. Her hair was long, way passed her hips, she danced sometimes and I like watching her, hope that didn’t make me creepy but I couldn’t help myself. She had a way about her that intrigued me! I walked by her window every day just to see what new thing she'd be doing in her window. She is an innocent soul, I wished I could just get her to look at me from that window. She had a subtle smile, wondering what goes thru her mind. One day after four months of walking by, I sang a tune she had been listening to often and The girl In the window noticed me. She gave me a wink and a smile, so now I walk on by with a wave, while she smiles. Maybe one day I'll get her name and we can converse properly. But for now, I'll just wave to the girl in the window, she's as beautiful as can be and a mystery to me.

Comments 3

Ryan Lindsey

2 years ago

One possible way to improve the beginning of the story could be to introduce the main character and their fascination with the girl in the window earlier on. This could create a stronger connection between the reader and the main character, making them more interested in what happens next.

For example, the beginning could be something like: "I first saw her while walking to work one morning. She was standing in the window of the building across the street, completely absorbed in a book. I was immediately drawn to her. Her long hair cascaded over her shoulders, and every now and then she would absentmindedly sway to the music she was listening to. I found myself walking by her window every day, just to catch a glimpse of her. But she never noticed me."

As for the ending, one possible way to improve it could be to add more detail and tension to the moment when the girl in the window finally notices the main character. This could make the ending feel more satisfying and exciting for the reader.

For example, the ending could be something like: "I took a deep breath and began to sing the song I knew she loved. At first, she didn't notice me. But as the song grew louder, she looked up from her book and met my eyes. I felt a surge of excitement as I saw her give me a wink and a smile. From that day on, we waved to each other every time I walked by her window. And one day, I finally gathered the courage to knock on her door and ask her name. She told me it was Lily, and we ended up talking for hours. The girl in the window was no longer just a mystery to me – she was a friend."

Ericka W

Passion For writing and Fashion. Always reading. Single mother but it never apprehended me from my dreams or goals.