There’s something inside me

I can feel it travelling down

My oesophagus, my throat.

The idea of something

From outside my body

Choking me from the inside

Just. I want to cough it up

Cough it out. Into the toilet

At 12:00 am. Night.

I can feel it settle. Stomach bug.

Hopefully hydrochloric acid burns it away

The grease, the shame

Or have it leave the way it came

There's something in my body

It's making me sick

Yet I'm always being sick

And it won't leave

And I'll try to claw it out

And If it travels through my blood

I will let it run

On the cold bathroom tiles

Or into the same toilet drain

There is something in me.

I can bleed and I can spit

And I can grind my teeth

But I'll never be able to scrub my body clean

I'll never be able to peel off my skin

Throw it in the wash

Medium low. 2 hours. Tumble dry.

There's something inside me

It leaves a stain on my organs

Claw marks on my small intestine

Seeping into the blood

That reaches my heart

And is breathed out my lungs

Infecting the air around me

Can you see it too?

Can you feel it crawling under my skin?

I see it when I look in the mirror

I see it on every plate of food

I want to be clean