I often try to put gaps between my words that I write about you

I try to not show an overwhelming amount of my grief

Because honestly

There’s a tunnel of Grief inside me that goes far too deep

When I don’t want to share you with the world

Keep you for myself

I share about my other struggles

Which is okay

Those are important too

But then the need to share my grief

My need to share you

Becomes far too much

Far too in my face

To the point where I can’t help but say something

Share my pain

And hope

_Wish_ that

Maybe I’ll convince myself that I’m not so alone

Maybe I’ll keep you here with me longer

If I just share you and stop convincing myself that you were never here

So I share you with the world of strangers I will never meet

Although it’s funny

Because they seem to hold me with open arms

Show me more love than some of my old “friends”

That

That was the only lesson I ever needed to learn

And every time I share you with people

I feel

Lighter

As if a weight has just lifted off of me

However sooner or later

That weight will come back

Towering over me

And there’s nothing left to do but

Share him with the world

Then maybe one day

One day I’ll share him

Share _him_ and the person he was instead of the pain that he left me with

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Yeahhh so this is true. I write a lot about grief and sometimes i get a little worried when sharing it. Therefore I try to not write about it _too_ much. Which can be good because then I’m forced to create other ideas. But anywayssss. Thank you for reading and showing support. It means the world 💙