*I’ve had two of these. One today at karate and one yesterday at school*

There’s a screech.

A sound ringing in my ears,

repeating over and over again

my poor, misled fears,

a voice that won’t stop

breaking me down again.

They’re looking at me.

I’m messing up.

How am I supposed to

keep up with them?

They do their own things,

and I’m breaking down.

Stop showing weakness.

Please stop.

Please stop.

They’ll think you’re weak.

You are weak.

I can’t handle it anymore.

I have to walk out of the door.

They won’t try to find me.

I’ll hide away, just while I

try to calm down.

When my face isn’t burning,

When my hands aren’t shaking,

When my breathing is controlled.

I want to cry out.

Can somebody try and find me?

I want someone to care.

I can’t tell them all.

But I need someone to know.

Please.

Help.

Me.

It hurts.

My face burns

My heart races

I can’t think straight

I need to pace

I need to sit down

My hands shake

My legs wobble

I can’t see correctly

My head hurts

I can’t think straight.

I’m okay.

I’m okay.

I’m… okay.

I’m okay, I promise.

…did I just break a promise…?

It hurts.

They all look at me,

like they know what happened.

At karate, they looked understanding,

most confused, though.

But at school they treated it

like I’m the rotten one of the bunch.

Just because

my heart beats quicker

I need to pace

but need to sit down

my head hurts

my eyes burn

my face tingles and burns

I can’t think straight

I’m shaking.

It hurts.

Please,

can someone

help?

These attacks

are now daily,

but I don’t want

to tell my parents.

They don’t need to worry

more than they already do.

Am I doing too much?

I procrastinate a lot.

I’m playing a long piece of music,

working on writing a book,

testing for karate,

doing homework,

is that too much?

I’m so tired.

I wake up sore and early,

I don’t want to do anything.

Math is hard.

My teachers hate me.

My grades need to be high.

Nobody can know why I’m so stressed.

I’m missing him as well.

I need him to know.

I need my anxiety attacks to stop.

I’ve had six in the past two weeks.

Please stop.

How do I stop them without telling my parents?