“BUT IN ALL CHAOS, THERE IS CALCULATION!”

What am I calculating exactly?

How many times I’ve gone to the doctor because I tore my retina and I have to get another round of laser eye surgery.

How I have a minor concussion from getting slammed in the floor.

How I’ve bottled up so much stuff that my mind isn’t working.

Every few minutes I alsmost pass out either from the concussion or the emotions.

Where is the fair calculation in all this?

I have a wonderful boyfriend and since I have said boyfriend I get pain to even out my gain.

I also got new glasses.

But I failed a math test.

Am I going off the deep end yes!

My boyfriend did a very cute thing to ask me to be his girlfriend though.

Using Brazilian customs of asking the father before hand.

He’s so cute.

And I forgot what happened today in about every class.

Still don’t know how life works.

I’ve gotten to the point of compressing my emotions that I’m mean and I snap at people.

I don’t think before I do.

So I need a nap and maybe a good cry.

A _very_ long nap.