At night I lay awake in bed

Thinking about all the stupid things I’ve ever said

When it’s quiet all they come rushing back

My cringe moments

Lie dormant

Until they ATTACK

Flying at me all at once

Turning my pillow from cold to warm

Replacing the warm breeze of contentment

With bees

that sting

        and                 swarm 

So to escape this buzzing ambush

I twist

and turn 

inside

my mind 

Looking desperately for a magic eraser

That I can never truly find

So I’ve tried to tell myself

       My messes are really not that bad!

But I’m such easy prey to stalk

When I’m so used to being sad

Sure everyone messes up

And they say imperfection sets us free

But how can that be true

If my mistakes always follow me