Until I Couldn’t Breathe

I was just trying to be what you wanted.

All and everything you asked me for

And it hurts to know

My everything wasn’t enough

I gave you everything I had

I tried and tried

But it wasn’t what you pictured

And that’s too bad

I was just trying to be what you wanted

And I lost myself in the process

What’s the point of going through it all again

Just to find myself, if I’m not who I want

Around you my body tensed

Your presence made me over-stressed

I’d panic and wonder what I’m doing wrong

Even when you appear to be kind

Your words made it hard to breathe

The way you would look at me and seethe

And I don’t know how much more I can take

Before you push me over and I break

And it’s hard to believe

It took until I couldn’t breathe

It took until you suffocated me in your wants

That I forgot about my own needs

It’s hard to believe

That it took until I couldn’t breathe

To realise the person you wanted me to be

Was no one, but she

(Unfinished but it’s just going to rot in my drafts because I’ll never finish it so here is something.)

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