You Scare Me
You scare me out of myself.
You scare me into being someone who is hiding from people like you.
You scare me into not being able to reach out to talk about how I feel in fear of being in trouble or locked away for my emotions.
You scare me into hiding blades to collect dust for a decision I can make in a blur of emotions.
You scare me into watching how I look every day and every second so I can live without worry of being picked on.
You scare me into not talking about my point of view because if I think something different than everyone I am ostracized.
You scare me into pushing around my food.
You scare me into being quiet.
You scare me into silence so I don’t mess up.
You scare me into staying in my room so I won’t get yelled at.
You scare me into kindness.
You scare me into never asking questions, because one wrong question may lead to answers that make you angry.
You scare me into trying to balance my life by myself.
You scare me into writing.
You scare me into not doing what I like because I know you are watching somewhere.
You scare me into loving who you think I should.
You scare me into denying myself so I am not standing out.
You scare me into staying silent about my struggles even though everything else says to reach out.
You scare me into ignoring the signs that I have seen before when I went down this path of sadness and fear.
You scare me into never speaking out.
You scare me into changing myself to not love who I want to.
You scare me into panic attacks
You scare me into tears
You scare me into shaking
You scare me into dizziness
You scare me into anger
You scare me into insomnia
You scare me into perfection
You scare me into fear
You scare me into silence
You scare me into being who you want me to be
You scare me into fitting your ever changing standard
You scare me into not knowing who I am and who you are
You scare me so much the lines blur