I run out of the party fighting back the tears in my eyes. I knew she was up to something. She always is. I should have seen this coming but I didn’t. I never do. Xavion is running after me.

“Hey Myra wait up,” he shouted after me. I stopped and took a deep breath. I slowy turn around to face him. He’s still walking toward me. “Don’t pay attention to them. They are just trying to give you a hard time,” he says pointing back to the party.

Giving me a hard time is an understatement I am drenched in laced fruit punch. I reek of vodka right now and when I get home my father is going to kill me but I suppose it’s just a hard time.

He’s now closer to me shaking his head and smiling. “Plus what they said is crazy. Everyone knows that we don’t like each other we’re just friends,” He said now stopping in front of me. “That would be crazy,” he laughs.

Something snaps in me. “Would it?” I spat.

He nodded not looking at me and laughing,”It would.” I didn’t say anything I just stared at him. He looked at me. His smile slowly fading. The truth dawining on him. He frowned and shook his head slowly,”Myra we’ve known each other since kids. You can’t.”

I shrugged,”Why can’t I? How couldn’t I?”

He shook his head,”Because I.. I don’t know.”

I bitterly laughed,”It seems like you were the only one that didn’t know.” The tears were making another appearance as I blinked them away. He stepped forward reaching out for me once he noticed but I took a step back holding my hand out.

“Don’t” I breathed.

He stopped watching me. I took another deep breath looking up at the night sky. Once I had better control I turned to look at him. “You’re a great guy Xavion. I was lucky to see you turn into the person you are now. I would be crazy if I hadn’t noticed you.”

He watched me and I continued,”You know I tried fighting it. I fought it because like you said it is crazy but you’re amazing and I couldn’t. I liked you since we were kids. At times I thought you knew it was so obvious but you didn’t.”

We stared at one another for a while. He didn’t say anything. I’m not quite sure what I expected? Did I expect him to agree and feel the same towards me? Maybe a little piece of my heart did… However, the reality dawned on me. It’s unrequited. This time I couldn’t fight the tears streaming down my face.

I just ruined our friendship with this confession. Nothing is ever going to be the same. I can’t turn back time. This is over I’m not going to be able to face him anymore. He’s not going to want me around anymore.

Xavion stepped towards me,”Myra.” He kept walking towards me slowly with caution. He was afraid that if he moved too quick I would run away. I took a deep breath and looked at him. I have to finish what I started.

“I love you Xavion,” I said, he froze and I could feel my heart crack. “I know you don’t feel the same and I know this will change everything. Nothing will go back as it was after this but I wanted you to know. That I have loved you since we were kids and..” I took a deep breath and shook my head,”I don’t regret it.”

Xavion didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move his face stoic. He gave nothing away. I smiled one last time the tears still falling down my face as I turned around to leave. I left behind half of my heart in his grasp.

He didn’t chase after me. He didn’t call for me. He let me go. I didn’t just lose my first love but I also lost my childhood friend.