YEAH BUD I JUST BOARDED THE PLANE.

Oh fuck me he’s gonna be on the phone the whole flight.

YEAH BUD I WILL BE IN MIAMI IN A FEW

HOURS. AFTER TOUCH DOWN MEET ME AT MARTYS FOR A COUPLE OF BREWSKIS AND THEN WE CAN GO CHASE SOME TEENAGE TAIL

Who the fuck says “brewskis” unironically? And chase teenage tail? Bro is pushing 50.

ZAYNE HAS SOME COLUMBIAN NOSE CANDY FOR US. GIVE US AN UPPER HAND WITH THE LADIES.

Hmm… I do like nose candy… but not this guy. Fuck I should’ve brought my ear plugs.

YEAH BUD I GOT A NASTY RASH ON MY JUNK. BUT THEM BITCHES GONE BE TOO DRUNK TO TELL.

Aw sick.

YEAH BUD RICARDO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT LINING UP SOME LOLITAS AT BENNYS ON SATURDAY. AINT NOTHING LIKE A TIGHT LOLITA TO GET THE WEEKEND STARTED. KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Annnnd that’s where I draw the line.

*after a few hours of having to listen to nonstop yelling on the phone, the dipshit business bro and our soon to be hero depart the plane*

YEAH BUD I WILL CALL YOU BACK. I GOTTA TAKE A WICKED SHIT.

Alright you sick fuck. I got you now.

*our soon to be hero follows the business bro into the bathroom. And with a stroke of luck they are the only two in the restroom*

*the business bro wipes his ass but before he can flush our soon to be hero kicks in the door*

You like little kids huh? You sick fuck.

AYE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

*our soon to be hero throws a front kick into the business bros neck. He goes down and grabs onto the toilet. Our soon to be hero then grabs the back of business bros head and dunks it in the shit filled toilet*

How’s that taste bud? You like the taste of your own shit? Because I had to listen to you spew it over the course of that four hour flight.

*the business bro kicks and struggles but ultimately succumbs and drowns in his own shit water. Our now hero stand and exits the stall, and washes his hands of the filth*

I hope Starbucks is still open. I could use a pumpkin spice latte.