**_Chapter 7

_**_Davian_

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Am I crazy to think that she’ll be awake? It’s been two days since the crash, why should I expect her to be okay? It’s not completely impossible, especially if this is meant to be.

I suck in a deep breath as I lay in my dark bedroom. If this is meant to be? None of it’s meant to be, just because she was pretty doesn’t mean anything. Being pretty doesn’t matter, it’s not her outside that matters, it’s her heart. And I want her heart, I saw her for one second, but maybe it wasn’t her outside that’s doing this to me. Maybe it was something I couldn’t see, like a feeling.

I stare at my ceiling, waiting for the night to be over. I haven’t slept well since the crash. Two days isn’t that many, but it sure feels like it. I keep going over everything in my head. Allie’s right, there are millions of colors besides grey, but I still don’t know what color to pick.

And the fact that both her and Tommy are going to be watching me makes it even worse. I shouldn’t have told them anything, I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital yesterday. I should be doing what everyone else would do, move on. Forget about the crash, forget about her.

You _can’t!_ I think as my eyes stray to the window that’s beside my bed.I can’t just move on, I need to see this girl. I need to hear her name, look into her eyes, see that she’s okay.

It might be wrong, but I feel like the world owes me this. I deserve a chance, I deserve what I didn’t get the first time I hurt someone. And the second.

I shut my eyes, Jace’s face flashing in my mind. Somehow, he’s still the one I can’t stop thinking about, just like Mom and Dad. My two mistakes. I shouldn’t have hid that night, and I shouldn’t have let Jace control me.

A small sigh escapes me as I let my eye lids slowly open. What am I getting myself into?

_The mess you made._ The mess that screwed up everything.

. . .

It wasn’t too bad getting back into a car. Maybe it’s because it isn’t the car I was driving, maybe it’s because it’s not me behind the wheel.

I watch the flashing green trees as they fly by. I keep going over what I’m going to say. What color I’m going to pick. But no words come to my mind.

Tommy stops the truck in the middle of the parking lot of the hospital. Far enough away that maybe I can talk them out of walking in with me.

Tommy turns around in his seat, as he turns the engine off.

“Here we are.”

I nod, my seat belt still hugging my chest.

Allie twist around, reaching her hand out to my knee. “It’ll all be okay.” She whispers.

Tommy nods. “It will be.”

It won’t. How can anything be okay? “I guess.”

Allie gives my knee a small shake. “Just . . . Don’t give up.”

I think I already have. I nod again, unbuckling my seat belt and opening the door. Tommy and Allie don’t make any move to get out. Maybe they are going to just wait.

“Take however long you need,” Tommy calls to me as my feet hit the black road. “We’ll be here.”

Can he read minds? ‘Cause it feels a lot like he can.

“Thanks,” I say as I shut the door.

Colors. That’s all I can think about, all I need to think about. Nothing else matters, besides picking the right color.

I shove my hands into the pockets of Dad’s leather jacket as I enter the hospital’s hissing doors. I remember where the girls room was so I just follow my path from last time. None of the nurses or doctors question me being here, and for once in my life I’m glad I’m invisible.

I reach the waiting area, it’s pretty much empty. But Mr. Bowden, her dad, is sitting in the same chair as last time. Folding his arms, sitting in silence. Part of me wants to talk to him, tell him it was me who ruined everything. And before I can stop myself, I’m approaching him. He looks up, giving me the smallest hint of a smile as he uncrosses his arms.

I take a seat on the right of him, returning his small smile. “Hey.” Is all I can think to say.

He gives me a small nod. “Hi.”

Am I crazy? What am I doing here? Is this my way of stalling? My way of avoiding?

“What’s your name?” He asks, pulling me out of my questioning mind.

“Davian Chase.”

Mr. Bowden nods once. “Well, I hope everything’s okay Davian.”

At first I don’t know what he means. But then it hits me, I’m in a hospital, the place where bad news floats around.

“Thanks,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

Mr. Bowden doesn’t seem at all confused by this. He just smiles. “I think everything’s okay. My daughter woke up . . . We don’t have the best relationship. So I haven’t seen her much. I’ve just been here, waiting.”

Wait! His daughter! She’s okay! A smile comes to my lips as this sinks in. She’s okay.

“That’s good,” I say, trying not to sound to excited. “I’m glad.”

Mr. Bowden nods. “She’s outside right now. Sitting in the garden. The doctor said she’s recovering really well, and fast. I just wish I could say the same with our relationship.”

In the garden! Outside! I can find her, I can fix this right here, right now. “My . . . Sister.” I start not sure what Allie really is, but sister sounds right. “She always says that relationships are like flowers in the winter. Even if you can’t see them, they’re still there, you still need to care for them. It just takes a while for spring to come around, for the flower to bloom.”

Mr. Bowden gives me a small smile. “Your sister’s smart.”

“She is.” I say, realizing for the first time ever, that Allie’s the reason I haven’t totally failed yet. “She really is.”

Mr. Bowden gives me a small nod. “Thank you.” He says, it surprises me. What have I done besides lie and hurt him. “For listening.”

That might be my cue to leave, so I rise to my feet, unable to control the feeling that the girl is out there, right now. “It’s what I do best.” I reply as Mr. Bowden shoots me another smile, this one bigger. “I hope everything works out with your daughter.”

I walk away before he can reply. My heart racing as I make my way down the hallway. I’ve been in the garden before, it was years ago, but I still remember the way.

It takes a few minutes but soon I’m outside, waking through small trees and bright flowers. It’s just how I remember it, bright, happy, and escape.

I wander around for awhile, trying to decide what color to choose. It’s stupid because I don’t even know what that—

There she is. Sitting on the stone bench in the center of all these colors. Her back is turned to me, but it’s her. I know it is.

I walk slowly her way, my heart thrashing in my chest as I close the distance between us. Her blonde hair is loose, blowing gently in the soft breeze, making my heart skip a beat.

“Hey,” I say as I sit down next to her. She turns to face me and I swear, I swear everything is over. My life, my mistakes. Everything. Because she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, but it’s not her face I’m looking at. It’s her eyes, the pain in them. Pain I’ve created, pain I know, pain I want to heal.

She gives me a small smile, almost identical to her fathers, except her’s is more happy. _She’s good_. I think. She must do this all the time, hide herself. Hide her heart.

“I’m Davian,” I reach my hand out to hers, groaning on the inside as I realize how stupid that is. “Davian Chase.”

The girl lifts her gentle hand to mine, and then again, everything is over. I can’t help it, I smile, a real smile.

“I’m Maisie Bowden,” she replies, her hand still in mine. Her voice is so sweet, so sad. It makes my smile disappear, it makes me realize why I’m here. To add more pain into this girls life. To be the walking mistake I’ve always been.

“I’m sorry,” I eye her forehead where a red gash lays, just above her left eye.

“It’s okay,” Maisie whispers, her eyes leaving mine. I almost grab her face, I want to see those eyes. The ocean blue, the softest part of the sky. “It’s not your fault.”

I keep getting smacked across my face. And it hurts way, way more than when Jace hit me.

This— Maisie’s pain, both physical and mental— is my fault. For once, this is my fault. Everything.

“Are you okay?” Maisie’s soft voice brings me back, her eyes back on mine now.

I nod once. “Just a little out of it today.”

Maisie gives me another smile, she parts her lips but no words come out. She’s trying. I think as my eye linger on hers.

“This might sound crazy . . .” I trail off, my heart stopping my head. Was I really just about to tell her? What the heck is wrong with me! And it won’t sound crazy, it’ll sound unbelievable, it’ll sound like the crack of thunder before getting struck by lightning.

“What?” Maisie asks, her eyes falling out to the world of colors around us.

I need to pick. I think as I follow her gaze.

“You’re beautiful,” I blurt out. My eyes avoiding hers as they shoot over to me. She smiles, I can see it.

“That’s really sweet,” Maisie says. “But . . . You don’t have to lie.”

Lie. Maisie doesn’t know what lies I’m keeping. And this isn’t one of them. “I told you, it’s crazy.” I tell her. “But it’s not a lie.”

Maisie smiles again, as I meet her gaze.

“Look into my eyes,” I mumble. She does, and I feel it all ending. All over again, it’s amazing what this girl already makes me feel. “Does it look like I’m lying?”

Maisie licks her lips. “I don’t know you.” She reminds me. “So I can’t really say.”

I know she’s lying to me now, I can feel it. We don’t know each other, but we do.

“Plus . . .” Maisie trails off, her eyes leaving my gaze. “I’m never like this . . . I never talk . . .”

My heart leaps in my chest. This is just like the open door, Maisie doesn’t ever talk. But here we are, talking. Maybe this is meant to be.

“And I never tell a girl I think she’s beautiful when we’ve just met.”

Maisie gives me a gentle nudge. “We should celebrate.” She smiles.

I lift my hand in a fist, holding it out to Maisie.

She matches my movement, folding her fingers into her palm and then bumping her hand against mine. Butterflies swirl around in me, and I love it.

“Cheers,” I say.

“Cheers,” Maisie laughs.

Silence surrounds us, but it’s okay. It feels okay, nothing feels wrong or uncomfortable. It just feels like I’m sitting with someone, like I’m finally not alone.

Maisie sighs, bring me back to reality. “You know, I don’t really know what to think.” She meets my eyes. “About life. One minute I’m sitting in the car with my mom and the next . . .” Maisie sighs.

My heart slows in my chest. I need to tell her, but I can’t.

“I’ll listen,” I whisper. “I get it. Losing your parents.”

“I’m sorry,” Maisie whispers back.

I bet she wouldn’t be if she knew why she doesn’t have her mom. I meet her eyes again, and then I know she wouldn’t think that. And still I can’t tell her.

“I better go,” Maisie says standing up, wrapping her fingers around her left wrist.

I copy her, standing as she turns to face me. “Will I ever see you again?” I ask.

Maisie brushes a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “If this world likes me.”

I nod even though I have a million things I still need to tell her. I watch as Maisie walks away, giving me a small wave as she leaves the garden.

I lower myself back down onto the bench. All the flowers shine out at me. The reds, the oranges, the blues, all of them. I had thousands of choices, and yet I picked black. I picked to lie.

My head keeps telling me it was the wrong thing to do. But my heart . . . My heart is telling me it was for the right reason.

And I don’t know who to listen to anymore.

(If you made it to the end of this then thank you! It’s a long chapter! But I’ve been having a pretty good time so I’ve felt like writing more. I’m pretty excited with this chapter! I always love making my characters meet. Anyways thanks so much for the reads and support. It means the world to me!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️☺️😊)