When I Look In The Mirror
I wake up, my eyes struggle to stay open, im forced to blink hard to get used to keeping them open again after hours of slumber. Somehow, I roll myself out of my bed and onto my bedroom floor. Standing up I can see the mess that has accumulated for the last few months, the piles of clothes lie neglected alongside the pieces of paper I can only presume is homework.
I check the clock on my bedside dresser, *6:30* it reads. My thoughts are slow to render as I drag myself out of my bedroom and down my stairs. I have to manuver around piles of junk scattered across the staircase.
God I have to clean this up.
I reach the bottom steps and I reach up to scratch my head, it feels greasy and messy. Rubbing my eyes, I begin my journey towards the washroom.
I take a left and then another, I take the old rounded door handle and pull the board open. I flick the lightswitch and enter. Its another mess, thats what you get having a family of five sharing one bathroom. Walking towards the shower, I feel myself dragging along clothes left on the floor. Opening the shower door I look for the handles to turn it on, as I twist, I hear the machines in the room over start to roar.
Turning around towards the sink, I look straight ahead, standing parallel to me, is a monster.
Its hair is standing at every angle, its skin is discoloured, with blemishes and dots all over its shoulders. Its face droops with a certain heaviness, almost as if its being dragged down.
I walk closer to it. I see more imperfections and terrifying features.
The cheeks are high and full, they cover majority of the face, almost copying the cabbage-patch dolls. This creature lumps itself around, fat jiggling with every step. Its hair is a disgusting colour, as if its spewing gasoline. It looks at me with a confused face, looking at me with the same questions behind its eyes, scared that it will jump out at any minute, I quickly undress myself and rush under the shower head.
I relax as I groom every part of my body, looking down at my stomach and limbs with hatred, I envy the other kids in class.
As I finish my shower and return to the present world, I look in the mirror again. this time the monster is diffrent. Its skin is still raw and multicoloured, its hair is still wet and greasy, its face is still round and disoriented. I take another step closer. Feeling my own face as the monster imitates my actions, I feel over my non-existent nose bridge, I cup my round cheek. And my eyes still fill with hatred.
When I look into the mirror, im met with myself, ugly and distraught. No matter how many showers I take, I will never be clean enough, pretty enough, strong enough.
When i look into the mirror, I will always be reminded of my mixed heritage, how I will never look the part im supposed to be, how I will never fit into the categories i’m boxed into.
When I look into the mirror, all I see is a monster.