A life without him

I know all too well.

It’s exhausting and repetitive

An endless chase

Searching here and there

Everywhere

Desperate to be loved by anyone but myself.

I’m passed around

Like a joint in the crowd

Life without him is lackluster

Dull in color and humor.

Muffled dreams, unclear visions.

I feel small

I control my voice

Afraid of being too loud

Too potent

Too much.

Hush

Hush now, girl

Don’t waste your tears

God has been preparing you

for the love of your life

Through all these painful years.

I open my eyes

To colors I didn’t know existed

My heart soars each day

As my spirit is lifted.

Life with him

Feels like I’m living in a dream.

To love him,

To be loved by him.

I don’t want to live another day

If I’m not walking with him

Hand in hand, upstream.