I’ve been told by a

toothless man that 1+1 is 4.

He later asked if I could

I could spot him on a “itty bitty quarter.”

I’ve been given food for thought

by men who couldn’t afford food.

They told me to work very hard,

“Cause look at all the hell we bought.”

I’ve been told there’s lizard folk

within the Oval Office.

But that was at a pet food store,

while I was looking at iguanas.

I’ve heard a deaf man speak about the end,

but that was as he took a leak behind the bar while hitting on my friend.

I’ve been told that monsters don’t exist under the shadows ‘neath my bed.

That one is quite true

- cause monsters

- they exist inside our heads.