you bit into your apple, skin crunching like bone

your rosy cheeks puffing out slightly as you chew

I can hear my pulse rattling through my ribs

blood rushes through my veins as I unfurl my hands and offer you my heart

your snickers cut through my soul like a knife

"no." you say. "you're ugly. disgusting"

your eyes no longer look like gentle waves. they feel more like a tempest

"your teeth are crooked. you're fat. I'd never date someone like you"

my heart slides out of my grasp and smashes on the ground. fragments tinted in red slice into the flesh of the earth

you walk away, leaving me in the bleeding mess you caused

i don't remember the first few days after that

only the sharp sting of vomit up my throat and the sticky, heavy coat of tears in my eyes

i didn't eat much. i didn't care

i didn't want to feel a bullet blast through my chest every time I glanced at myself in the mirror

i didn't want to shrink in fear whenever you passed by

i didn't _want _to be incapable of dating. i didn't want to be ugly

so i practiced

i practiced carving my face into the sculpture of what you wanted

i practiced sliding a knife through the top layer of my skin, molding muscle and sawing at bone

i ripped out my teeth and sewed them back into my gums, correctly, this time

i wore clothes that squeezed my lungs and pressed into my stomach

it didn't matter

you never noticed

I pray that Aphrodite will stitch my heart together soon