My hand slipped. That’s how this started. That’s all it was. It’s not something that would usually freak me out. But this time was different. This time it did. When I looked down, I wasn’t thrilled by far how I’d come, I was scared of how far I could fall. To be perfectly honest, the thrill of the fall is usually what I like about this. It’s probably why I’m up here today.

I’ve never had asthma before, but I imagine this is probably what it feels like. I can’t breathe, and I can’t think. I’m frozen, clutched to the wall. I can feel the wind on my back pick up.

Amidst all this, I have the sudden urge to let go. To let myself fall. I didn’t tell anyone that I was coming here. I didn’t bring any of my equipment either. I don’t know why. Maybe I was looking for an escape; a way out.

I decided that I needed to get my shit together. I pulled my head in, cleared my mind and kept climbing.

I tried to stop the panic from creeping over me again. I tried to breathe. I climbed upwards. This was just a moment of doubt, that’s all this was. I reached up and my hand slipped. That’s how this ends.