I use my stapler a lot. I work with a lot of paper and it needs a lot or organisation and filing done. That’s why I noticed straight away when my stapler was missing. I could have just gone to the stationary cupboard and found a new one but I really liked MY stapler. It had cute stickers on thanks to my daughter’s wonderful decorations. I browsed my coworkers desks to see if someone had borrowed it but no luck. It hadn’t been missing for long. I’d used it only a couple hours before I realised it was gone.
I tried the lost and found. There was a lot of weird stuff in there. A chewed on pen, a pack of olives, and a small wooden carving of a penguin. That was pretty cute. No stickered stapler though.
As I left the lost and found room though, I noticed a trail of staples that led from my desk to a room I’d never seen before. Had it always been there? Did I really just never see the door there before?
When I got the room the door opened but it took a lot more strength to push than I expected. I took a step into the dark room, where the only light came through the glow of a computer screen.
As I got closer, the door closed behind me.
I clicked on the screen and it woke up to show me camera footage. Camera footage of the office. It had cameras everywhere. Even the bathrooms. Something felt off. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be here.
But front and centre was a camera that showed my desk. A rewound a little and sure enough my stapler was on my desk a couple hours prior. I scrubbed through the video slowly and one minute the stapler is there, one minute it’s gone. How could it disappear like that?
I went to exit the room and the door opened a lot easier this time. I noticed straight away a new trail of staples leading from this room to our stationary cupboard.
Maybe someone put it away in there, ignoring that it had stickers.
I walked in and there were what seemed like hundreds of staplers taking up every inch of shelf space in the room. None of them were stickered though. I rummaged through them to no avail.
I noticed one last trail of staples leading on into a room but just a flat blank wall.
I approached the wall and noticed nothing interesting about it. I looked back at my desk to the spot where the stapler would usually sit. Still vacant.
I held my forehead and went to rest my hand against the wall but it went through it, causing me to stumble.
I looked up at the wall, eyes fixed. I reached out and my hand went through the wall.
I swallowed, hard, and then pushed my entire body through the wall and I immediately fell into a dark room with an endless pit of staples.
Before I could take that in, I saw my stickered stapler just ahead of me. I reached out to it but every time I tried to move, the mountain of staples swallowed me further. I reached as hard as I could and grabbed the stapler.
Doing so made me sink deep into the pit of staples. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t breathe.
October 4th:
I’m going on my first date with Harold tonight!! I can’t believe he asked me out, I’m so excited. He hasn’t told me where he’s taking me yet, but I don’t care. Wherever we go will be perfect if he’s there.
Betty
October 5th:
That was a mess. I think she hates me. I know she hates me. There’s no way I’m getting a second date. I was so nervous and I said all the wrong things. She was so quiet the whole time, I bet she was just waiting to get away from me.
Harold
October 5th:
That was the best night of my life. He’s so sweet and interesting and funny. He was going on and on about stuff he loved, I could listen to him forever. I was a little nervous talking to him, but I just liked the sound of the voice. I hope he asks me on another date!
Betty
October 7th:
I knew it. still haven’t heard from her. She probably hates me now. If she liked me, she’d let me know. Right?
Harold
October 8th:
He still hasn’t asked me on a second date. Maybe he’s just nervous. I could ask him but he might just be busy.
Betty
October 19th:
I saw her in class today. She smiled at me. It made some of the pain go away but I still can’t help but feel like I screwed things up.
Harold
October 19th:
I saw him in class today. He’s so sweet, he held the door open for me and smiled at me. It reassured me that he’s going to ask me out again!! I can’t wait.
Betty
October 22nd:
I don’t know what to do. I want to reach out to her, but I don’t want to pester her if she wants nothing to do with me. Maybe I should anyway, I don’t know. I probably won’t.
Harold
October 23rd:
HE MESSAGED. He asked me to go costume shopping with him for Halloween. I hope we get matching costumes, that’d be cute. I told him I’d been thinking about him. He seemed surprised? I’ll make sure to keep reminding him.
Betty
October 30th:
I was so stupid. I almost lost my chance with her. She’s so great. I’m gonna make sure to check in with her and hold her close from now on.
P.s. we’re going trick or treating together as Fred and Daphne from scooby doo with a couple other friends. I can’t wait.
Harold
My hand slipped. That’s how this started. That’s all it was. It’s not something that would usually freak me out. But this time was different. This time it did. When I looked down, I wasn’t thrilled by far how I’d come, I was scared of how far I could fall. To be perfectly honest, the thrill of the fall is usually what I like about this. It’s probably why I’m up here today.
I’ve never had asthma before, but I imagine this is probably what it feels like. I can’t breathe, and I can’t think. I’m frozen, clutched to the wall. I can feel the wind on my back pick up.
Amidst all this, I have the sudden urge to let go. To let myself fall. I didn’t tell anyone that I was coming here. I didn’t bring any of my equipment either. I don’t know why. Maybe I was looking for an escape; a way out.
I decided that I needed to get my shit together. I pulled my head in, cleared my mind and kept climbing.
I tried to stop the panic from creeping over me again. I tried to breathe. I climbed upwards. This was just a moment of doubt, that’s all this was. I reached up and my hand slipped. That’s how this ends.
It’s not like I’m new here. I’ve been here for a while, probably too long. I’ve sat by as countless coworkers have moved on to better things. I hadn’t really thought about what comes after this. I don’t think I even considered there to be ‘better things’. There definitely has to be. Being here so long, things start becoming automatic or second nature. It’s hard to focus when that happens. Hard to improve or go anywhere. I tend to just…stay where I am I guess.
The first email I received from a sender who’s name was just a question mark - subject line: Eric, follow these steps and change your life! - I wrote off as spam or someone trying to get a significant portion of my life savings into their pockets. At least they had my name right. It wasn’t until later, when they became…specific, I guess, that I started paying attention to them. It became hard not to.
Eventually one email came through and my curiosity got the best of me. I read through it and figured I could mess with whoever was scamming me. I was in much need of some kind of entertainment or an escape from this place.
Once I had read through it, three things were abundantly clear:
Noted.
The bit that really got me though, was that whoever sent that email new where I worked, where I lived and oddly enough my mother’s full name, maiden included.
Either this person had stolen my answers to every security question I’d ever answered, or they knew me. I didn’t really want to think about it, so I tried to ignore it.
The next email I received contained some more passionate wording. Things like “if you don’t follow these steps, you’ll never amount to anything.”, “do you want to be a nobody for the rest of your life?” And “act now or die alone”. Not sure if they were all necessary. I got the point by the first one.
I can’t say that the email didn’t have me feeling a little vulnerable. Conveniently enough it also mentioned an incentive that my company was running where you can pitch an idea and be in the running for a promotion. I hadn’t even considered entering it but this email had a step by step guide on what to wear, what to say and what to do along with a super detailed pitch about a new product line that I thought I’d heard my colleague Dave talking about a while back.
I figured why not, I didn’t click any links - not that there were any to click now that I think about it - nor did I reply. I won’t forget that rule.
I followed the steps and used the pitch the email supplied and it worked. I got the position. They all loved it. The bosses thought i was great. Dave not so much though.
More emails came and I kept following them. There weren’t any consequences and I never replied but they always knew what I had coming up and they always said just the right thing to bring me the maximum success out of any situation.
Things were going great, my bosses loved me, my bank account loved me and I kinda started to like me too.
That didn’t change that I was going home alone every night to a messy apartment just to go back to work the next day. There wasn’t much helping that.
That’s when the emails got more personal. They started talking about redecorating my apartment, my room, how I dress, places to meet girls.
They knew what my room looked like.
But I didn’t care, because I would follow the steps in the email and my life would improve.
My apartment wasn’t messy anymore.
I felt more confident.
I met someone. Georgia.
She was great and I think she really liked me. Well she liked the version of me that I presented through the detailed step by step guides of the emails I was still receiving. They never stopped coming and I never stopped reading them. I couldn’t. I was too scared of failing or messing up.
I was dependant on the thing.
Hell, one day I won some good money from the lottery. I couldn’t stop, why would I? Would you?
I couldn’t stop, but the emails did. No warning, no nothing. It was random. One day I suddenly stopped receiving emails. I was mad, furious.
I trashed my place. I went out to dinner with Georgia and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to act. I blew it. She broke up with me. My bosses stopped being impressed with me.
I scrolled through all the previous emails trying to find some kind of clue or something else to go off of.
Nothing.
But I did click on the senders name, the question mark. It brought up a full email address that the messages were being sent from. I’d never even thought to look.
The email address was mine.
Mine?
I searched through my sent messages and none of them came up. I looked through each email id been sent and they were all coming from my address but there was no proof of them anywhere.
Georgia came to collect her things from my place. I tried explaining everything snd showing her the emails. She thought I was playing some sick prank. That I was some crazy person.
Once she’d left I made the biggest mistake of my life. I replied to the most recent email.
I was angry and stupid.
I replied.
I said some mean things and ranted.
I was anxious and upset.
Nothing happened. By that I mean, I’d replied to my own email address and not received it. It was sent. But not to me. Now now at least.
I spiralled and started spending away my money. I’d lost everything that I’d worked so hard for.
I needed to find a new way to be successful. I could have started working hard at my job, I could have worked on myself. I could have talked to someone.
I didn’t. I looked for an easy way.
I was a bit drunk and since my first reply didn’t have any consequences I figured I’d send a new message to the address. I thought maybe I’d give myself some advice. Since I was lacking in it.
I thought it was dumb at the time. But I sent through the winning lottery numbers from a few months ago, dated. I told myself to follow the steps, not to tell anyone else and I made sure to tell myself DO NOT REPLY. I checked my bank account as if to think that a past version of myself had followed my advice and won the lottery.
When I checked, the money was there. I was stunned.
I didn’t question it. I just kept sending emails through, it started out financial, work related, things to give my current self some success.
Then I got into the personal stuff, who to see, where to go, how I wanted my room decorated.
The more emails I sent, the worse I felt though. I had all the material things that I wanted but I was never working for anything.
I was out of shape, drinking all the time, eating junk food. I don’t know the details but I know my body was going to shit.
I was getting pains and always felt like shit.
The more it tried to prevent it, the worse it got.
One day the pain was really bad, I got up and I couldn’t type an email properly, my hands were too shaken. I managed to call an ambulance and head outside. It didn’t take too long before I saw it coming.
Then it hit me.
DO NOT REPLY.
The room I’m in is dark, but I can still see the metal contraption in front of me. It looks like a glorified dentists chair.
There’s a harness for what I presume is going to be my head and wrist straps.
I don’t want to step into it but I don’t have a choice.
I have to do this.
I lower myself into the contraption.
The man next to me straps my wrists in and tightens the harness around my head.
I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and my breaths getting shaky.
I look up and see light appear into the dark room. The light gets larger as I am lifted towards it.
The man who strapped me in says “be careful out there”.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
CHARLES, 38, leans over and whispers to GARY, 22, across the gap between their desks.
Charles: I heard that Blake took the last cookie.
Gary’s jaw drops as his brows furrow. He speaks a little too loud.
Gary: You’re kidding! We’ve been saving that for days!!
Charles cowers and shushes Gary. Gary clasps his mouth.
Gary: It was going to be for Trix when she got back from leave!
Charles nods.
Charles: I know, how rude.
Gary shakes his head.
INT. BLAKES HOUSE - DAY
The house is old and falling apart. There’s food scraps on the floor and empty bottles and cans lying around.
BLAKE, 25, sits on his couch with his feet up, flicking through channels on his TV.
DING!
Blake’s phone lights up on the other side of his raggedy couch.
He looks over and back to the TV.
DING!
His phone lights up again.
Blake groans and grabs it.
Messages from GARY fill his screen.
Gary (text): BLAKE!
Blake’s eyes widen as he sits up straight.
Gary (text): I know what you did!
Blake throws his phone across the room and lays his head in his hands.
His knee bounces up and down as he looks to the phone across the room.
Blake: F*ck.
Blake runs over and dives to his phone. His fingers frantically type on the screen.
Blake (text): Hey Gary, we don’t need to be rash about this. How about you come over and we sort this out in person?
Blake stares at his screen, breathing heavily.
DING!
Blake looks at the new message.
Gary (text): Okay? I’ll be over in 20.
Blake sends back a thumbs up.
Blake let’s out a sigh and takes a deep breath in and out.
He looks to the mess on his floor and a stain in front of his cupboard.
INT. BLAKES HOUSE - LATER
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Blake struggles to keep his cupboard door closed and settles on putting a chair against it. It’s not holding properly.
Blake answers the door and there stands Gary with a smug look in his face and still in office clothes.
Gary goes to speak but Blake cuts him off.
Blake: Before you say anything can you just take a seat?
Gary furrows his brows but accepts Blake’s offer and he takes a seat on a dining chair that was pointed out to him.
Blake wonders around him in circles.
Blake: Okay Gary, I’m really sorry about this, i don’t know how you found out but I never meant to get you involved.
Gary: What?
Blake quickly ties Gary up against the chair with rope.
Gary: What the f*ck are you doing?
Blake wipes sweat off his forehead.
Blake: This is for your own good Gary, I told you. I didn’t want to get you involved.
Gary: It’s just a f*cking cookie Blake.
Blake frowns.
Blake: What?
Gary: The cookie. From work? Was meant for Trix —
Blake: What?
Gary: What?
Blake bends over with his hands on his knees.
Blake: Oh thanks god. I thought you were talking about…
Blake points behind him.
Gary: What the f*ck is going on?
Blake: Ugh nothing, I was talking about the cookie too. Hah hah got you!
Behind Blake, his cupboard door falls open as a bloodied dead body falls out.
Blake bears this and grimaces.
Gary’s eyes widen.
Gary: What the f*ck?
It’s been two weeks since it started. Sometimes it happens at night, sometimes when I’m stressed and sometimes exactly when I need it. It’s like a chance to breath. A chance to gather my thoughts and just take a moment to slow down. Time is frozen. Everyone else is still, cars and birds are frozen in spot. Everything is still except me. Sometimes it goes quickly but sometimes it lasts for what feels like hours. Not that I can tell.
But last night, my friend dragged me to a party that I didn’t want to go to. I spent most of the time off on the corner. But when things started to get really loud it happened again. But this time, even though it seemed like everyone was frozen. I saw one person weave through the rest with ease and leave the party. I went to follow them but then time caught up.
I’ve never seen them before and I don’t know who they are. But I have a funny feeling that I’ll see them again. I hope I do.
I awaken from a rest as a deep vibration sends a shiver up my spine as my hairs pull from my arms. The blinding white slowly fades into darkness before moonlight gushes over a small pond in front of me. The dark forest surrounds me wholly as light sparkles from the water in front of me. I blink hard before my feet feel wet. I look down and see myself standing in the water. The water isn’t rising but I feel myself sinking deeper into it. The water reaches my face and suddenly I can’t breathe. My struggle for air eases as I now don’t need to breathe. My lungs are full and the water darkens until I’m resting again.
“I don’t want to go!” Yells Jack.
“You have to. That’s how this works.” proclaims Mary.
The two stare at each other has tears well in Jacks eyes.
“It’s not fair” Jack mutters.
“Jack. You’re going to jail. That’s the end of it. “ Mary presses.
“It’s not my fault! I don’t deserve this” Jack stands and slams the table in front of him.
Mary stands and point at the now visible table with a monopoly board on it.
“You landed on the space. Go to jail now. Or we stop playing. “
Jack sighs and calmly placed his playing piece on the jail spot. He sinks back into his seat with his arms crossed. Mary smiles.
I look out towards the view across the field below me. The land is barren. This isn’t what I came for. I keep scanning to no avail. I start to tread back but can now see the point of the cliff in front of me looks almost like it’s pointing at something. From the right angle, it points at a part between two trees. That’s it. That’s where I need to go.
