Blue is the color of Valentine’s Day

The holiday didn’t even used to register for me

Because I was so sure I was going to find someone

But now

I watch the TV and movie weddings of my favorite characters

And the glow of the screen paints me the most intense shade of blue

Because the truth is starting to creep up on me with the intensity of lemon juice and the inevitability of a sunrise:

That as much as I used to think I was destined to find someone

Not everyone gets a happy ending

Not everyone finds their person

And the universe isn’t in the business of granting wishes

Especially to people who do romance like turtles without their shells

Like me

In this raging storm

I’ve been blinded by the lights behind the clouds

But it’s time to put on my windshield wipers

And face the fact that

Maybe my person isn’t out there

Maybe I’ll never get myself together

Maybe I won’t find them

I may be doomed forever to collect useless knick knacks and tumblers from bachelorette parties

Instead of pretty looking shells on the beach with my person

There are other beauties in life I guess

Nature, lakes, the sky

Sea air

My friends say they love me

My parents love me

Until they die

Then what after that?

Do I walk through the world

An unfinished painting

A magnet with no stickiness

With the wasted potential

Of outdoor Christmas lights

No one ever bothered to plug in?

Where’s the other half

Of my torn photograph?

I don’t want to get married just to get married

I’d much rather just be alone

But great love is the peak of what it means to be human

Or so I’m told

So I’m quivering cerulean

That for me

My life may always just be an almost full glass

And I’ll always see pink hearts in shades of blue

That for me

Great love may always just be a question mark