I had stopped for some reason. I don’t know why. Maybe I had just gone too numb at this point. The blood was on my floor, yet I didn’t feel upset. It was almost like I was meant to relapse. It was almost like this was supposed to happen.

I was lying to myself. Over and over again.

Someone knocked softly on the door. I blinked slowly, looking up, as though I had my door open. I blinked again, trying to will myself to say something, or do something, but instead I just stayed where I was.

“Cas?”

It was the voice of my little brother, full of worry. I tried to work words into my throat, but instead they clogged and got stuck there in a lump. I swallowed, hard.

Three more loud, thundering knocks. “Cas!”

I should say something so he’ll go away. But I don’t. I blink again. I was waiting for my feelings to come back. I wasn’t sure that they ever would. It was almost like my entire world had ended the second he left me. There was nothing left to keep me away from the edge anymore.

At some point I had tugged my sleeves down over my wrists again, because I was now watching the blood slowly bleed through. It was almost fascinating. Almost.

I didn’t even flinch when I heard the key jingle in the lock, or when the door flew open to reveal all ten of my brothers. I blinked, slowly looking up.

Blake was in the front, the keys hanging limply in his hands. His eyes were searching every part of me before they landed on the floor, the blood visible from where I was sitting. He didn’t freak out, instead he ordered for everyone to leave immediately.

I stared as they began to fight, still not feeling anything. In the end, Blake was the only one left. He took a cautious step in the bathroom, his eyes finding the razor. I just watched as he came closer. I didn’t move, I didn’t speak, it was like I was frozen in time.

“Cas,” Blake said softly, slowly getting down to my level. “What’re you doing, sweetheart?”

What was I doing? I wasn’t doing anything. I haven’t been doing anything. I’ve just been here, waiting for me to stop existing, because my world ended, right? So, why am I still here?

Why AM I still here?

My fingers curled into my palms, my nails digging into my hand. Blake kept his eyes on me as he slowly reached over, peeling my fingers away as he kept eye contact with me. He held my hands tightly, almost as if he was afraid to lose me.

I blinked. Something wet fell down my cheek. Blake freed one of my hands so he could wipe it away.

Cradling my cheek in his hand, he whispered “You just lost your whole world, didn’t you?”

And just like that, my feelings came in a whirlwind of color and emotions. They slammed into me like a freight train, jerking me out of my frozen state. I gave a small gasp, pulling away from Blake, but he held me where I was. The tears came then as I felt my heart rip apart for the second time today. I was sobbing, almost choking, and gasping for air. Blake placed my head in the crook of his neck as he pulled me into his embrace, rubbing my back soothingly.

“It’s okay honey,” he whispered as I fell apart. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”

“I was just trying to be what you wanted,” I said. “That’s why you actually liked me back then. Because I didn’t say anything, or do anything, that could potentially piss you off. I’ve stopped walking on eggshells around you, so now you realize that you have no control over me.”

I stepped forwards. “I was scared. I’m not scared anymore. I will tell the entire world what he did to me because I didn’t deserve it. I never did. So you can either stand behind me, or you can fall in front of me. I can’t make that choice for you. I’m done lying just to protect his name and your name.”

Blake stared at me, apparently rendered speechless. I looked over at Ani, who was wearing a proud smile.

“And that,” she said, shifting sassily on her hip. “Is on period. All she spoke were facts.”

I looked back to Blake, who seemed to have finally regained his voice.

“Castleton,” he said, his voice tired. “I didn’t have proof.”

“But you knew.” I cut him off. “You knew what he did to me.”

“I had an idea-“

“And you chose to protect his name instead of being there for me. I was fourteen years old! That’s fucked up.”

I looked at Ani again. She jutted her chin up.

“So everyone will know his name,” she said, anger lacing her voice. “I could’ve easily been protected from him if he was locked up, rotting away in a jail cell. But instead I suffered. Your sister suffered. And who knows how many other girls suffered because of him.”

“Girls-“

“I don’t give a shit about your reputation, Blake,” I snapped. “I don’t give a shit about OUR reputation. He’s turned his eyes onto Nathaniel and I will be DAMNED if he even lays one fucking finger on him.”

I leaned in, placing my hands firmly on the desk as I stared my brother in the eyes. “I didn’t have anyone to protect me. But I will protect Nathan. Because I know you won’t.”

I stood up, and Ani looped her arm in mine as we turned away, walking towards the door. I heard Blake call my name behind me, but I kept walking. I had a mission. And I was going to take down the motherfucker who took my innocence at 14. I was going to make sure the world knew his name. And I was going to make sure that Hell had a VIP spot reserved for him when he got there.

And I was going to make sure my baby brother didn’t feel the pain that I did.

Ani had a little skip to her step as we headed to her car. I felt a smile tug at my face.

“You ready?” She asked, looking at me.

I couldn’t stop the grin this time. “Fuck yeah. I’ve been ready.”

“Camden!”

At the sound of my boyfriend’s voice, I froze. My hands, however, were still shaking, and I dropped the bottle into the sink. There was the sound of scattering pills before it all fell silent. I gulped, knowing I was in deep shit now.

“Camden.” Arian repeated, taking a step towards me, his voice stern. “What the fuck were you just doing?”

I knew my cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. “Nothing-“

“Camden. Lee. Miller. Do not lie to me.”

I withdrew into myself, my eyes searching for anywhere to stare but at him. I crossed my arms anxiously and took a step back away from the sink, just wanting to be as far away from Arian as possible. Why the fuck didn’t I lock the door when I came in here?

Arian stepped in front of the sink, and my eyes stayed trained on his shoes. The silence pounded in my ears as he picked up the bottle I had dropped. I could feel the anger emanating off of him as he finally turned towards me.

“You promised me.” He said, his voice strained, hurt. “You told me you had thrown these out.”

I had said that. I had lied.

I shuffled my feet, tears lodged into my throat. I felt that if I opened my mouth, I would cry. Arian turned back to the sink, gathering the rest of the pills in his hands. My eyes finally drifted up, but he wasn’t looking at me. He held a handful of pills in one hand, and with the other, he reached over and lifted the toilet lid up.

My heart dropped straight to my stomach.

Without looking at me, he threw the pills in the toilet. A strange noise left my throat as he flushed them down the drain. Yet I stayed frozen. He glanced at me, his eyes almost empty.

“Where are the rest?” He demanded. I flinched a bit at his tone.

“I don’t-“

“Camden.”

I withered. “Hidden in a t-shirt. In my drawer.”

He studied me, seeing if I was telling the truth this time. He must’ve decided to take my word for it, because he told me to stay where I was and quickly left. My legs seemed to give out from underneath me, because when he did come back, I was on the floor. He had two pill bottles in his hands, which he quickly opened.

“Arian, please-“ I begged right before he dumped them and flushed them as well. Only then did he look at me again.

“Is that all?”

“Arian-“

I needed them. I needed those pills.

“Camden, I am only asking you once. Those better have been it. If I search your room and find more I’m going to lose my shit. So you’d better tell me right now, are those the only ones you have?”

A tear slipped down my face. I was shaking too bad to even think about lying right now. Plus I had already caused enough pain today. I almost broke entirely when I said, “I don’t have anymore.”

“Are you lying to me?”

I shook my head. I wanted to throw up.

A few seconds passed before Arian finally got down on his knees in front of me. Tears were streaming down my face now, and my knees were tucked into my chest. I couldn’t focus on him, but I looked vaguely in his direction.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. And I meant it. I wish I didn’t need the pills. But my arms were itching without them.

“I know,” Arian whispered, his voice no longer angry.

His arms wrapped around me as he held me close. And we stayed that way. Maybe for a couple minutes. Maybe for an hour. Maybe for forever. But it was just me and him, in the silence.

His breath was hot against her neck, his fingers were exploring every inch of her body, everything felt so right, maybe it was meant to be-

No. She couldn’t do that to him.

Cora grabbed his hand from her waist, causing him to freeze. Their hearts were pounding in their chests, in sync, as though the universe was telling them to keep going, despite the risks of it all.

She couldn’t. She couldn’t she couldn’t she couldn’t-

“Isaac-“ Cora breathed. “We can’t.”

He didn’t move. “But this feels-“

“Perfect.” She finished. “It feels so right. But you know we can’t.”

He dropped his hand from her waist, but he didn’t step back. His eyes found hers in the darkness, and he rested his forehead against hers. She swallowed, unsure of what to do. She knew she should push him away, tell him to run and never look back, because falling in love with her was a death sentence. She knew this.

So why did she let him stay?

“Tell me why,” he said, his voice low.

“You know-“

“I want to hear it,” he said, his hand reaching up to cup her face. “I want to hear it from you, why we can’t do this. You keep pushing me away, saying that we can’t, but I think you’re scared. Scared to love. Scared to admit that you’re in love. Because of your past.”

Cora swallowed, hard. “I’m scared of what will happen when people find out. I’m scared I’m going to ruin you. You know I’m not good at love.”

How would he know if she refused to love him, though?

Isaac gave a small chuckle. “Cora, I’m not scared.”

“You should be!” The outburst was unexpected. Isaac dropped his hand and straightened, but he did not move. Instead, he stood and waited while she breathed heavily, her hands twisting inside themselves.

Cora dropped her eyes to her feet, unable to meet his warm, brown eyes anymore. They were a trap, a promise of safety, but safety wasn’t guarantee, not in her world.

“Isaac, I’ve stolen things. I’ve done drugs. I’ve fought people. I’ve ran away from the law. I’ve stabbed people. Ever since I was 12 years old. I dated an adult. I’ve had sex with an adult. I’ve fucked up, and the people I’ve hung out with? They don’t let shit go that easily. If they see me- with you- they’ll get you to get back at me.”

She took another deep breath. “Even if I had a perfect past, I still couldn’t have you. Because you’re perfect. You had a stable girlfriend for three years. You got straight A’s in school. You’ve never been in trouble before in your life. You’re kind, compassionate, and you have a big heart. The world has never hurt you the way it has hurt me. You see the good in the world- I see the bad. I would destroy you from the inside out. I can’t do that to you, Isaac. I would never forgive myself.”

She couldn’t forgive herself now and she hadn’t even done anything.

Silence. The silence killed her more than anything. She wanted him to scream at her. She wanted him to do anything except stand there, his chest moving up and down in deep, soothing breaths. She was going insane as the seconds ticked by and he didn’t say anything-

“Cora-“ he took a deep breath. Was he laughing at her? He fucking was, wasn’t he?

“Love,” he tried again, barely containing the laughter in his voice. “I don’t think you understand.”

She finally looked up at him. He WAS laughing! He had that fucking smirk on his face. Why was his laugh so intoxicating? Why wasn’t she mad at him for laughing at her?

Why why why why why?

“First of all, I am NOT perfect,” he started, shaking his head. “Whoever told you that I’ve never gotten in trouble is a fucking liar. My dad is the sheriff. I got off easy. Stealing? All the time. Drugs? Definitely. Fights? Absolutely. Don’t get me started on what happens when I’m with the boys.”

His eyes softened, his laughter fading. Cora tensed.

“Second of all, your past doesn’t define you, Cora. I’ve watched you get better. I’ve watched you put it behind you. And having sex with an adult, as a child, is NOT your fault. You didn’t have the resources I did. Your parents were abusive. Your boyfriend was abusive. None of that is YOUR fault. I will never fault you for doing what you had to do in order to survive.”

He cupped her face again, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Third of all? You’ve already destroyed me.”

Just like that, she knew he was the one.

His lips found hers again, and the universes collided. She knew it was wrong. But she couldn’t find it in her to push him away this time.

They were playing a risky game. But what if- what if they won? What if they played their cards right and they won?

Maybe that was enough to keep them alive.

As soon as the door shut, all the anger that was built up inside of me spilled over. I clenched my fists and glared at my older brother, wishing years of pain and torture on him. The years of pain and torture that I endured when he wasn’t here.

“You don’t get to boss her around when you weren’t even there for most of her life!” I shouted. Michael closed his eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. That made me even more infuriated but I didn’t say anything. What a prick.

“Goddamn, Casey, are you ever going to let that go?” He said tiredly, taking a step towards the desk. I felt the fire lick my veins. How was he so calm right now? Oh right. Because he had the option to walk out on us and he took it. And he didn’t regret it. Why would he? He didn’t have to struggle for years because of it.

“Why should I let that go?” I yelled, trying desperately not to punch him. “I’M the one who had to raise her! I had to raise them all! BECAUSE YOU LEFT!”

Michael slammed his palm on the table, making me jump in surprise. “I’m sorry! What do you want me to say? I was eighteen, Casey, I was still-“

“Don’t you dare!” I jabbed a finger in his face. “Don’t you DARE say you were just a kid. I was thirteen fucking years old. I was thirteen. Allison was only ten, Mallory was six, and Nathan was barely one. I raised them! I raised them and raised the twins as well! I WAS JUST A CHILD!”

“Listen, Casey, I had no idea about the twins-“

“Of course you didn’t because you weren’t there! But I was, Michael! I never walked out like you did! I stayed! I stayed and I paid for it!”

There it was. The voice crack. The hurt. The pain, slowly blossoming out of my chest, consuming me from the inside out, tearing me apart. The tears pricked my eyes as Michael just looked at me, pity in his eyes. God, why was he looking at me like that?

“Casey…” he said quietly. “Casey, where did they hurt you?”

“Fuck off,” I spat, taking a step back. “You don’t get to care anymore. About any of us. I’m happy you’ve let us stay here, but we don’t need you. We haven’t needed you for a long time, Michael.”

“Casey, you can’t leave.”

“Actually, I could.” I shoved my hands in my pockets so he couldn’t see them trembling. “I’m eighteen and I could walk out and never look back. I won’t, though, because they need me. You walked out on them. I won’t do that. I refuse to be like you.”

Michael’s voice was filled with pain. “Casey-“

I opened the door. “Fuck off, Michael. Quit acting like our older brother. You lost the right to that the second you stepped foot out of our front door five years ago.”

I slammed the door shut behind me and crumpled to the ground, years of weight crashing onto my shoulders as I just sobbed. I don’t know how long I just laid there and sobbed, but I did.

Then I wiped my tears and stood back up. My siblings had lost one older brother, and I would be damned if they lost another one.

“There’s no way I’m letting you stay here when he’s acting like that!” I argued, throwing some of his clothes into my bag. “Grab your things. We’ll go to Easton’s. Or somewhere else. Just not here.”

Cam shook his head. “I can’t leave.”

“Bullshit you can’t.” I zipped up my backpack. “You’re 18. You can leave. He can’t stop you.”

He stepped forward, placing a hand on my chest gently, right on my heart. “No, Arian. I can’t leave. You can. You SHOULD. Go to Easton’s. I have to stay here or it’ll just be worse when I get back.”

Why was he so persistent? Why did he want to stay so bad? I looked at him, I really truly looked at him, and saw the pain, the sadness, the absolute and utter defeat lay in his eyes. If I left him here, Travis would hurt him. Break him. Leave him on the floor close to dead, just as he had many times before. Cam would feel worthless again- worthless, broken, and weak. I couldn’t let that happen. It had to stop.

I dropped my bag to the floor. “I’m not leaving unless you are.”

That’s when we heard the glass break downstairs. I flinched, not expecting it, but Cam went into a an anxiety attack. He began to shake, his fingers tugging roughly at his sleeves as he bit his lip.

“Arian,” he finally said, his voice low. “Please go.”

“I’m not-“

“I’m not asking.” He sounded so stern and serious, the complete opposite of what he looked like right now. His face was pale with panic and he gave a nervous gulp, still vigorously twisting the ends of his sleeves.

Travis’s voice began to float down the hall, and there was no mistaking the anger in it. It even scared me- maybe because you could tell he had some alcohol in him. His voice was loud and rough, but you couldn’t quite make out what he was saying just yet. I glanced at Cam’s window. We could leave-go out the window and never turn back. I turned back to Cam, and there were anxious tears in his eyes. I reached for him, and he allowed me to gently grip his forearms with my hands.

“Cam,” I begged, knowing that once Travis reached this room, we were both in big trouble. I knew better than to try and fight him, he was much bigger than me. I would lose and Cam would take the fallout. “Please. I have my car, we could jump out the window and head somewhere far away from him, and he never has to hurt you ever again.”

Cam blinked a couple times, clearly trying not to let the tears spill over. I felt my heart break for him again. “Babe, you’re not listening to me. If I leave, it’ll be worse when I come back.”

“Then don’t come back!” I pleaded. “We can find some place to go- if you think I’m just going to sit back and let him beat the shit out of you, you’re out of your goddamn mind.”

Thudding footsteps. “Camden! You in your room, boy?”

Cam’s eyes hardened as he pushed me. “Go.”

“Absolutely not-“

“Go!” Another shove, this time to the chest. I stumbled. My boyfriend looked at his door and back at me. “Go, Arian! Go! I will never forgive you if you stay.”

I planted my feet. “I will never forgive you if you push me away when you need my help.”

Travis was close now, but you could hear him stumbling drunkenly through the hall. Cam looked at me, tears in his eyes, before he leaned over and kissed me. I was shocked and caught off-guard, but by the time I had regained myself, he had pulled away. A tear fell down his face.

“I guess you’ll never forgive me, then.”

Cam opened his door and shot out, slamming it shut behind him. I raced forwards, my hand on the doorknob as I heard the lock click. My heart thudded straight to my stomach.

“Cam!” I yelled, banging my palm against the door. “Camden! Open the door!”

All I heard as an answer was Travis yelling, “There you are, you worthless piece of shit!”

I tried the knob again to no avail. My mind filled with panic as I started to hear noises outside- the sound of Travis beating my defenseless boyfriend. There was no way in hell I was going to let this happen. I dove for my backpack, thinking I’d grab my phone- before remembering that I had left it in the car when I ran back inside for Cam.

I heard a whimper and tears began to cascade down my face. What was I supposed to do? I felt so fucking helpless, so fucking useless-

The window. His window was unlocked.

I have never moved faster in my entire life. With speed I didn’t know I had, I opened the window and jumped out of it, immediately noticing that Ben and their dad were outside spraying off their car. The sense of relief that I felt for one hot, flashing moment as I ran over.

“Ben!” I yelled. Ben looked up, frightened, as I ran into their driveway. I had to look absolutely deranged in their eyes.

“Arian?” Ben’s dad said, turning off the hose and straightening to look at me. “Are you okay-?”

I hastily wiped my face of tears and pointed back towards Cam’s house. “You gotta help me. Travis- Travis and Cam-“

I hated how I stuttered, but my brain was moving ten times faster than my mouth could.

Thankfully, Ben understood immediately. “I’ll call the cops. You stay here. Don’t do anything stupid. Dad, come on, I’ll explain inside.”

I immediately disregarded what he said, because I wasn’t leaving Cam inside that house with that monster. The second their front door shut, I bounded back to Cam’s house, bursting my way through the unlocked front door.

It was way too quiet. Why was it so quiet?

I ran towards the kitchen, vaguely noticing the back door was open, but I wasn’t too worried about that right now. There was no noise. Was Cam okay? Where was he?

I turned into the hallway.

I screamed.

My boyfriend was still here- but in a puddle of blood. I raced over, not caring about the blood getting on my shoes and pants and I lifted his head up into my lap, my other hand frantically looking for a pulse in his wrist.

“Cam?” I sobbed. “Cam, please wake up, please answer me.”

Nothing. There was nothing. I didn’t even know what I was doing anymore. My throat was too clogged, my vision was too blurry, my mind was running in too many directions.

“Please, please, please,” I begged. “Please wake up. Please talk to me. Please, baby, please.”

I slumped over his limp form.

“Please, baby. I love you. Please wake up for me.”

It was finally too much. Too much to keep bottled inside. Too much to keep lying about. I had to tell him. I had to tell him before he walked away-

“I LOVE YOU.”

Lyndon froze, his back going rigid as he stood up straighter. I swallowed my pride, knowing that I had to say something now, or I was never going to say it.

“I love you,” I repeated, silently begging him to turn around and look at me. “As more than friends. I have since middle school, you know? Since we started talking all the time and I found out that you liked My Chemical Romance.”

The joke didn’t land. He didn’t turn around. I twisted the end of my shirt between my fingers. Was this a bad idea? Probably. Did I care at the moment…probably.

“Lyndon, please turn around,” I pleaded once I was met with silence. “Please say something.”

Looking back, I wish I hadn’t asked him that. I wish I had just let him walk away from me. I wish I had just suffered in silence.

It would’ve hurt a lot less.

He did turn around, but he looked sad, almost sympathetic, for me. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes trained on the ground.

“Chia…” he said slowly, and my heart thudded to the bottom of my stomach. I knew that tone. I knew it all too well.

He was going to tell me something he knew was going to be hard for me to process.

I wasn’t ready.

“Please,” I begged. What was I begging for, exactly? For him to love me like I loved him? Or for him to let me down gently?

He just shook his head, his blonde hair swinging. “I’m sorry.”

“Please.” I took a step towards him, but he took another step away from me. “Please don’t break me like that. Please.”

“Chia, don’t do this to me.”

But I’ve already started. How do I stop? He is ripping me apart. Piece by piece. Bit by bit.

“Don’t do this to ME!” The tears prick the back of my eyes as I tried to hold myself together. “All you’re going to say is ‘I’m sorry’? That’s it? That’s all I get?”

He scuffs the ground once with his shoe. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Everything. I want you to tell me that you love me back.

One can only wish. But wishes don’t come true.

“Anything but ‘I’m sorry’!”

“Fine!” He throws his hands up, his blue eyes finally making their way to mine. “Fine! You want something else? How about, ‘Chia, I only love you as a friend’. Is that what you wanted?”

And just like that, he broke me into a thousand pieces, shattered in the grass, burning in the sunlight. Just like that, I fell apart, righr in front of him, and he didn’t care. I know he didn’t care.

Just like that, I stopped feeling. I stood frozen. I don’t know how long I stood there. All I know is that Lyndon left me, saying something about going home once I quit responding to his outburst. I stood there until the sun was close to setting and I knew my mother would be making dinner around this time. I stood there, like a statue, frozen, but I couldn’t be a statue, because I was broken, littered on the ground.

This time, I don’t think I could ever be put back together again.

I guess that’s what happens when you try to love your best friend.

Sometimes monsters don’t live underneath the bed. They don’t live underneath the stairs, or in the closet. Sometimes, they live inside of us. They grow inside your heart and fester, much like a virus, and imbed themselves into your brain until you are the monster, and you’ve lost your true self.

At that point, are you better off alive or dead?

It didn’t matter. Right now it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing ever mattered. Not when there was a monster inside of you.

Today, I was going to get it out. I didn’t want it anymore. I was tired of being numb and hateful. I was tired of hurting people. I was tired- so tired.

The blade of the razor hurt like hell, but I kept going. I didn’t want whatever it was inside of me anymore. I hated how cold it had made me. I hated how I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Ten years ago I was happy- but now, now I didn’t know what I was. If I was real or if I was fake. I didn’t know if I was worthy of love or I deserved everything that came my way.

One slash for my brothers. One slash for my friends. One slash for my boyfriend. One slash for me.

One, two, three, four- My blood is dripping on the floor.

I don’t care. I don’t care anymore.

Tears fill my vision. It hurts- it hurts a lot. But that means it’s working. That means the monster is escaping me. That means I am almost free. That means I’m starting to feel- the numbness is slowly ebbing away from me.

Five, six, seven, eight- I can no longer see straight.

Am I even still cutting anymore? I just feel dizzy. But I’m feeling. Oh my god, I am FEELING.

Yet my arms, the floor, they are painted in my blood. But it’s mine. It’s not the monster’s

I feel so light. I think my head is on the floor now. Is that sunshine? Have I done it? Is the monster gone? Have I finally made it to Heaven?

Am I finally free?

I’m not in pain anymore. I’m not in pain anymore. I’m not…in pain anymore. I’m not…in pain…anymore. I’m…not…in pain…anymore. I’m…not…in…pain……

“Cam, please,” Arian begged. “Please don’t fight us. I just need you to be okay.”

The smaller boy jerked his head, taking another step towards the ledge. “I’ll jump! I will!”

Everyone believed him. How could they not? Cam had already tried to end his life once- what stopped him from trying again?

Oh. Arian had.

The battle with Cam’s mental health had been a struggle for years now. Arian had bore the brunt of it- always checking in, always pushing Cam to seek therapy or to talk to him. For a while, it seemed as though the blonde boy had taken Arian’s advice- until it got bad again.

This time, Arian knew he couldn’t do it alone. So he recruited their friends to help him get Cam into a mental hospital . It hadn’t worked out in his favor.

Now Arian was close to tears, his hands shaking as he got down on both knees, his heart pounding in his ears. “Camden, please.”

Cam was shaking worse than Arian, but he held his ground. “I’m not going.”

“Then you don’t have to.” Arian nodded, just looking for any way out at this point. “I won’t make you. Just please- don’t jump.”

“You’re lying!”

Arian shook his head. “I’m not. I promise.”

Everything seemed to stand still. The other three boys stood way back, too scared to move forward in fear that Cam would actually jump. The world seemed frozen, not even the wind was blowing- and it seemed like slow motion when Cam finally did take a step.

A step backwards.

Someone screamed. Maybe it was Arian. All he knew was that he shot forward, an arm outstretched towards the ledge. Someone tackled his waist, preventing him from moving any further. His throat hurt- maybe he was screaming. But his ears couldn’t register what he was saying. He was just screaming.

Cam wouldn’t- he wouldn’t leave him like that.

Yet he had.

It was finally then when Arian’s brain caught up to what his mouth was saying.

“Don’t leave me!”