I grabbed onto Claire’s back and pulled her closer to me as I smacked my lips onto hers. I could feel the smile being formed beneath my lips before her tongue swooped in between my teeth and settled in my mouth. I laughed and we sunk further into each other’s arms, the rest of the world fading away. I grabbed onto her shoulders knowing what had to be done had to be done and there was no more pushing it off. I moved my hands from her back and up to her shoulders before giving her a gentle push backward. At first her fingers dug beneath my shirt not wanting to break apart but than when she saw the look in my eyes she pulled back. “What?” “I have something to tell you.” I said. My voice had confidence. If I thought that Claire was in love with me now wait till she found out I was a superhero with super speed and strength. I would blow her world over. There was nothing to be nervous about and pushing off this moment had been pointless, this was every girls dream. “I’m falcon.” “Huh?” Claire’s eyebrows drew up in confusion. “Gregory?” “You heard me. I’m falcon, bringer of justice and hero of earth!” I put my hand on my waist to strike my famous superhero pose but Claire only doubled over in laughter. “You, Gregory Smith who can’t even open up a pickle jar is the falcon? sorry baby but that’s too much!” She belly shook with laughter and a tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m not kidding!” I protested “watch” In a swift movement I was across the park grabbing a bike off the floor and back with it in one hand. Than I proceeded to bend the metal bike in half until it was completely folded over. “See!! Now do you believe me? You have a superhero boyfriend!” I smiled. I leaned in to kiss Claire knowing she would be so excited. I had saved the world on several occasions. But her lips never touched mine. “WHAT?!” She screamed. “Who are you?” “Claire? It’s me Gregory” I said confused. “No! No! See Gregory wouldn’t lie to me!! But you’re no Gregory, and you’re no falcon, you a coward. A big phony!” “Claire!” What was happening? She was backing up, there was fear in her eyes, this wasn’t supposed to go this way. “Your not the man I fell in love with! Your a liar!” She cried. She looked down at the bike with disgust. “This is all a lie. And I want nothing to do with it.” Than she was backing up more and more with terror and confusion. I tried to grab her hand but she pulled them away it out of my grip. “Claire?” “Your no hero. I don’t know you.” Than she turned and ran. I stood there in silence watching her back fleeing in the distance. What just happened?

There are those that are thick Everything bounces off them Like a brick wall There are those that are dark Filled with mysteries And secrets There are those that are hard who can be aggressive Or compulsive There are those that are soft Kind hearted And filled with warmth Than there are the transparent The clear ones They blend in Do anything not to stand out In order to blend in With the rest Though they are clear Almost invisible They have the power To be all.

He was a beautiful sculpture of perfection. His skin clung to his bones carving out picture perfect cheekbones. His eyes were big and blue. His lips were full, totally kissable. His lashes were long and perfect jet black like the wavy thick hair on his head. He was broad with muscles seeable from beneath his shirt. He was perfection. But he didn’t Know I existed.

The first time I laid my eyes on Shawn Harper I was seven. I was watching the sun set from my window captivated by its beauty when a little boy walked by my house skateboard in hand with bruised knees; he was more beautiful than the sunset. From that moment on I was transfixed by the mysterious boy who walked by my house every day. He didn’t go to my school nor did he live on my block. He was a virtual stranger, but I never wanted to know someone more Badly. The cycle continued. Day after day we would come down my block skateboard in hand. I was always there watching from the window, capturing his every move and making my own psychology interpretations of him. Shawn hated collared and button down shirts, the one time he wore one he was scratching all the way down the block. He only wore brand name sneakers and was always carrying a skateboard. He had dimples when he smiled and he refused to upgrade his phone from and iPhone 5. He didn’t have Instagram or tik tok (I know because I picture searched him) he was virtually unknown. Than one day early October I decided to follow the gorgeous boy to see where he went on his walks each day. I waited at my usual position at the window and watched as he walked by. Than when I was sure he was far enough not to see me but close enough I wouldn’t lose him I slipped out of my house. I followed him down several blocks to the park. Prospect park. I watched his face light up as he walked up toward a bunch of other guys holding skateboards. They slammed their hands into each other’s and patted each other on the back in the unusual male greeting. I heard one of the boys say Shawn Harper. That was his name, it was just as beautiful as his face. I tested it out on my tongue and giggled from behind the trees. Shawn Harper. Shawn Harper. Shawn. Harper. I think I was falling for this boy. Years went by. All my friends new of my secret obsession with the boy who went down my block every day with his skateboard. It was always half past five when he would come, he had enough confidence to hold up the world. I could feel it all the way up from my window. Every day was the same schedule, for years nothing changed. Until the day he looked up, and saw me staring through the window.

I lick my lips for the fourth time as I grab onto the skin beneath my skin and pull. The skin moves with my grip and pinches together hard and tight. I can almost hear the nerves in my fingers screaming as I sink my nails deeper and deeper. She’s here. She is standing in the same room as me right now this very second. Most would assume she’s just another face with regular calm feature with a button shaped nose and small dry lips. But she’s no ordinary human. She’s the reason for my destruction, for my pain, for everything. And where my proof? It’s on her left finger.

The diamond on her ring is big, much bigger than mine was when Alfred got down on one knee in front of me. It’s clearly more expensive and easier to see from a mile away. She took him from me. She stole him from my grip when I had him. We were going to spend the rest of our lives together but she took him from me. I feel the blood escaping my fingers and I gently put my hands to my side the blood covering the sides of my clothes, staining them with it’s red liquid. I breathe in and out deciding not to jump the women and strangle her to till I see the air leave her lungs and the life leave her eyes. Of course this was a beautiful thought, but I told the voice to go away, I wasn’t going to kill her, I was just going to make her wish I had.

“You said you were fine” “Okay, so maybe I lied” “You think?! I can’t even believe this right now! I thought we were friends!” “We are.” “Oh really? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way right now” “Why? Because I’ve been hiding my feelings lately?” “Yes! You come into the room smiling and laughing and giggling like the world is just one big roller coaster and you’re in it for the ride. Turns out on the inside your as rotten as an old apple and you keep rotting and rotting because you won’t let anyone know how you feel!!” “Whoa! Calm down!” “No! This isn’t healthy” “Don’t talk to me about healthy. I know what’s wrong with me and I’m dealing with it” “Internally. That’s not called dealing” “Augh!! I’m fine!” “Here we go again”

Currency is life, it’s as simple as that. Without the cash flowing into the system there would be nothing to stand on. No one would work for free or bother helping society in any way. It’s all about the money. Been like that for thousands of years. The value of money though is even high than its worth. Time. Time is the price of money. You work and work and work hours in a day and for your time you are paid. Time is money. Money is time. Life is time. So if all we have in life is time than why do we give it up for money? Because without the money there’s no point in life. See? Doesn’t make sense. The system hasn’t changed, it never will. I hate it. I hate watching the crooks steal money from others. They kill people for it, hurt them. My job is to capture the crooks. I’m an investigator. My job is to get rid of those trying to mess up the money system. The thing is we forget that time is worth more than money, we forget money has no value but the power we give it. And yet people exist for it instead of it existing for them. It’s all become backwards. It’s been like this for centuries And I don’t know how to stop it.

I keep my head underwater Watching the bubbles rise above me My hair dancing around me The water gets thicker It clogs my throat And fills my nostrils I let my body loose Let my legs stop fighting My arms stop flailing I let myself sink further into the depth Of the water My throat tightens My body wanting air I try to break to the surface But the monster inside me Won’t let Me go I stop moving Listening only to the sound of waves Surrounding me And I’m uncertain If I should break free Or let go

When you open your mouth To spill the secrets Hidden beneath your tongue They can be backlashed Turned against you Stabbed With a knife Through the words You have said If you try to pick them up The pieces You won’t be able to mend What has been broken Because they didn’t respect you To treasure your words You had spoken To hold them close Like a warm blanket On a cold night They made it broken That which was a secret Be careful out there.

I wish Life was as simple As knowing who are your friends Knowing who to trust Who to spill you secrets And inner thoughts But it’s not You tell them They listen Fill their curiosity Than they move on befriend other people Laugh with them In front of your face Till you want to sob And run Than you befriend someone knew But the cycle repeats Again And again. Because some wishes, Just can’t come true

Ever look back at the day The anger Sadness Frustration It’s piling up in your head Like a heavy storm Clouding your mind Fogging your thoughts Until all the walls your holding up Come pouring down In the rain.

At first your drenched Regret Annoyance But than you look up All you see are dark clouds Shaped as faces The thunder crackles It’s the sound of your voice Screaming Shouting

Lightning pierces the sky The world is lit up But only for a second Everything becomes clear But than it gets dark again And your left Retracing your steps

The water beneath your feet It’s rising Threatening to drown you Wash you away Until you’re lost

The sound of thunder comes again It shakes the ground Your foundation Until the water trembles And your knees wobble

You fall to the ground Covered in rain Drenched in loathing Coughing for air Your hands shake As they slowly move up Desperate Wanting Someone to save you.