Desoleil - loyle carner ft sampha
Back, aye, nobody thought I was leaving, Caught with the grieving was taught to mislead him when all I’ve been caught in the seasons, ... Trust , aye, Ain’t looking for the reason, thoughts still with me when I’m sleepin and struggling with breathing insomnia does creep in, Cz I know it’s you, and I ain’t screaming treason but I do really wanna just forget for a weekend, so I can have a smile on my face for a second, and a good nights sleep cz my brain needs resetting, at the moment it’s overheating hasn’t had a rest in weeks, been trying mediation, and self medicating with the green, but red is the only colour that I ever see it’s just getting worse and I just wanna break free, free from this chain that you’re still holding over me, Free from regrets hear your ghostly words still speak, free from this pain I can’t take another day, free from this bed where sleepless I still lay
I can’t do it anymore, I can’t take another day Crystallised by your pressure if tryna mould me into shape. When our endeavour to forever does get measured by the treasure open up my chest and find my heart attached by a tether The past 6 months I’ve been hypnotised, you know I can’t say no to those big crystal eyes, what we had at the beginning may have seemed like paradise but now we’re hanging in the balance every time we fight. Me and you have ran our course, and it’s time to break up, Not the decision that I wanted but the one that I must, Take to keep me sane this Is life not a game and I’m feeling like I’m stood atop an 80 ft crane, Been laying these foundations since the very beginning, don’t you dare try and claim this was an easy decision, went and asked a physician, he said were so close to splitting that if we don’t separate there’ll be nuclear fission
Coffees steaming hot, another day does begin. Look out the window clear skies no rain to be seen, but the streets are filled with umbrellas, held up by those protesting. Extradition to the mainland, where the innocent will never win, guilty or not the outcomes still the same, locked in a cell and the key gets thrown away. Only way out is if you play their little game, no ordinary jigsaw, sanities the price you pay
The party was kicking, drinks were slippin, green smoke in the air I think somebody’s been spliffin But I was mid tripping, colours were glistening, stumbling around, climbed up the stairs by the kitchen. Clattering around the corridor, looking for my mate whoed gone missing, hand attracted to the doorknob like a magnetic mitton, turnered the handle, room was empty And i still couldn’t see him, but I see red patterns splattered on the floor, like A Picasso depiction, And the colours started climbing up the wall and onto the ceiling, and on the closet door handprints looked they were reaching, towards my face straight down my tunnel vision, And my body starting lifting up, and next thing without thinking, I was swinging open the closet and was expecting to see him, and a body thudded to the floor lifelessles and not breathing lent down and checked the pulse and the heart wasn’t beating, but it wasn’t my buddy, instead the body of Tommy, a kid from the year below, recognised Him from the glow of his crown, Tommy was bald from head to toe I started choking, What the fuck am I supposed to do couldn’t handle this moment , I’m way too fucked right now to be dealing with this shit, and outta know where my friend Andrew came bursting in, laughing “Jim what have you done, I can’t believe what I’m seeing, I didn’t expect this from you , man you’re going straight to prison ” I’m like “Andrew what do you mean, I just walked in, this had already happened before I was even here” and I’m standing there confused, the room was still spinning, did I do this you gotta be kidding, my mind was trying play tricks but I knew I was inocent, there’s no way I’d be involved in a killing , tripping or not I’m just a happy human being. And I sense something not right about the situation, something in the air, could actually feel theis kinda tension, of Andrews body shaking, airwaves were vibrating, visibly impatient but a smile on his face could not be mistaken, and he pulled his hands out his pockets and without hesitation shouted catch and threw something in my general direction, and Im a pride man, and I didnt understand his intention, And I haven’t made a drop since 2011, so I reached out and caught the ufo reflexes of an alien , and Andrew started laughing Cz it was all making sense to him, and he raised his hands up and I saw something was wrong with them, I couldn’t see no skin from his fingers to thumb, Rubber gloves stretching out across his whole palm, and I looked down slowly with a troubling stare, and a blood stained axe was the arm that I bared . I was caught red handed with the murder weapon there, but what was really happening Outside my alternate reality was that I was holding a paint brush standing above a mannequin
I remember the night so vividly it was almost like a dream, awoken from my slumber to see eyes staring back at me. From a holographic figure floating under the ceiling, dressed like the jack of spades thought that this was my last evening.
On this beautiful world, I did the only thing that seemed logical, I buried my head deep under my covers creating an unbreachable obstacle, of cotton and feathers surely no one could get through, locked away in my fort, I was safe from the ghoul
What seemed like hours later, I decided to take a lil peep, because I knew that if that thing was still around i wasn’t getting any sleep, but the ghost had vanished never to be seen again, but his presence was always there, I wish we’d met again
Because as I’ve grown older, I realised I aint afraid of no ghost My biggest regret is hiding, wish that I’d spoke, we get this built in fear programmed from tv shows , when in reality they just want a friend because they’re cursed to be alone
