“Welcome, welcome all to the philosopher of the year speech, and this year’s philosopher is John Marsten!” The crowd applauds as I walk on the stage. I feel prepared and proud of my work to be given this opportunity. “Thank you,” I attempt to quiet down the crowd, “Thank you.” “I appreciate you all voting in this years awards and making me your philosopher of the year.” A few people clap and once finished, I begin to start my speech, which is what won me the title, The Meaning Of Life. I begin to feel very ill, though, and fall backwards into another state

 I feel my body slip forwards as the bright lights blind me. I’m on a stage in front of what looks to be a thousand people.
 “What..” I let out a gasp but stop myself

I hear someone from my in-ear telling me it’s time to say my speech. I’m very confused as to why i’m here and how it came to be. I see posters on the walls of the auditorium saying “Philosopher Of The Year.” I look at my hands and notice I’m a whole different person. I feel my body physically more heavier then usual, and notice i’m in someone else’s body. “Sir, are you ready?” I was snapped out of my trance as I looked at the crowd “Yes.” I zipped down my jeans and let my penis unravel itself, the crowd gasping but abruptly changing to happiness from the women. “HELL YEAH BABY,” someone screams from the crowd. Everyone proceeds to pull their pants down, men jerking their penises and women fingering their pussy. “The person with the most cum or squirt wins $1000 dollars!” “3” “2” “1” “GO!” The auditorium is filled with grunts and moans as everyone try’s to win the competition. I start to slowly pleasure myself 5 minutes later, we all decide to finish together in 20 seconds. I go quicker and work on my rythm to make it more steady “Are you all ready?” I say, laying down with my ass in the air so everyone can see my glory hole. We all release our fluid as the crowd and me is covered in a thick layer of urine, discharge, period blood, and sperm “We did it!”

THE END

The eight wonder of the world should be costco, specifically the one in Mooresville, NC. Thank you.

I look at my house, well now old house, and I take a glimpse in my brain at all the memories that occurred here. I’ve gone broke. I can’t afford to live in my own place so now i have to live in a group home, sleep with other people, and i won’t have any privacy. I look down at my hand, one last chance to feel good. I open my drawer for the last time and see the red spectacular. My rose toy. I can’t bring her to the group home so she has to stay here. My dear esmeralda, my dear beauty, my baby, my joy, she’s given me so many good orgasms and such great times. I open my legs and let the rose take its action.

Now, my mom walks in and hears me screaming, “Don’t stop get it get it” and she says, “BABY!! DONT YOU SEE YOUR HURTING THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU THE MOST?” And i reply “Yeah i do but hold on i’m- uh almost AHHH finished AHHHHHHHHH” I let out my juices and see my moms face drop in horror. She screams and leaves the room. “LEAVE THIS FAMILY!!! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN.” I felt a little sad but now i can use my toy all the time!

My rose toy and me can stay together. My dear rose.

Love, Esmerelda

He looked at me with sincerity and replied, “I’ve never seen that in my life” “Stop playing games with me and answer the damn question. We have security footage of you securing the bag. Explain.” His eyes gazed over the bag, a little bit of fear slipping out from beneath him. That told me all I needed to know. I’ve been working in this place for 20 years, detective for 15, and i always know when someone’s lying, but this one, he fought hard, but in the end he failed. Guess the PhD in psychology helped. “I seriously have no clue what that bags about!” I pulled him up out of his chair and grasped on to his chest, hitting him against the wall. My breath was burning in anger above him. “Last try, or you can keep being a little bitch, your choice,” I said. In my in-ear, i was told to calm it, but this dude wasn’t gonna talk without a bit of action. Instead of what i thought would happen, he laughed in my face, a cruel, grueling laugh and said, “We aren’t in a gay porno, dude, chill out.” I released him and guided him back to the chair. “You gonna fess up or keep playing round?” I looked at him in the eye, attempting some intimidation, but just a minute ago, that obviously didn’t work. He opened his mouth to speak but seemed like he had no air. He breathed and said, “May I call my lawyer?” I sighed and gave the officer the cue to lead him out.