Salt, salt is all I taste as water fills my mouth. Salt, as water fills my lungs. Fire is all I smell as water fills my nose. Burning, pain as it forces its way up my nose. Cold is all I feel, freezing unyielding cold. Cold crushing my body. So cold I feel nothing. All I see is complete and total black. Dark, so dark I can’t tell if my eyes are closed or open. Yet I can still see the movements of terrifying things around me. Roaring rushing so loud in my ear. Rushing, roaring, moving, water. Pulling, yanking, dragging me down. Moving down, down, down, but is it down or is it up. Which way am I facing, moving I can no longer tell. Everything is melting together, salt, fire, cold, darkness, rushing, roaring, moving, down up, left, right. Then silence, stillness, no cold, no salt, no pain, just the deep.
The only thing I can see is the figure in front of me, a girl, her hair is so long, I wish my hair was like that. I don’t know why I’m following her, it seems wrong, whispers like the wind. Whispers of sweets, whispers of a bed, whispers of food, whispers of love. Promising whispers if I only follow her. My foot crunches on the soft ground, I look to where her feet should be, is she floating? Whispers, whispers of care, whispers of warmth, if I only follow her. Her long, pretty hair, hair that falls to the middle of her dress. Her dress is long and flowy, the sleeves reach all the way down to her hand, and her nails are long, almost like blades. Whispers, whispers of cute animals, whispers of toys, if I only follow her. My feet hurt, how long have I been walking? Whispers, whispers of nice shoes, whispers of comfort, if I only follow her. Whispers and whispers, whispers and more whispers, promising things that will never come. Not for this poor girl not for the next, not for anyone who follows the whispers.
Her eyes are heavy as she stares out the window into the cold snowy front lawn. Her eyes drift closed, she looks peaceful, almost asleep. There’s a thump from the roof, he’s here. The girls eyes shoot open, she walks slowly to her bedroom door. Another thump this time from the living room. “Santa” she gasps She flings the door open, running down the stairs, she turns the corner and stops dead in her tracks. “Not Santa” she whispers The horrible grayish green skin, razor sharp teeth, thin wiry arms that end in claws sharp as knives, red eyes like a demon glowing in the dark. The girl screams and turns to run back up the stairs to the safety of her bed, climbing under the covers she closes her eyes and wishes the nightmare away. Her door creeks, scratching sounds on her floor board closer and closer to her bed. It stops, she looks up from under her covers to his face inches from hers. Claws grab her ankle, her scream piercing through the night. When her parents get to her room all they find is an empty bed and foot prints of soot.
“I’ll give you 2 minutes to ask any questions you want before you die.” I tell the the girl Abby Decker age 17, blonde, 5’6, blue eyes, pretty face. “Tik tok Abby” “ how do you know my name?” Panic lacing her voice “I’ve been watching you of course” “For how long?” “A couple years” “Why?” “I’ve been waiting for this day” “What’s gonna happen to me?” Her voice cracks and tears start to pour from her eyes “Your going to be the first in a long string of murders” “Wh-“ “Uh uh your time is up, better run!” Abby turns around and runs up the street just as I knew she would, going exactly where I want her.
It starts again, life, friendships, jobs, relationships, pain, fire, death. Life starts over like it does every time. Sitting in a deep dark hole in a head that isn’t mine anymore. I begged for my life, I begged not to die. Face to face with satan himself, I begged. He gave me “mercy”, that’s what he told me, what he keeps telling me. But this is worse than any fate hell could have bestowed upon me. Begged not to die, he gave me “life” in exchange for my soul. Every horrifying, horrible, disgusting event was my fault, our fault. Every event we have been behind, whispering to people in the shadows, altering the course of history. Making sure everything goes his way. My body his vessel to walk like humans, talk like humans, but nothing about us is actually human. Lucifer himself influencing every horrible event. Killing as many people as he can, so he has more fun in the afterlife. All I feel is pain, I have no control, I sold my soul. I don’t even know what I look like cause all I see is the devil. I can only watch in horror as we commit horrific acts, as we cause horrible events. As we kill for power, as we lie for power, rip it from whoever we can, claw to the top. Only to hide in the shadows and influence the villains of the story. Never stoped by death, we have died a hundred times, painful horrible deaths. Just to be brought back to do it all again. Every time I look in the mirror all I see are the red glowing eyes of satan who controls my soul.
Regret, grief, horror, all the things I feel look down the dock. This is the first time the cops have left the dock since the murder happened. Watching waiting for the murder to kill again. I haven’t been able to come here in months, but they say it’s safe now. My brother was the last victim, I wanted to visit. I walk toward the ladder, I feel the my body weighing me down, like kicking, pulling, resisting. I can’t hear anything, there’s a loud screaming in my head, yelling at me to stop, turn back. I keep pulling against the weight, I throw myself into the water, this is where they found every body the last year. I think of my brother, my hands shake in the water, it seems like the water is alive thrashing around me. As I think of my brother, my hands steady, the screaming stops, the pulling slows, the water calms. I gaze into the water and my eyes meet cold empty eyes of the dead. My hands loosen from around his neck, I drag his cold dead body onto the deck. The sea has claimed another.
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop it “I love you.” It feels like all my blood is rushing to my head, waiting for his response. His face is flushed, is he blushing? “I…I love you too….but as a friend.” Not blushing embarrassed, now I’m embarrassed. God I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut. Welp there goes that friendship.
I was sitting in the principals office with John H. He was making fun of me, so I snapped back, something along the lines of his big fat nose. He punched me so I punched back and now we’re here. He was rambling on about how I was so mean to insult him and blah blah blah. I knew everything was gonna be okay, he would get in trouble and I wouldn’t cause he was wrong. The principle asked for my story, I told him everything. Then Johns parents showed up they yelled and yelled about what a horrible little girl I am, and that I better get suspended or expelled for hurting there little boy. I knew that wouldn’t happen cause John was wrong. The principal looked at me and gave me a weeks suspension for insulting and fighting with another kid. I looked sad and shocked that I was in trouble at all, but it might be fair I did punch him. Then John and his parents just left, no suspension, or detention. Nothing. I was raging it took all my will power to walk out of that room without yelling at the principal. That was the first time I realized that the world isn’t fair.
December 28 Dear diary, my life is amazing. I got everything I wanted for Christmas, my parents love me, my boyfriends great. Life is great. We’re going to grandmas for the new year. I miss her and can’t wait!
December 29 We got to grandmas a few hours ago. It’s been so fun! We played board games, and everyone’s coming over on New Year’s Eve to hang out it will be our best party yet!
December 30 My uncle just got here he’s leaving on the first. But my cousin Kyle is here too he’s 3 and adorable. My parents spent the whole day with me today. I love them so much there the best parents ever.
December 31 / January 1 The party just ended. I have never had more fun! I have never seen my parents more in love. Of course they always seem in love, but to tonight they announced I’m gonna have a little sister! I can’t wait I already started brainstorming names! I’ll update you later.
January 2 We just got home. We hit a lot of traffic, it sucked, but glad to be home. Mom and dad have their first doctor appointment tomorrow, there gonna be gone all day. I’ll miss them but they should be home when I get back from school.
January 3 4:30 pm Mom and dad should have been home an hour ago, I tried calling them so many times and there not picking up. I’m really worried.
5:00 pm Their still not home, I called my aunt who lives a town away, she said not to worry the appointment probably ran over and there phones are off. She’s probably right, no need to worry.
6:03 pm I called the cops. I was too worried not to, they said they can’t do anything till they’ve been missing 24 hours. But they will call hospitals in the area in case something like that happened.
9:24 pm I got a visit from the cops. One showed up on my door, he said they found them. There in an intensive care unit at the hospital 3 hours away. They need my mom needs a special doctor and that had the closest one. The cop is giving me a ride there now. I can’t breathe.
January 24 This is the last time I’m writing in. Today is the funeral, the funeral for my parents and my sister Abigail. That was the name I suggested the night I found out they were having a baby. I got to name her. Idk if anyone will ever read this but, please love what you have before it’s gone.
The Landlord Emily hands me the keys to my new flat. "Rents due last Friday every month," She said as she walked away. I opened the door to my flat, all my things only took one trip to bring in. The flat came fully furnished. I quickly made dinner, in a hurry to sleep. I have to wake up early for my first day at work. Who knew moving across the country would be so exhausting? I change and head to bed, just as I'm on the cusp of sleep. The loudest noise ever comes from directly above. It sounds like a table or a chair being dragged across the floor. I lay there staring at the ceiling hoping it remains quiet. I relax a little as minutes pass and it remains silent, I'm about to drift off to sleep again when I hear voices murmuring. The murmuring lasts for what feels like hours. I can't make out what they're saying. Then they grow louder and I'm able to make out a word here or there. Bank.....Roof...... guard..........cops.......guns...... security. Those words string a chord with me. They're planning a robbery....or something.
I was outside the flat that the talking was coming from. I could hear everything now. There were 2 males and 1 female, it sounded like. The 2 men were currently fighting. "We can't go in that way peter!" "Yes, we can! We enter here-" "No the GUARDS will be there with GUNS" It was quiet for a second then "I don't know what to do then" peter whispered so quietly I could barely hear it. I came up here to see what they were up to, maybe see if I could turn them over to the police for a reward, but it's clear they have no clue what they're doing. Probably get caught within five seconds. I hear them start talking again but I'm not paying attention to what they're saying I just want to sleep. I stand up and start tip-toeing down the hall. All I'm thinking about is how tired I'm gonna be on my first day at work, and how I wasted my time with this. I step on a creaky floorboard, I hope they were still talking and didn't hear it. The room is dead silent, I don't hear anything. I bolt, down the hall towards the stairs, the elevator would take too long. I hear the door open, just as I reach the stair door I get trapped by the back of my shirt, I swing and connect with what I can only assume is a head. They drop me I yank open the door, and I hear a gun cock. "Don't move" the female says. I freeze, and I feel the cold barrel of a gun on the back of my head. "You ok," the female asks the guy who was holding me "yeah, give me the gun" I feel a burst of pain in the back of my head, and the world goes black.
I wake to more yelling. I don't care what they're saying this time. The throbbing in the back of my head is getting all my attention. My eyes pop open, and I notice the construction plans for a huge building, the plans drawn there tell me they won't make it five steps into that building. And that I'm fine, they're not going to kill me. "What's your name?" peter asks "Which one?" "What do you mean?" the female chimes in "Nothing" I reply "What were you doing outside the hall?" the other guy asks "Just taking a walk" "Why did you run?" "You started chasing me" They look at each other and walk to the other side of the room, they're whispering about something. "You need help" I announce to the room "What" "You won't get five steps inside" "How would you know?" "I've done this too many times to count, you want to succeed you need me." "What do we do first?" "Sleep" "
