My husband put his arm around me, holding me close, trying to calm my nerves. As we waited for the doctor to come in with the results that could change our lives. The door clicked as it opened when the doctor walked in. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” he apologized. “The amnio shows the baby is perfectly healthy. No abnormalities. “ “But the bloodtest?” I started. “Those tests are not 100% accurate and usually need further testing for a diagnosis, “ he explained. My husband and I looked at eachother, then melted into eachothers arms. Finally we could let go of all the worry of the last several days. We could enjoy this pregnancy again. We thanked the doctor and went home. We were so grateful. Smiles on our faces for the entire ride home. I was so happy! Full of love and excitement for our future.

I can feel her as she moves around inside me. For months I’ve felt her. We were so excited when we found out we were going to be parents!
It is almost time for her to leave my body and the safety within it. I’m not ready for this to be over. Im not ready to let her go. Right now, she is alive! But as soon as she is born, she wont be. We found out at 23 weeks she didnt have everything she needed to survive. Parts of her did not form as they should have. Part of her brain is missing and most of her organs stopped developing. Right now, she can use mine. But soon, she cant. I dont want to push. Please dont make me! Let her stay with me just a little bit longer! Let me feel her for another day! I know she has to be born. Nature always gets her way. Push! I would have been so excited right now. Push! My husband cries with me. Push! Shes here. One little cry! I heard her cry! Thank you!
Goodbye my heart! My beautiful girl! I will be with you someday!

I wrote everything down. All my pain. All my fears. It was time to let go. But how? I looked down to the water flowing near me. All I had to do was open my hand and let the water carry it all away. Knowing nature was helping me move on, let me smile and feel strong again. I opened my hand and watched as the forceful waters healed me.

She was beautiful. So trusting and beautiful. Dan was in love. Every minute spent in her bed. He touched her and kissed her all over her body. Until the day he got bored. Someone else turned his eye. He was in love, rather lust. Heartbroken, she ran. Until she realized she didnt have to allow him to win. She lead him to the roof. To talk. Wearing something he could not ignore. Except talking is not what she had in mind. “You!” She exclaimed. “You lost what you will never have. You have fallen.” He looked up at her as he fell. He was falling. Falling from her. From Grace.

She felt it radiating through her like the brightness of a lighning strike hitting the earth. As she opened her eyes, she saw the new path set ahead. She felt the excitement in knowing he would pay. Knowing that now she could make him pay. He was already devoured and she lusted with the sweet taste of it.

Purple is bold and fun! Or is it bad and painful?
It signifies wealth and royalty!
But also the color of a bruise.
It’s power and ambition!
Or the result of those things. I observe purple as magical and mysterious.
Beloved by many.

As I look back on my bedroom, my warm bed calling to me, I sigh and turn to leave. Slowly I walk to the front door. I grab my keys, make sure I have my lunch and my purse, and close the heavy door behind me.

“What happened?” My husband asked as I put down my phone. A small truck just hit a pole down the road knocking out the power. My son was riding around with some friends in a small truck. “An accident by Merle’s house. Where is Kyle? “ I responded. “He’s downstairs. He came home early because he didnt feel like drinking” My husband said. I ran downstairs. I had to see my son to be sure. As I reached the bottom step, I saw him playing a game. “Kyle!” I cried as I wrapped my arms around him.