"I saw what you did last night. And I've told everyone."
Panic surging through my veins, saw what? There were many things I did last night, should I be worried?
Standing there in shock, I didn’t know what to say, the feeling of betrayal didn’t seem to be going away, I had taken them in, I had trusted them, I was clearly wrong.
The sense of betrayal never really disappears, you can never look at the person the same way ever again, you just have to accept them for the idiot they are, walk past them in the corridor and simply ignore them. Its just the easiest thing.
Panic.
It’s always there, in the distance or right in your face.
Panic.
"Find me down the garden path"
Thats what she had told me, I was determined to meet her there. My love for this girl was unmatched anywhere on the planet, she had no faults: her beautiful blue eyes, sat innocently under her dazzling blonde hair, distant freckles covered her naked face, pure. That’s the best word to describe her, I could go on forever about her beauty inside and out, but forever would not be long enough.
I did make it to the garden path, I hunted until I knew she wasn’t there, I searched everywhere but reluctantly left with a glum look on my face, faced with the realisation my glorious relationship was probably over, that was a thought I couldn’t stand to bear.
I knew it was inevitable, she was a goddess in comparison to me, it just wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t think we had reached the final destination just yet.
However I was wrong, she had arrived at her final destination, one there was no coming back from. She hadn’t just left me, she had left all of us, for good.
She was never coming back, I would never see the freckles covering her perfect face, I would never see her again, not in this lifetime at least.
She was the one for me, but I wasn’t the one for her, fate had disrupted what could have been…
So here I am, staring at where she would have sat, weeping into my hands, missing her sweet stare, the sarcastic laugh, I missed all of her.
I wouldn’t meet her down her garden path, I would meet her at the top of the winding path to heaven, that would be the only option.
Can you arrest an animal? Is that even a thing? People who murder go to prison, but what if it’s an animal? Some would question if there is much difference.
But could you put a dog in prison? Or a cat, or basically any other animal? How would that work. As far as we know it just wouldn’t so what would you do?
Everybody is different, you just cant compare. Dont compare me to you, just because we are different doesn’t mean one of us is better or worse, or one is less deserving of being treated rightly. We all have rights, so should the animals we coexist with, is there really much difference?
(Probably a bit short but I can always add to it later down the line)
The first sensation I can ever feel and it is cold? Surely I could’ve got a better feeling like that. Apparently being warm is nice, but being tired is bad. This is all new to me, I’m young compared to my friends by all accounts so they have been feeling for months more than me, its finally my turn.
At least it wasn’t heartbreak, Alex got heartbreak and he has never been the same since. If the cold means I can stay sane then I am all for being cold. If I’m cold, I can go and sit by the fire, if I’m heartbroken thats a lot harder to fix.
Sitting in the garden fixes my problem of being cold and gives me a glimpse of hope that this will be good, its still the first day after all. There is one thing I am hoping to avoid though, pain.
Pain comes and goes too much, pain is basically a constant, it just depends how hard it hits
Blood. The unnerving taste of my crimson, gooey, vital blood filled my gagged mouth. The cool chains biting my hands, restraining them evermore with every small movement. The object, which can only be a cotton pillow case thrown carelessly over my head, blocked my vision. Lets just say this wasn’t my first rodeo, I knew how this ended: it ended with a bullet through my brain, or it ended with them in the ground. I knew they had the advantage, but I was experienced, I was still alive which meant they definitely didn’t know who I was, and at that moment, that was my greatest advantage and chance at escaping.
With ease I snapped the legs off of the back of the chair to which I was roughly tied, flicked my head back so the pillow case flew off gracefully into the distance, whilst also blowing the messy hair out of my face, I made it look too easy, which of course it was but this ultimately blew my cover.
I was surrounded, the one thing I didn’t want. Of course there was still a way out, I just had to find it. Time was against me, as was everything else it seemed. It took about 10 seconds to plan my escape, and as quickly as I took my next breath the plan was already in motion.
I took too long.
Maybe a second, maybe less, maybe more, but regardless of how long, I wasn’t quick enough.
Time passed slower than ever as the bullet travelled at unreal speeds towards my skull, it was all I could do to not scream. Screaming shows weakness, and I could not afford that in the moment. I had accepted that if I was going to die, I would die with dignity. But it never came to that.
As quick as a flash the bullet missed my head, and hit the chains and which bound my hands together so tightly, that’s when I realised the shot was never meant to kill me in the first place. I knew no search party would come, I absolutely forbid it. But I hoped he would, my brother could be annoying at times, but when all was said and done he would never let me down, besides he owed me his life… But thats a story for another day.
My brother had done all he needed to, as the chains fell away, I took it from there, disarming every man Im the room, this time I made sure to make it look as easy as possible, and with that taken care of I gave my brother a long hug, and walked out of training centre with a beaming smile on my face.
It was over, The match had worn thin, Nothing left to light the spark, So off I wandered into the dark.
It was fun whilst it lasted, I must give you that, But how it all changed, Over a night, and a day.
It took an almighty plea, To swear off all violence, And as the waves return to the sea, So the words give way to silence.
Long and forgotten, Thats how it felt, I wanted the spark, The fun, The joy.
But the match had worn thin, Oh what I would give to light the match, Just one more time.
It is him. I knew it was, the nagging in my brain urging me to turn back. But I didn’t, I had to know for certain. This can’t be happening again, can I ever escape this madness?
The feelings, they all came rushing back to me at the same time, it was too much. Too much for me to handle on this new world, I didn’t even know where I was. They told me I was on Earth, but that didn’t help at all. I knew I wasn’t from here, I felt like an intruder, I wanted to go home. But more importantly I needed to get away from him, it was a matter of life and death.
It didn’t end well last time, it ended with a body in the ground. The body of my father. The broken, lifeless body of my father, a constant memory of how he killed him, how he brutally killed him. How the love of my life killed my father, and felt no remorse.
The cheek of him to show up here, here of all places. I didn’t really know where here was, but the point still stood, I thought I had escaped him, he was getting back into my brain. I had to leave, before it happened again.
Nobody else would die, Nobody else would get hurt, I wouldn’t allow it. If this is the way it would have to be, then it shall be…
It would all end soon…
Ella, why did you have to kill him. I cant protect you now. Your whole life down the drain. I wish I could do more. Ella, my love, you didnt have to do it alone, we could have found another way. A way we could still be together. But now we are separated by a pane of glass, I wish it were me on the other side, so you could live your life in peace and tranquillity. If only I were there for you, like you were for me.
Today was the first day it hit me hard, how we wouldn’t be able to really see each other for years and years. To the naked eye, seeing you dressed in ragged orange signified your devilish actions, but to me it signified the radiance of the sun in your heavy blue eyes, after only two days, and instantly I knew you didn’t deserve this.
I had to save you, once and for all.
"She was with me" is what I would tell them, the judge, the jury, the lot. It would take a whole lot of convincing but I would make it work. I would put my heart and soul into this, to make sure we get our happily ever after. It’s all I’ve ever wanted in life: you, me and maybe even the pitter patter of feet rushing across the floor. I would make sure you didn’t go down, I would fight your corner, I would save you.
I would do anything to see you out of the orange overalls which make you look despicable, anything to see you in an outfit of your choice, an outfit that compliments your short, dazzling hair, An outfit that makes you look tall, an outfit chosen for me. For that I would risk it all…
I will whisper "I love you Ella" as I lay down and fall into an uneasy slumber without you next to me. I will tell you that next time we fall asleep in each others arms, I will stroke your hair as we fall asleep, and most importantly, you will be free.
