he thought he'd solve it all if only

if only for a moment he could watch -

free from reified thought

conditioned mind succumbing to abstractions

morning sunbeams hanging

from an unending sky

see past the artifice get on the fucking plane

and change your life

they promise, smiling as they give evidence

at the court of crossroads

the moment he lived it, truthful

it became, then, grey and unvar...

‘Cal? How about we walk by the canal for a bit, yeah? We can reminisce a little…’

I nod willingly, adopting a fleeting, if slightly absent, smile. In all truth, reminiscing might well be the last thing I feel like doing. Too much pain and strife bridges my last visit to Justine and Camille’s home village, and walking a path trodden so many times in innocence and faith… I’m not sure I can bear it....

I’m so sorry, little Callie

For the hurt I can’t prevent

For the tears, the strife, the end to life

Your ardent discontent

How I see you in those children

Smiling, skipping through their day

They’ll be pacified and satisfied

All worries kept at bay

I miss your authentic demeanour

Truth and honesty a must

You observed, ever-perceptive

It was you they loved to trust

How I laugh now, recol...

I left you, my safe haven

Buried deep in a grave

Beside all of those people

And the love that they gave

Thought I’d never deserve

The kind words and the praise

The palatial expanse

Of your warm, loving gaze

And that day in November,

When I gifted my heart

The abyss of despair

Tore my conscience apart

Unauspicious confession

Refuted, confined

‘I don’t see you that way’

So I turned in,...

The night I ceased to be

Part of that world,

I extinguished both the studio lights

And the fire my passion had kindled inside.

Descended to streets below

Glanced up at the ink-black January sky,

Blessed the smothered stars

As wistful piano faded into late-night traffic hum.

I realised, only later, what I had lost.

Time soon warped the joie-de-vivre

This art form bestowed me with,

And wrench...

it’s never the benign or innocuous matters of the heart.

always the flesh and blood of unbridled emotion.

forever the pity and the sorrow tearing at my fingers

compelling me to put pen to paper

in a display of unmitigated self.

when I write, I can’t help but be anyone else.

it’s the despair I bury, the prayers

borne witness to by the soft devoted pages of my baby blue journal -

why can’t I b...

In thrall to my emotive name

Compelling you to play the game

Verbose or not, my imagery

Conceives harmonious symmetry

Enjambment ripples, current swirls

Do join me as the sail unfurls

A sailor and his metaphor

Extend past this redemption shore

Melodious tunes resound onstage

Imploring you to turn each page

Decrying passive ignorance

Deploring childish innocence

We open minds and hear...

If I asked you, truly, earnestly,

Pray tell what you’d reply

For I’ve witnessed each assurance,

Promise you’ll detoxify?

But you pledge to swear an oath

This time, plead guilty to desire

For a life on screen can only mean

You walk a thinning wire

You’re resigned to castigation

From the onset were condemned

To addictive connectivity

Soon made you comprehend

That the dopamine-fuelled pleasur...

Restless agitation, two heartbeats

Tremble in anticipation

Take to the floor, lights dim, downbeat thunderous -

‘Oh, not the bloody woke agenda AGAIN!’

Departing proclamation resonates

Swift exit, stage left

Uncompromising, he implores

‘Don’t you watch this, son.’

And so the boy reaches for premature closure

Hand outstretched

Momentary desire to seize control

Stained with prejudice

Driven ...

Your despondent reluctant glance

With eyes bereft of light

Meets mine

Reflecting what I already know

You

Ashamed restless pensive you

Occupy my every waking hour

With the sorrow regret retribution

New beginnings as you swear

To remain faithful devoted true

Would I have it any other way?

Flaxen hair carried by the breeze

Freckled sun dappled cheeks

Innocently smiling as you bend

To the will o...