As the tears stream down my face, I remember all our memories. I carry her in my arms, calling for help, but nobody answers. I sob and trip, but don’t fall, knowing I won’t get up. It was my idea to go swimming in the dark and it was my fault she drowned. He body was transforming to icy flesh rather than a beautiful body. I cried, knowing nothing will ever be the same. I still have a long way to go. I lost the car and I lost the love of my life. I had to walk forever. It was my punishment. Why was I such an idiot. I wished for her to come back. I wished I was smarter. I wished that my life would go back to the old days, but none of this will ever happen. I’m alone in this world and nobody can help me. The sand is pulling me down and I can’t stand any longer. I tumble to the ground and lose sight of her. I try to find her, flailing my arms, but I can’t see. I can’t hear. I can’t breathe. I’m feeling faint and I begin to pass out. I gift my last ounce of energy to think about my life before.
My guilty pleasure has always been make-up. “That’s not a guilty pleasure though.” You might say, but I don’t wear it. I eat it. People thinks it’s gross, but I think that if they tried it, they would love it too. It’s so good! At school, I always get yelled at if I ate it, so I began to put it on a sandwich at home. It definitely wasn’t as good in a sandwich, but it was better than not eating it. My parents say I have a problem, but I truly think that I don’t. It’s actually healthy. It just has a few chemicals that may not be the best for you. I love eating it on everything. There was one week where all I ate was makeup, but I got really sick so I figured I should probably eat a little other food too. I just cannot get enough of it. I’ve tried to get other people to try it, but they just run away and call me a creep. I don’t know what it is about makeup. It’s just really good.
It’s big city dude, scary story women, and myself. We are all sitting in a room together. The women is shaking, still recovering from her escape. I ask her if she’s okay or if she needs anything. She’s way too shook up to answer. I’d ask the guy what he’s been up to. He starts talking about his fantastic trip to the city. He talks about all the lights and people and places. He keeps talking... and talking... and talking for a long time. The women, still shook up but no longer trembling, starts in on the conversation. She starts talking about how the city is way too dangerous. So many people and nowhere to run. The two start arguing about whether big cities are good or not. If you ask me, they both have a point. It was my turn to talk though, and the two both caught up in their argument are going to ask me whom I prefer in a variety of categories. The women asks me who I thought was most likely to protect me. I had a hard time choosing this one, but I went with the women. I told them that I thought she would know a little more about fighting and survival. The man then asks me who I thought would be more problematic. I felt weird answering this one, but once again I went with the women. I felt that she would start a lot of arguments. She also had a conspiracy theorist vibe to her that I did not like. They give me the third and final question. Who would I rather be friends with? I chose the man. I felt like we had more of a connection and that he would be more fun to hang out without we could go on vacations and talk about our interests.
I hear the horns The sirens The people I see the towers The cars And the bars I smell the gas The food And the drinks The city is busy The city is good There’s so much to do So little time The lights are glowing And the people are cheering All I want is a hand in mine My hand is alone Surrounded by many The people The animals The tree All the cars And trucks And things alike All have so much to do The man is rushing The girl is biking Winding through the slow traffic The city is busy The city is king But all I need Is one more thing
As our hands drifted apart, I knew this would be the last time I’d ever see her again. My eyes water up, thinking about all the great memories we’ve had together. I knew it wouldn’t last. I was a country boy. Unwilling to leave for anything. She was a city girl, going around the country for fun. I was the first time she took more than a day break. I saw her driving into town and asked her name. I fell in love right there. She talked about her journey and how beautiful it had been. I wondered why she would drive through this tiny town. Nothing to do here I think. I asked her later that night to stay. She wanted to go but I managed to keep her over night. In the morning, the slightly dazed girl woke up by my side. We spent the day together. It was a glorious day full of the little fun this town could bring. That was all over now though. I said goodbye and she drove away. I knew these next few days would be hard. I’d miss her so much. Her eyes were gorgeous and her hair was extraordinary. Her beauty was that of an angel. I wish we could live together. Get married. Have kids. But we were two very different people and our dreams just didn’t match. Her car disappeared into the horizon, mixing with the abundant dust. I left to walk home and I knew my life would never be the same after I said goodbye.
What the fuck do I do. I barely knew who I am with or what I would do with my life, let alone preach to thousands of people about what theirs is. I call myself down, thinking of what I could possibly say. Maybe I should just make an excuse that the speaker is sick. What if this is permanent though? Then I’m just delaying the nerves. I decide I have to do it. I decide to go with the little knowledge I have. I’m going to say the meaning of life is to have fun and find happiness. Find happiness in what you do, and in everything you do. Find happiness however it is necessary. I realize, I need to live more like this. I hate my job. There’s nothing special about it. I just sit at a desk all day doing, well, nothing. None of it matters. I am making a change right now. I’m going to deliver this speech like my life depends on it, because for all I know, it does.
