As I sit alone with my thoughts and peace I think of the memories I have made I like the peace and quiet I am just with myself I don’t need to play a charade I breathe in I breathe out Letting go of self doubt My mind becomes clearer I am able to see the future infront of me I breathe in To see little me struggling in the past Hoping that someone would save her These visons swirling in my head I look at myself in the mirror The little girl is begging for help I look at young crying me Locking the door on her parents Feling so lost, so sad Hudreds of thousands of more events swirl in my mind “Help me” “Im lost” “I cant do this” “Help me” “Get me out” “Im done with this” The words I dread “I dont want to…” I breathe out The world becomes still All peace restores inside of my body Im at peace with myself I appreciate the silence Even if some don’t It reminds me to breathe Something I don’t do enough This silence is when I allow myself to relax This silence is quiet and nice The same silence who some may deem as scary The same silence that might make same paranoid The same silence is calming to me

I’m on this bridge Knowing what do have done Knowing you’ve been in the same position as I am Knowing that I was the one I will not walk this earth without you For our love is too strong You’ve been gone for too long Looking over the edge You were so brave Jumping into the unknown Knowing you wouldn’t be safe You died on the exact same day One year ago where I am standing today What did you think about as you jumped? Did you think about me? Did you think that this would set you free I called you that night With no answer I got scared I thought you would be home soon I watched the hours flyby Waiting for you to come home The knock on the door The officers voice Telling me what you had done Telling me, I had no choice I had to continue on Living my life Knowing you wouldn’t be in it Knowing you hadn’t survived Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t I know? Was it some secret? You couldn’t let go On the bridge One year ago today You jumped I will not walk this earth without you I can’t stand to live like this anymore So I must jump too

Do I stay or go That only something you would know You were my world My everything The love of my life The person I wanted to grow old with The person I used to know The person who stop breathing But I never let go As I sit by your grave On this wondrous day I wonder if some things could be different If you could stay It’s getting late The clock is ticking to 12 I’m lonely I’m alone No one to hold my hand I don’t want to face reality I don’t have a plan I miss your laughter I miss your tears I miss you whispering in my ear I wish you would not have jumped off that pier I wish you would’ve told me what was wrong It is now time where I must let go I must leave you here Well I continue my life Find new people Find a new wife I’ve been sitting at your grave for far too long Hoping you’ll come back But really, you’re gone

The night was cold But she was warm Or so I’m told What made you go up to her dorm? What made you sleep together? What made you cheat on me? Was I a memory of the past? Were you thinking about me? As you tell me this, how can you be sitting there? With her hands in your hair With the smug grin on her face As I ask “Am I to easy to replace?” After our breakup I was depressed I was a mess Now I laugh and cry and scream more Knowing you wont come back to my door I am writing this poem In hopes I can forget about you But know I wouldn’t have had all my firsts with another Farewell, my almost lover

Im battered and bruised Hurt like no other The glass has shattered Between me and my mother I hope to be fixed I hope to be fine I hope to be repaired Its not going to happen As I sit here and cry on the floor Hoping you don’t come knocking on my door My tears are being shed When I sit here and wish you were dead My heart is shattered Like the picture of us My clothes are tattered I’ve been poked and prodded for far to long And yet I still wish your were gone Im battered and bruised Hurt like no other The glass has shattered Between me and my mother