_Nothing will ever be the same. _
Parked on the side of the high way Pain pouring from out in streams
Sorrows drowned in bad decisions Memories buried beneath months of mistakes
Everything is different now __ __ Isolation, a desperate need to hide How does anyone ever survive this?
This was meant to be forever Now, there is only a vague remembering__ __
_This is for the best _ __ __ Healing happens slowly, then all at once Nothing has ever cut so deep before
Resurfacing from a pit of darkness The first sunrise after the return is nearly blinding.
This is for the best __
Time moves quickly after that Life changes with the swiftness of a speeding bullet
Suddenly, there are dishes and laundry School drop offs bedtime stories.
Everything is different now __ __ Even dreams have changed No longer stuck in the desires of youth.
Where once there were dreams of travel and chaos, Now there are fantasies of stability and peace.
_Nothing will ever be the same. _
They were snarling tigers Fire that burns through the thickest forest. The type that would ruin a life without ever stopping to see whose life they were ruining. There was no telling if they did it on purpose Or if it was in their nature to be so disastrous. A hurricane ripping through a city, uprooting everything in its path. It’s something that cant be escaped The inherent need to destroy Truth be told, they never stood a chance. They couldn’t have been different if they had wanted to, And there was no sign that they wanted to. They relished in the chaos of it. The flesh catching on their own sharpened teeth. Their roars so deafening it blocked out even the idea of safety, of peace.
But when they turned that ferocity on me? What else could I do? I snarled back.
Black asphalt and cars There is one that never moves Countless untold lives
Gray, white, and dirty
He’s staring with hungry eyes The parking lot cat
Lights that don’t turn off
Illuminate the night sky
Reminds me of home
Littering the ground
The remnants of cigarettes
The smell still remains
Lingering outside
People never seen before Stare through my window
Buzzing little bugs
Swarm around my dim porch light
It still just flickers
A puddle of rain
Pooled beneath a car outside
Oh wait, that’s just oil
Old stagnant water
Sits in an empty kids pool It sits there for months
It’s electrifying And invigorating And terrifying. It starts with nights spent staring at the stars And sharing parts of ourselves we thought would always just be ours. Slowly, so slowly, it builds Something too big for words Then suddenly its everything, all at once you know. You’re sure. You’re tumbling, falling so fast that nothing matters except this Feeling. This Hand in yours, Keeping you warm against the cold surrounding you. Then the fingers slip from your grip, You look over to see the face of the one Who keeps you safe. They’re not there, they’ve gone. You hit solid ground with a devastating sound. Then suddenly… it’s over.
Do you think the sun gets lonely up there?
_I think it has to. _
Why?
Wouldn’t you? Spending your entire life giving all of your warmth, your brightness, to organisms you can never meet without burning them up just like Icarus?
**That’s rather sad. **
_It is, but I think there’s a certain beauty to it. _
How could there be?
_Think about it, it’s a fundamental part of being alive. _
Fundamental?
_Like, wanting something so badly but knowing that to even try to get it would be the destruction of the very thing you’ve given your life to. _
**That’s not beautiful. **
Isn’t it?
**No. **
_Tell me you’ve never loved someone so much that you’d give them everything, even if you could never fully have them. _
…
_That’s what I thought. _ _Of course the sun gets lonely up there. _ Don’t you get lonely down here?
The first to break my heart was my mother.
A mother is meant to soothe and hold you Not to glare and scold you.
She is meant to love you through it all. Not to tell you that it’s your fault.
And when you confide in her, she’s meant to believe you. What she’s never supposed to do is leave you.
Yes my mother was the first to let me down, the first to break my heart. And if you can’t trust the one who raised you, then what? Who’s left to trust?
And in this lifetime, and the next, until the end of time. I will love you so much and in so many ways that no book could ever contain them all.
Tangled together like rope, Your head resting on my arm and my fingers in your hair Lying on the cold wooden deck. I can still close my eyes and see you there.
The circles you rubbed on my wrist, I can still feel your touch lingering on my skin. And if I weren’t so damn proud I think I could almost just give in.
No one could ever compare to you There’s no chance that I could ever love another. Five years past and still trying to let go. Farewell, my almost lover.