Darkness Where we all begin Before the Sun Comes creeping in

To warm the fibre Of our being A single breath A straining sapling

We fight through winters Storms And rain Standing tall Baring pain

Splinters bite Ricochet We ground ourselves We seize the day

Firmly planted Barely moved The tug begins Within our roots

The tug to fight The tug to flee To live our lives To be truly free

For in the darkness Withered and Cold Lies mould And illness

Infecting Old Connections Friendships Family and past

Visible too late At last To see what truly lies beneath The source of turmoil Lack of sleep

As above The gentle breeze Rises Sending forth seedlings To the unknown

Where gentler fields await them Where the Sun Can help them grow

New roots With which They can see the world In ways I never could

Oh how I wish I could bloom again For the first time I just wish I could

I lost you Amongst The Fray

As Voices Rico Chet

Bombaring My skull

Your Screams Were All Null

I could Never Have kept Them At bay

You are bright and joyous Warm and Fragrant Home

When I dream of you You are my protector You are my guide My companion Always

When I speak of you I speak of you fondly Always

When I speak of you You become alive

Once upon a time A cliche beginning Simply children Always listening

Glistening fables Babbling brooks All of our knowledge Bound within books

We’d frolick through life A flock of sheep Innocent nature Wrapped in cotton fleece

Gnashing teeth Held at bay Till nightfall spread At close of day

Golden eye That kept us safe Had gone to sleep So we’d escape

Down winding roads Through dappled caves Followed closely Seen as prey

Picked off slowly One by one Permeated darkness Virtuous young

Sought for light Amongst the shade Silver slivers Through foliage made

An ornate path Through obsidian maze Subduing turmoil Enchanting rays

Beaten and bruised But not yet dead We soldiered on With weary heads

Grieving lost Friends forgotten Childhood past Innocence rotten

And so we stepped into the dawn, forever changed No longer young

Babbling brooks Babbling babes We fumbled where the fishes played From dawn until the end of day Back when life was just a game

Boggy creeks Bogging babes We rolled in mud Down hills In hay We messed our hair up Then we laid To dry in the sun Then hide in the shade Back when mammy would shout and say Your dinners ready Come in from play Back when life was just a game

Restless rivers Reckless caves Cloaked in darkness We made our way To whisper secrets Or sneak a pint Down by the water In the cold still night Before we knew What was wrong or right When life was just a game

Numbing rain Scorching heat When I needed you And you needed me We knew just where we had to meet Where life was just a game

As time went on As times did change As you had babies And I moved away I wonder if it had stayed the same Where life was just a game

One faithful day In summer passed Home for autumn I walked that same path Where you and I Grew old and vain Where life was just a game

I happened upon a beautiful scene A group of babies by the beach Laughing and playing The same way as we Where life was just a game

I looked up from this picture Sweet My eyes met yours Yours filled with glee Flooded with the memories Of when life was still a game

And in that moment We both knew How much you missed me
How much I missed you As we clung on tight We began anew Where life was still a game

Seasons changed Tides did rise We faced the challenges Side by side Our hearts still young Our hair turned grey Watching the waves roll in each day Making so many new memories Making life a game

Beyond the map, Where legends dwell, I ventured into the unknown. Unaware of how long I had travelled Or how long I had left to go.

Beaten by the elements Torn Tired Grown

I persevered I walked alone Further into the unknown

I made some friends along the way I left them long ago I knew that something better called me Further into the unknown

I brought some things with me Passed down from those before From travellers who left their mark Further into the unknown

Stories of what awaited Threats of what went wrong The adventures that lay ahead of me Further into the unknown

Their stories didn’t line up Their threats already well known I knew the path that I would take That path was mine alone

So I ventured out I am far away from home Beaten Worn Tired With so long left to go

I could’ve stopped my journey I could have never grown But stories left unwritten Pointed to the unknown

Nothing but hope to guide me No one by my side Lacking the light of A constant reminder That I should, In fact Take Pride

That I have walked the footsteps Of those who have long since gone I have made new paths For those who may follow alone

I have narrowed gorges I have carved through stone So any others who trek this way

May never know my wounds and pain May make it a little farther Than my final resting place

When I find what I’ve been looking for When unknown is just phase

I want to find where I belong My home My final stage

But here is not my place to lay So I must journey on For those who look to where I am Those who are forlorn

I have seen the great unknown I have laughed right in its face I have survived for so so long And I will give it chase

I will tell them once and for all That this is the only way You will trip and fall And cry and love

But you must scream out loud To the skies above That this is just child’s play

The ones who came before you Saw only but a blip Of what is meant by the great unknown So go and take the first step.

Find me down the garden path Wasting my years away Memories bleed through trellises Misplaced love finds its way

My secret garden is just a place where only I can stay Only I have the power to leave But covered now, in autumn leaves Weighed down by winter’s snow The comfort of the cold, dead ground draws me back so

I scour round the labyrinth Hoping to find that secret gate That will be wide open Hoping that I will choose fate

It calls to me in my sleep Its creaking moans like a melody Everyone has found their gate

Everyone except for me

So I lay awake On dreamless nights Hypnotised by paint splattered skies Begging for someone Or something to give me a sign

Or a little bit of strength to ease my mind

I know soon I will find the garden gate I am not too sure what beyond it waits

But I know that it’s inevitable I will become unintelligible

When I step into the world beyond the gate It is down to me, not down to fate

Say it with me It is not easy to just leave

Not everyone has the same freedoms as me Not everyone chose to live a life and not be free

Just me

I put myself in this position Crippled under self submission Forced to drag my aching Corpse through all of this broken glass

These shattered memories I thought were made to last

I chose to see the best version of you To suffocate the screaming inside of me That knew You were not the one for me

But I thought I could save you

I thought my purpose on this earth was to provide release From every burden To help them see what the world could have been I thought I was meant to show them the way To bring about endless happy days

I thought you’d do the same for me In the end, it’s not actually me you see

You see the version of myself that is the most pleasing The version of myself which worked to keep easing The pain that is no one’s fault but your own

I’m alone

I’m alone with myself and no one above me I don’t need roots to grow just the sky above me I love myself in a way that no one above me Can take

No one can take that away

When the time comes and another love approaches It is my hope that they welcome me into their arms with no Hope that I won’t reproach them

With no expectations No limits No weights Just freedom and destinies intertwined

Simply fate

That they will stand two feet Secure in their body And give me a rock to lean on When I’m not me

That they will give me the moon and the stars above With nothing in their hearts but kindness and love

Because that’s all I ever had for you For them But never for me

I will love more powerfully than the cosmos And deeper than the fabric of my soul can reach I will sing louder with every breath in me I will give them my all even if it kills me Because I know they will do the same for every version of me

Only then Will I be free

The warm embrace of golden hour falls upon the meadow. I don’t enjoy watching her leave as I know exactly what it means… Back to monotony, the grind, the pain staking labour that just makes Sunday so much sweeter and yet so bitter. She is known for being a day of rest and a day so serene that it lifts all of that pain from your chest. I cannot count

the number of times that I have said with weighted breath ‘I love Sunday’ and in the same rasp whisper of how fleeting she is just by her own nature.

There is a peace that comes with Sunday which I cannot put into words, rather, when I try to rationalise it… From Monday to Saturday all I have are rushing memories but never with Sunday. She does not rush me. She holds me like one of her own, she nurses me when I am ill and she coddles me.

Sunday is a mother. A mother who encourages you to give her the weight of your burdens and holds no grudge against you.

She awaits your visit in the kitchen window, dusty with age yet so… comforting. She will never move, she will never change. She will always be there. She will always be Sunday.

I enter her house like a child at the beginning of my life, fearful of what lies ahead but hopeful nonetheless. Sunday washes me
in this blissful comfort I can only describe as someone who has made peace. A much older soul with a kind and warming nature, untarnished by the gnashing of time.

Oh how I wish every day could be Sunday.

I cannot look in mirrors, I’d turn myself to stone. I find it’s rather poignant, though, to see what is your own.

You glide above the clouds, I’m lurking underneath. No one ever told me that My heroes had sharp teeth.

I’ve seen so much down here that would make a mother cry.. I’ve shown so many people the realities of your lies.

It’s hard to save them all at once… I try to put Them first.

They see me as a threat, at first, a monster with a thirst.

But I thirst for something that many monsters do. Justice and equality, to have it just like you.

You splay out in your ivory tower, up amongst the stars. How’s the view from up on top? Do you know it‘s rightfully ours?

We should all share the glory, the comfort and the fame. How unfortunate we are to not have power and a last name.

So I’ve begun to build a ladder, so we can see the top.

Many have now joined me, They are hard to stop.