As I entered the room, my back began to shiver knowing I was entering what could possibly be my doom. The room had a potent smell that could leave stains on my shirt and It was nearly pitch black but I could see good enough to the point I could indicate the light switch. I flipped it and the lights were on. My jaw dropped and a tear trickled down my left cheek as limbs were hanging right before me. I went to touch one of them but the bodies were cold and rough. I try my best not to regurgitate but I was struggling to compose my breathing. Backed away from the bodies but collided with another. I turn around and there she was: Grandma. In her hand was a bag of dentures and vitamins. She looks at me, “I’m sorry you had to see this, but now it’s too late”. She closes the door behind her and turns off the lights, and the screams of my horror was only heard by us too with no one in sight.
I had my rights taken away from me when I was sentenced to prison by a cruel and vile regime. I was silenced for speaking out against a genocide that was taking place under our noses. My voice was silenced by a government whose only objective is to be seen powerful and intolerant to the subordinate citizens that fear the leaders that be. I didn’t want to be amongst the fearful, so I chose to speak up. Ever since then, I have been tortured and humiliated by a prison system designed to oppress the wrongfully prosecuted all because the leader of a dominant nation is narrow minded to beliefs that contradict his power. It’s unknown what country I’m referring to because this isn’t happening in just one country. And this might get worse before it gets better.
The train conductor: “Here you go young kid, a ticket to anywhere you wanna go”
The boy: “you mean this can take me anywhere I want?”
Conductor: “indeed son”
The boy: “I wanna go to mars”
Conductor: “alright- wait what?”
The boy: “mars! I wanna go to mars!”
Conductor: “umm you do realize that’s not on earth, right?”
The boy: “oh right, I forgot.”
Conductor: “that’s okay, where else?”
The boy: “Ummm. . . Oo! I wanna go to my friends house.”
Conductor: “okay no problem, where does he live?”
The boy: “ten minutes from here.”
Conductor: “oh boy. sigh How about somewhere relatively far?”
The boy: “I don’t know, that’s all I really wanted to do.”
Conductor: “cmon kid, don’t you wanna see more things in this world. Don’t you wanna see the Eiffel Tower, or attend a game at the Tokyo Dome, or hike the mountains up in north?”
The boy: “I guess since you put it that way.”
Conductor: “Alright, where to first?”
The boy: “Let’s go to the France! I wanna see the Tokyo Dome!”
Conductor: “Japan it is!”
The boy: “I can’t wait.”
Conductor: “Alright, step into the magic train-“ The father: “Hey! Who the fuck are you??”
Conductor: “oh hello, I’m-“
The father: *Cocks shotgun “Get the fuck off my property!!”
Conductor: “w-w-w-wait wait!”
The father: “Now!”
Conductor: “okay okay I’m going I’m going”
The boy: “But I wanted to get to China!”
The father: “shut the fuck up and get your ass inside!”
The boy: “aww man!”
Conductor: “yeah, aww man-“
The father: “Goo!!”
Conductor: “Okay I’m going!”
The father: “Goddamn Jehovah witnesses.”
Conductor: “you’re son will know the word of christ some day!” *Drives off in white van
Dog 1: hey you wanna hear a joke?
Dog dos: n no hablo inglés
Dog 1: what
Dog dos: no hablo inglés
Dog 1: i still don’t understand
Dog dos: Jesucristo, no hablo ingles!
Dog 1: did you just say Jesus Christ. That’s a sin dude.
Dog dos: Todavía no sé lo que estás diciendo! Cállate!
Dog 1: you’re going to hell my guy. How dare you man. Not cool man.
Dog dos: eh, no importa. Me voy de aquí.
Dog 1: oh wait where you going man, you didn’t get to here my joke. scoffs typical of a chihuahua, spineless punks.
Dog dos: stops and turns his head not cool dude.
I reach for my phone with no hesitation and I dial 9-1-1. My face is dripping in sweat, my throat feels like it’s on fire and hands are rattling more than a washing machine. The operator in the phone finally reaches back, “Is everything okay?”, as I shout out, “No. My girlfriend was killed, she’s laying on the floor bloody and m-massacred. [breathes] I need someone immediately.” I struggle with my words. “Okay, I assume you are the boyfriend, do you know what happened?” She asks. “I don’t know, I just appeared in the living and the first thing I saw was her on the floor laying on her back begging for life with blood covering her body.” I respond frantically. “Okay okay, I’ll need- I know it’s really hard for you right now but I really, again I know it’s hard, but I really need you to calm down a little.” She says “can you do that for me?” “I-I, I don’t- I don’t, I uh. . .. I [clears throat] I don’t know” “Deep breaths, breath in and breath out a little, just remember to breathe.” She diffuses. “I don’t think you understand, I don’t know if I can” “Yes you can, you got this! We’ll through it” she assures. I shake my head, “I-I don’t think you understand- I can’t because I don’t think I want to”. My heart beats rapidly increases every second until it begins to mollify and my breath becomes more controlled. “What do you mean?” She wonders. No words come out of my mouth. “Hello, are you still there, hello??”, She becomes more worried “Hello?? Are you still with me??”. I finally speak, “Yeah im still here, im better now.” “Okay, can you give me a name?” I respond “No.” “Okay, um [clears throat] can you at-least give me the victims- your girlfriends name?” “Im afraid I can’t do that.” “W-W-Wait what do you mean? Why not?” She ask. “Because, then you’ll know too much. I can’t go jail, not yet.” I suddenly drop the phone while the operator still on the other line. “Hello, are you there? What do you mean you can’t go to jail? Hello? Hello??? HELLOO??” Her voice becomes distant as she removes headset to alert the others in her office “I need your help to track this phone number immediately. Yes now!!” Meanwhile, I grab a gallon of gasoline and rain the body with the liquid from the gallon. I light a spark with a match as I glance at the flame with a slight smirk on face, “I’m the captain now” I drop the flames on to body and exit the house. I as I walk farther away, the house becomes engulfed in flames, leaving everything in that in ruins as I become oblivious to what I’ve done and the monsters that resides in me.
[Exhale] OKAY. It’s only my first day here and I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought I did but I just be lying to myself if I keep telling myself I do. What the hell even is this place? This is not what I signed up for, and everything I thought I learned in school is redundant as of this moment. Oh man, I didn’t think this situation would ever occur but what am I gonna do? It happened and I can’t go back and fix it. I’m a junior doctor for Christ sake and this is what life throws at me. I made a huge mess and a huge mess I made indeed. I gotta go back in OR and clean up the mess I made. I swear it was an accident. Fuck, it’s not gonna matter anyways, im not supposed to make any mistakes while surgery is performed. Oh damn. [facepalm]
“Oh there you l are, I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Oh hey, look I’m sorry-
“Don’t sweat it man. Accidents happen all the time, i ain’t gonna press you for it.”
Really??
“All you did was spill hot coffee”
Yeah pretty clumsy of me, I wish I hadn’t.
“Ah don’t sweat. It happens from time to time in here. You’ll be alright.”
I hope, I just feel bad.
“You’ll get over it. Let’s go.”
Yeah
“Oh and next time, try not to spill it on the patient”
Right
“And if you do, at least wait until they’re sedated”
Hehe, yeah my bad.
“Yeah, They’re screaming gets pretty annoying after 5 minutes.”
I’ll do better next time.
It was the last time that she would stand on that welcome mat before she would drift away from the man she once called love. She turned around and saw the half empty house with everything but her stuff. She looked down on the mat and saw that the first three letters in WELCOME were either faded or peeled off due to wear and tear. Her face was glued to the ground as she dared herself not to look up and face the cruel reality of her life. All she could do was look at that damn mat. The man she once loved, and maybe still does, walked up behind her and gently put his hand on her shoulder.
“It was getting old anyways”, he said, with a half hearted smirk
She said nothing and still looked down on that mat.
“Do You want to come back inside?”, he proposed
Still, not a sound to be heard from heard
“You can’t stand here forever”, he said.
Nothing was said but a tear trickled down her left cheek.
“All is well, I promise. This is what happens in life I guess.”, he said with lack of confidence
Finally she looked, turning her attention towards him. She gave him a tight hug as if all she could do was hold on to him. She let go of him proceeded to leave but before she walked any further she stopped and looked at him one last time.
“All isn’t well” she said confidently, “I promise.” She walked to her car and drove off into the distance and out of sight.
She was someone who dared to step out of her boundaries for the greater good of her own benefits but she had struggled to see that within her. She was someone who knew how fragile she was but instead would carry heavy stones on her back because it made her look strong. She was someone who felt saddened by the evils of past relationships but wouldn’t admit to her obsession of these addictions. She was someone cried in dark all alone but wouldn’t give herself comfort. She was someone to act like a helpless child while not giving the help she needed.
She was someone who was lost, and even though she knew a way out, she decides to stay lost because she fears the escape would be scarier than the trap.
