Amelia took a deep breath, and pushed open the door to her 20-year high school reunion. she stepped through. The cold hall, the wooden floor, the blinding lights hanging from the ceiling, the projector screen still hanging at the front. it was exactly how she remembered. not everything was the same. you know what they say, high school is either the best or worst year of your life, well. for Amelia it was the worst, she was a small frail girl back then, underdeveloped, interested in science and reading, she didn't like to drink or smoke, she loved her parents and would spend lunch in the library. as she looked around now, she realised that maybe that's the best thing that happend to her. the blue-eyes blonde-haired popular girls, who were now middle aged divorced and had had many failed plastic surgeries, the jocks who didn't realise just how unlikely they were to become professionals now jobless and alone. the kids who went to all the parties and had "chill parents" were sat outside the door, there eyes dark, their faces looked numb,they were now drug addicted alcoholics with no future plans. the "smart kids" were now nothing but burnt out stars working a minimum wage job in an average house with an average car and an average life and a well below average mental state. and Amelia, although high school was the worst year of her life, was working a well paid job that she always dreamed of had her husband and two kids at home waiting for her to arrive back, she had her dream car, her dream life, her dream man. all because she didn't allow herself to peak in high school like the others.

you'll never guess what.. i heard she got with him i heard shes a whore did you see her arms? i heard she cuts herself that is why she doesn't come to school oh really? i heard it's because shes depressed what a slag no one even likes her did you see her hair today? i saw her talking to that boy OH YEAH i heard there fucking i heard shes a lesbian nah no way shes too much of a hoe shes such a fag i cant believe she did that i heard- no. i'm a girl who is struggling, i hate myself , i hate my life, and i hate you for thinking you know me. you don't.

if silence had a scent, it would smell like you it would smell like your perfume your bed sheets your washing powder your favourite foods your house because to me you are silence although you speak to me you never really do do you? your silent i can see the thoughts you keep inside i can hear your shame smell your silence if silence had a scent it would be you and even though it makes me sick, the sweet sickly smell of loneliness id by any candle with that scent id light them every day i would wear it as my favourite perfume i would breathe it in so deeply it became a part of me because as much as i miss your words i miss your silence more.

did i cross the line...? did i go too far this time? did i take too many? did i go too deep? my limbs..weaken my vision..fading my mind.. my my mind.. i went too far. fuck i think i took it too far.. the cold floor of my bathroom beneath me my head rests on the tile i watch myself in the mirror as my life fades away my heart slows i feel a numb sensation all over i can barely even breathe my heart stops. the room is filled with medics and my parents they scream and cry begging for me to breathe the word gets out the people who suggested this think did i cross the line? did i go too far? how could i not notice all this time it was right underneath our noses just beneath her sleeves. my body, is cold my body, is limp, numb my eyes are glassy, my lips pale. i was gone, this time i think i finally took it too far.

I am a bad person. I hurt people I make mistakes I hate myself I hate everyone around me I’m rude I’m unkind I’m agressive and unfair I’m violent and isolated But Beneath the surface Behind the anger and the yelling and screaming Is just a girl Who doesn’t know how to love A girl who is in pain And a girl who is a good person Beneath it all I am a good person Yes I do bad things But I am a good person beneath it all.

Don’t walk home alone,ever Don’t smile,don’t wear your hair up, Don’t wear a short skirt and never forget a drink is currency for your body. Don’t stay out too late, Don’t dress up or your a whore Don’t only wear sweats or your ugly these are the rules we’ve learned From years of being told that our body’s are nothing but a waste of space unless we allow them to be used by a man and having that proven by men who belive as such. These rules, Lead our lives, There used against us in court In society So My advice to you? Don’t stay out late Don’t drink to much Don’t smile.at anyone. Don’t wear a short skirt don’t wear your hair up and never not in a million years Never walk home alone.

In the heart of the party under the neon lights our paths crossed igniting endless nights. The glow of the street lights blinded me as you walked towards me you stumbled as you asked for my number and we spent that night in a state of wonder we wondered where we were we wondered how we met and we wondered how this could end the sky darkens your eyes light up as I see you stare at me from across the room they dart away I wonder what you saw in that moment what your heart thought what your mind felt as you turned and walked away we could have spoken then but you know the saying everyone meets twice the first is the hearts turn to flip and to spin as it sees a light and the second is the mind and body’s turn to take a step and allow the heart to reach that light I belive everything happens for a reason and if fate decided we should meet then I won’t let that go so when I saw your eyes dart up and down and away with that tiny light behind them I knew we would meet again because everyone meets twice….

One day we’ll be all grown up, One day it won’t hurt us anymore, One day we’ll be able to look at eachother and say we made it. One day my love. One day is our I love you 3000. And I know,one day,we can be forever, One day we won’t have to only see eachother every three weeks, One day,I won’t be “just a call away” I’ll be just one word away, One day I get to see you every day, One day, One day my love, That’s our I love you 3000.

who broke this window? my mother asked, "it wasn't me" a young alice replied, "who left the milk out?" my mother yelled yet again young alice replied "it wasn't me" it was, it was me. i never admitted it, not because i didn't believe it was me, not because i didn't know nut because i feared the fact it was the fear that i may hurt someone i have hurt many people in my life i always say it wasn't me but, then again, i never really feel like me so i guess, maybe, in a way, it was me. its always me, just, not who i used to be. a new me, a fucked up, selfish, horrible, version of me who is so so angry, a version who cant place where this anger comes from a person who is so consumed by this anger that they are no longer "me" and yet they will always be "me" and that person will never go away, i guess there's a new me now, i don't like her. i don't like me.

i never had a home, so to say

i never had a place where i was safe or loved,

never had a place to call home,

and that was what i needed,

more than anything.

as a kid i would find small pieces of it everywhere,

my broken home had shattered into tiny pieces and planted itself into the people i knew,

the people i no longer know,

as they left i lost all senses of that piece of me,

those pieces i lost left me homeless and without hope,

i gave up.

i was alone...

that's until i found them,

as i walked alone,

i met a group of angels,

they said that they would never leave,

they showed me the most beautiful sights,

gave me the most beautiful memories,

and after a while,

they showed me peace,

they gave me a home,

and now,

i look around and realize i finally have a place to call home,

it is not a house or a location,

its our little group,

me and my angels,

our little family created a home we all knew we needed,

it is safe and warm,

and it never goes away,

i am forever grateful for my angels,

this home will always be here until we all fly away.