that dress. its perfect. why didn’t i think of that the way it fits her body would it look better on mine? no, of course not i don’t have hips like that, a stomach that flat, any of it. why does she have everything i am nothing compared to that if i was her i would not take that for granted not like she does why didn’t i get that stuff i deserve it more, don’t i?
how could i sleep for so long? staring at a field of flowers, when i had been focused on the dirt the path had been laid in front of me i chose to walk with a blindfold had i truly been so ignornant, or did my subconscious pride take the lead. the flower gently placed in my hand as it had been done before i wanted to run how could i accept something so gracious after denying it for so long. i took the flower prying my eyes open to capture every second how could i ever have had them closed?
“you’ve come back, but i no longer need you”. you were my everything. the oxygen in my lungs, but after you left i learned how to breathe again, breathe by myself. i no longer need you. the rose that pricked me when i touched it. the water that drowned me when i tried to swim. i see it now. i see the garden full of flowers, the lifeboats trying to save me. why did it have to be you? why did i need you so bad. maybe it was the perfect appearance , the perfect personality. perfection that was short lasted, temporary. but when you come back now, i see you, the real you. the one that came out during the dark times. the true face that showed after the mask fell. i didn’t want to believe it. believe that the man i loved was a front. but now im glad, glad that i only have to move on from who i thought you were. so no, i no longer need you, i never even knew you.
mysteries of the night are real, not ghosts or zombies, rather persistent, haunting thoughts that creep in ones mind. these monsters are detrimental because they are inescapable, undefeatable, and truly, utterably real. the sun sweeps the evil out of the mind, but the moon is loyal to the enemy. pain, loneliness, regret, embarrassment. something that shutting your eyes and hiding will only make worse. the monster you live with for the rest of your life, more painful than a knife to the chest, this monster kills you from the inside out.
