TheBookLover
I’m just a teen writer here to improve my writing! Any feedback helps, thanks!
TheBookLover
I’m just a teen writer here to improve my writing! Any feedback helps, thanks!
Why did I decide to do this?
Why did I decide to go on a nice boat trip by myself?
Fear builds up in me, body shaking as I look below my boat…a gigantic shadow of some sea beast lurks below.
I stand still in my boat shocked and fearful for my own life. Fearing that if I move an inch the beast will come up from below the sea and swallow me and my boat full.
Suddenly a bigger boat comes up behind my boat and chucks a harpoon into the gigantic beast killing it instantly from hitting it in the head.
“Are you alright?” One of the men asked.
“Yes…yes thank you so much, sir.” I said, my voice shaking from fear. The fear of being eaten by that gigantic sea beast.
“Climb aboard and I’ll take you to shore.” He said.
“Okay, thank you so much for your help sir!” I said.
I climbed aboard his huge boat and we sailed off to the shore.
(I’m not sure if this will make sense or not but I tried my best!)
Chains. The object can be both literally or figuratively. For example you could have chains on your wrists connected to something, that would be literally, or maybe instead it could be figuratively like a certain thought or memory holding you back from doing certain things like trying to make friends. Chains prevent us from doing what we love and keeping us from the ones we love. The thoughts or memories of certain events like a bad relationship or friendship form these figurative chains preventing you from making friends because you’re afraid that the person will be just like THEM. But once you except these literal or figurative chains, only then you will be free.
(I’m inserting another part of chapter 1 of my story A Gala of Knives and Shadows, I guess this is part two of the aftermath of my last post (the accident), anyway enjoy!)
…
As I’m investigating the ballroom I find a piece of dark cloth that was stepped on by the people in the ballroom. I picked it up and held onto it for now since it’s at least something that could lead me to the assassin. I walk around some more to see if there’s any other clues but find none, but just as I’m about to leave the ballroom I spot something on the floor. Dirty footprints leading away from a section of the ballroom wall, a wall that’s actually a secret passage leading into tunnels that end outside of the castle. We have them in case of an emergency, like a fire. Then I start to wonder, if these footprints are leading away from the wall then that means that the assassin used the tunnels to get into the castle. As for the lights I can’t think of how they would completely turn off unless someone turned them off themselves from outside the castle. I slowly start coming back to reality and realize that I’m still standing in the ballroom and head for the door. Just then two policemen enter the ballroom. “Hello miss, are these your parents?” A blonde haired police officer asked motioning to the ground where my parents still lay dead. “Yes…” I ask, my voice shaking a bit from trying to hold back tears. “We’re here to take your parents away from the scene. We’re also very sorry for your loss.” The brown haired police officer said, with a sad look in his eyes. “Aren’t you going to go find out who murdered them?” I ask, desperate to find out who it was that murdered them. “We would but we have a lot on our hands right now with other cases. We’re terribly sorry miss.” The blonde haired police officer said. “Oh…ok.” I say, sad and a bit irritated by his response. “Good day, miss.” The other one says. “Good day.” I say as I’m leaving the ballroom. I start going up the grand marble staircase to my bedroom and close my door behind me. “If they won’t help me then I guess I’ll have to do it myself.” I tell myself as I’m walking around my room irritated. I changed out of my gown and put on a forest green long sleeved shirt, tight black pants, a brown corset with a belt holding a bag attached to it, dark brown arm cuffs, brown laced boots, and a black cape. I then put my hair into a messy braid and started packing my bag. I decide it’s best to pack a book about edible berries in case I run out of food. I also pack two blankets, one I can fold to make a pillow, and the other I can use to cover myself up and keep warm. I then go down to the kitchens and grab some crackers, bread, and some water in a small bottle. I also grab some bandages from one of the cabinets just in case. Lastly, I head up the stairs into the weapons room near my parents bedroom and grab a brown handled dagger from the case it was in and hook it onto my hip belt. I pause mid step as I’m about to head out of the weapons room door and wonder if this is a good idea. I could get killed by who knows what in the forest, or I could die from hyperthermia since we’re in the middle of winter. I could even get lost, run out of food, and starve to death in the middle of the forest where there wouldn’t be another village for miles. I stopped thinking those terrible thoughts and focused my mind on one thing, do this for your parents Odette. Not you. Not anyone else. Do this for them, you know they would do the same for you. With that thought in mind I leave the weapons room and start heading down the corridor and down the grand marble staircase. I glance at the ballroom on the right one last time and wonder if anyone else in Shadowfen knows that two of the wealthiest people in the village are dead except for their only daughter, or rather if they’re worried at all about the situation. After all, people don’t care about anything else in this world except money and wealth. With that thought in mind, I walk out the doors of Roseshire Palace.
(I’m not really going by the prompt but instead I’m inserting a scene from my WIP book A Gala of Knives and Shadows, plz give me feedback on how I can improve, thanks and enjoy!) …
I get up off my bed and smooth out my gown. I looked at myself in my mirror one last time, I can’t believe mother made my gorgeous black off the shoulder dress, with small diamonds dotting the ruffled skirt. It’s quite comfortable for a ball gown. I fix up my hair by putting it in a braided bun and put diamond jewels throughout it. Then I put on a sparkling diamond necklace that my father gave me for my birthday that’s supposedly very expensive. I slip on my black heels, pick up my feather mask with diamonds in the feathers and go downstairs to the gala. Once I’ve made it to the ballroom doors I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and then I enter. As soon as I enter the ballroom I glance around the room. The ballroom is a bit dim but it has enough light to see, my parents are always trying to save money even if it means having an almost dim ballroom. I don’t blame them though Roseshire Palace, our castle, is quite enormous. I walk over to my parents who are watching the other guests slow dance on the ballroom floor. “Ah, there’s my daughter! Where were you dear?” My father asks with an inviting hug. “I was just in my bedroom reading poems and short stories. I didn’t really want to socialize but mother made me come down anyway.” I said with a disappointed frown. “Well at least try to enjoy this gala, it is the biggest one we’ve ever had after all!” My father says smiling. After a while of watching people dance, talk, and laugh I grew weary and decided to go dance by myself in the middle of the ballroom where other people were dancing. As I’m dancing someone bumps into me. “Oh, my apologies!” I say with a small smile. I got no response as the person I bumped into rushed towards the balcony doors on the other side of the room in a hurry. I didn’t even see what they looked like and mother and father never seemed to notice. I wonder where they were headed to. It was suspicious to me but everyone in the ballroom didn’t seem to notice. I then decided that I had enough dancing and socializing for one night and walked over to my parents to tell them that I’m going to our library to spend some time by myself. “Alright, if that makes you happy.” My mother says with a sweet smile. “Thank you for at least coming down to the gala for a little bit, you had fun didn’t you?” Father asks. My mind instantly thinks about the person that bumped into me in a hurry, I decide to tell my father about it. “Father there was someone suspicious that bumped into me as I was dancing, I didn’t get a look at their face to know who it was though. They were headed towards the balcony doors in a hurry.” I said, glancing at the doors the stranger ran to. “I’m sure they were just feeling lightheaded from the crowd and went to go get some fresh air Odette. Everything is just fine.” He reassures me. I don’t feel that reassured though. If anything I feel a bit nervous, like an unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I hope that feeling goes away when I bury myself in piles of books. I excuse myself and start heading towards the ballroom doors just as the lights go off and music starts for a waltz. I end up stopping midway to the doors to watch the waltz. I've always liked watching people dance even though I’m quite terrible at it. Just then the lights went out completely, I was startled but my parents said it’s just for the waltz and to not be alarmed. I still kept my guard up though just in case anything were to happen. Everything is pitch black, I find it impossible that people are still able to dance in such darkness let alone see even with these masks. Then I hear a crash from one of the windows. The music stops and everyone looks around, blinded by darkness and confused, I hold onto father’s and mother’s arms for safety. Just then I hear something swish through the air and my father screams in agony, then my mother also screams and they both drop to the ballroom floor motionless. Everyone starts to panic and run out of the ballroom. Just as the lights turn back on I see both of my parents surrounded by their own blood and someone leap from the balcony near the broken window. I don’t care about that now, that’s the last thing I’m worried about. Right now all I’m worried about are my parents and if they’re alive or not. My heart, beating rapidly in my chest, I check both of their pulses. Dead. Both of them. My mind and my thoughts spiral into confusion, heartache, sadness, but most of all anger. Anger for my parents death, anger that I couldn’t stop this from happening, anger for the person who did this, and anger for blaming myself for this. I should be laying on the ballroom floor with an arrow to the heart and a knife wound to the throat dead, not them, never them. I sat on the floor next to my parents, sprayed with blood and cried for what seemed like hours until I finally came to my senses, stood up, and cleaned my face sprayed with blood with some napkins nearby. Then I decided to look around for anything that could tell me who my parents' murderer is. There must be something in this ballroom that tells me who the murderer is or who that stranger is, I thought to myself as I walked about the cleared out ballroom.
Some people hate skeletons because they remind them of their dead relatives corpses. But it’s the season of October and Halloween is finally here, where other people like to dress up in spooky costumes and decorate their houses in spooky decorations, and for Skull the skeleton Halloween is the perfect time to walk around the town of Hollowsville and trick or treat. Instead of eating regular meals like humans Skull only eats candy and sleeps until it’s Halloween. Skull happily goes from door to door saying “trick or treat” and receiving candy, suddenly it started to rain. Skull hates the rain because it ruins his candy and his mood. He finds an umbrella nearby, opens it, and starts walking home. When he got home he looked at his candy, luckily some of it wasn’t ruined and he was happy again. Skull then spent the rest of his Halloween night eating the good non-ruined candy from is bag with a cup of pumpkin spice latte to wash the candy down, and a huge happy smile on his face.
In the year 3046 humans have explored and created technologies beyond their capabilities. Some of these technologies got so dangerous that the humans who created the robots decided to develop a new kind of robot that looks like a giant spider to maintain the chaos of the other technology creations. That creation got corrupted as well and turned against the humans killing most of them. The humans ended up creating weapons capable of killing the corrupted robots but the “Arachno-bot” as they called it was so giant and powerful that the humans couldn’t defeat it no matter how hard they tried. Every human died in the battle and the world quickly turned to dust and chaos. Now the Arachno-bots ruled the world and the humans were never seen from again.