(this doesn’t really go with the prompt!)
I chose you. I chose you, And that should mean something. It was like picking a flower. But not because you’re beautiful, Or smell nice. It was because you made me feel something, As a flower does. Though, in the end, The flower dies. Similar to the love I had For the idea of you and I. I chose you. I chose you, And that should mean something. Though, in the end, It really meant nothing.
A sanctuary can be anywhere. Just a place where you feel safe. Where you feel a home. It where you don’t need to constantly feel conscious of your surroundings, you know it’ll protect you. It can be a person, it can be a place. It just has to be something that makes you feel more than ordinary, something that elevates you to feel extraordinary. And if you haven’t found that, it’s okay, you may never. A sanctuary is a rare state, but if you find it you should hold on and never let go.
You’re the ocean. May seem like a strange comparison, But you are. I could drown in just the idea of you alone. I’d go out too far. So far I can’t stand. Just because it’s you. I’ll stay till I sink. And when I sink I’ll be sinking in you. As long as it’s you. Sinking deep. But it’d be so thrilling, And so exciting That I’d forget to come up for air. And simply just drown in you. The ocean, My ocean.
It’s finally happening. It’s all becoming real. The things that everyone said was just me. Just me overthinking, Thinking the worst. Constant negativity. But this time the worst happened. This time all my overthinking was worth it. Me being negative finally paid off. And all those optimistic losers never saw it coming.
It’s like I’m drowning. I can’t seem to do anything right. In everyone else’s eyes I may be a monster. But to me, I’m my hero. I was the one who saved myself. From drowning. From hurt. From letting everyone stomp all over me. It may seem selfish, but these days I only care about myself. Because if I don’t, I’ll start sinking all over again. And I don’t know if I can save myself again.
“She’s rude.” Lie. “She hates everyone.” Lie. “She’s not who she’s says she is.” That one’s true. I say I’m fine. I say I’m good. But you know what? I’m not. It may be unreasonable, It might not make sense. On paper my life is perfect. And maybe it is, Maybe It’s just me. I’m the one that ruins my oh so perfect life, And ruins it all.
It all eventually fell into place. First we were friends. But then we weren’t. And now we’re something extraordinary.
First we were friends. Then it all fell apart. And now we’re something extraordinary. Friends to enemies to lovers is what we are.
Then it all fall apart. We couldn’t even be in the same room for a time. Friends to enemies to lovers is what we are. It’s strange how labels can change so quickly.
I wish I had never let go. Everything about you. But mostly the idea of what we could be. I held onto it for a long time. I may have loved you. I know now that you never felt the same way, But what I regret the most is thinking you might. Letting go and realizing tore me apart. You were the only one I could truly image being mine. Now looking back, I wish I had never let go of that hope.
Why did I ever like you? That’s been my question since I realized. Realized you never liked me. Realized you had horrible beliefs. Realized you were stupid. If I could ask my past self anything, I’d ask her that. But the thing is, She’d ask me, “How could you not?” He was sweet and likeable until it all went crashing down. Maybe I always knew he was terrible. But I can’t help but feeling like I’m upside down.
