I cannot begin to express how happy I am for the bride and groom; two equally beautiful people. They have both taught me countless things in my time of knowing them, and for that I wish them the best in this venture of their lives.
To start, the groom has given me the gift of patience and fortitude. For years I’ve watched him grow closer to the bride that I love, and for years I’ve endured a painful amount of jealousy because of his relationship with her. But I learned to persist and hide my feelings, which, although pain-cashing, I am eternally grateful for
On the other hand, the bride has shown me a mixture of sadness and hopefulness. I knew from the moment we met that I liked her; her smile brightened my day, and her laugh echoed in my mind hours after hearing it. She brought me so much joy... but I was crushed after hearing she was dating someone. My heart broke more once she and the groom got engaged. Now I’m standing here, alone and heartbroken, but still hanging onto a tiny bit of hope.
Perhaps one day she’ll love me like she loves him, but I doubt that. Until then, congrats to the newlyweds.
She stands at the alter, her head held high while trying not to cry. Her soon-to-be husband stands across from her. Their eyes are locked and everybody can feel the amount of love circling between them.
He takes her hands in his and begins to recite his vows, and halfway through some stray tears tumble down her cheeks. She still looks beautiful, though.
Once he finishes, she begins her vows. They’re gorgeous, just like her, and I try my hardest not to imagine myself in her fiancé’s position.
She ends her vows with a clear, “I love you,” and then they kiss. It’s simultaneously the most happy yet sad moment I’ve ever experienced. Happy because it brings me joy to see her so content, but sad because I wish it was me who stood across from her.
The two of them turn to face their wedding guests once the passionate kiss ends, and that is the moment I can almost see their future.
I see their honeymoon: a warm paradise where they spend their days on the beach and evenings dining at expensive restaurants.
I see them buying their first home as newlyweds. It’s small but it’s the start of the rest of their lives together.
And I see them in a hospital, her small frame laying in the white hospital bed holding a newborn baby: their baby.
It’s everything I could’ve wanted with her: marriage, a home, a family, but I know it isn’t mine. I open my eyes and see them smiling at each other like they’re the only two people in the universe.
“She’ll be a great mother.”
If only your adolescent brain could understand that there was more to life than just her.
She wasn’t a graceful flower like all the others, but she held herself with a certain dignity that drew you closer. Her slender fingers were tantalizingly out of reach, so you spent the vast majority of your teenage years chasing even the idea that you could one day intertwine your pudgy fingers with her contrasting skinny ones.
If only you understood that she never thought of you two as more than acquaintances.
While you spent hours a day fantasizing about the future you and her were bound to have, her mind was elsewhere, and her heart was even further away. You were too in love to see her disinterest in you; too in love to see anything but your romance-clouded delusions. You two were barely friends; being lovers was naturally out of the question.
If only you weren’t so keen on falling deeper in love with her each time you saw her.
At first it was simply summer crush: a fling that happened only in the imaginations of unrealistic hopeless romantics, but three years later you still dreamt about her. Your face would still become tinted with a pink hue and your hands would wobble ever so slightly. The more time passed, the more reasons you found to devote yourself to her.
If only you knew how beautiful your love was.
Even though she never loved you back, I wouldn’t change a single thing about those years, because if I close my eyes tight enough and dream softly enough I occasionally catch a glimpse of the future I wish I had with her, and that is all I need to keep surviving for the rest of my life.
As the sun sinks beyond the horizon, so does the last day of summer. A gentle breeze begins to blow, reminding all creatures that autumn has arrived.
The leaves begin to transform as the days shorten; their vibrant greens morphing into dull yellows, reds, and oranges. The world is bathed in a soft citrine light which remains uninvited by most.
Some time later a breeze fills the air, whisking each and every golden leaf carelessly to the ground. It is the season in which leaves of all sizes, shapes, and colors come together to die in unity.
So the leaves stumble into piles and huddle together for warmth. They now accept their destruction but want to be together still -- it can be hard to persist without support of one’s companions.
Another month or so passes and all the leaves are devoid of color. Any prior prejudice has been eradicated by the sudden realization that in the end they all face the same evil: death. So, colorless but closer together than ever before, they degrade, returning to their common ground: Mother Earth.
