⚠️⚠️(THIS WRITING PIECE INCLUDES RELIGION, AND I DONT MEAN TO PUSH MY RELIGION ONTO ANYBODY ELSE, OR ANYTHING OF THAT SORT, ITS JUST MY OWN EXPERIENCE!)⚠️⚠️

I hope you enjoy :))

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Disappointment is my one victory. I’ll continue to plummet closer and closer to purgatory.

Horns sprout from my head. From the thoughts that want me dead.

The one thing I succeed in, is the downfall of others. It’s as if my mere presence smothers.

The voice of angels fall on my deaf ears. Their bright light insist on my tears.

The light is blinding, too much for the human soul. The timer quickening as the radiance of angels takes its toll.

I spread like the plague, full of disgrace. I want to disappear not leaving a trace.

“I mean well!” I say to tired ears. The human is scorned by its peers.

I sprall off alone, away from others. Thoughts of where the girl had gone people wonders.

I sink deeper into the wells. Escape I want, but the darkness prevails.

Deeper and darker my world becomes. To what I wonder, have I succumbed?

A human with a painted face. Horns glued on in disgrace.

“My sin is me!” the human creeds. Falling as tears wept on her knees.

A dark voice rumbles the well. A menacing presence is all that dwells.

“I am the devil, the tempest of sin, for I indulge in this pin.”

I shake and tremble a classic tale. Breathing with a heavy exhale.

“Why? Why have you made me to this state? Why lead me to a bait?”

“A fish I am, temped by your lure. For what I wonder is the cure?”

“The test of will, and faith is done, for you have nowhere to run.”

“You’ve pushed those who love you away, now you remain as my stupid prey.”

I look up to the devil, his tall strength unable to level.

“No one can save you now, everyone is gone, from your own prow.”

I sigh in defeat, walking to the empty seat.

This is where I stay, forever here, unable to stray.

A light appears from my dark dwell. A gleam, or a sparkle, I cannot tell.

A silhouette in the shape of a hand, sitting before me on the dark land.

“I am god, a helping grace. For you my angel, have fallen into a dark place.”

I nod as tears fall down my cheeks, his help is what I truly seek.

The devil intrudes, and steps in the way, blocking me from my God’s bright ray.

“I am the devil, a tale old as time, for this angel, is now all mine.

A sinner is whose she’s become, no longer able to overcome.”

God interrupts with a smiles on his face. “Human, is a but binding lace.

Once torn from the threads of earth, they become their true final birth.

Horns or a halo will appear, but all I hold truly dear.

This one has steered the wrong way, no longer asking to be turned away.”

The devil has lost in the mind of the girl, no longer causing such a devious twirl.

The girl stepped upon God’s great hand, happy she’s escaping the troubling land.

No longer in the pits of hell, she has decided to no longer rebel.

Forever obedient to the hands of god, and with a mighty prod.

She awakes back on earth, all a dream about self-worth.

She decided right there and then, to no longer travel down the dark den.

For hell is a terrible place, always leading away a sad grace.

But under the faith of God, and the ask for help, no more humans can just say, “welp.”

It’s okay to ask to be saved, for God helps all those who ask to be unpaved.

This was my story, my journey with God, and both of my hands pray and applaud. -Ren Avian

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Tweet, tweet goes the cardinal bird. Chirping and chirping is all that’s heard.

The snow is white, winter is here. All the men go grab their gear.

Tweet, tweet goes the cardinal bird. Guns raise high something occured.

Bang! bang! goes the rifle. This is the life cycle.

The snow’s stained red. The cardinal is dead.

All the kids are stuffed and fed.

There is no more Cardinal bird. Chirping and chirping is no longer heard.

Karmas fed and been replaced.
No more luck for the human race.

Tweet, tweet goes the cardinal bird. Chirping and chirping is all that’s heard.

I often think about how you are, how far you are, and if you’re happy with your choice. Are you happy? Everyone claims, “Oh, he’s in a better place,” while holding my shoulder, with a sympathetic smile.

Everytime I seem to mention him, it’s still a sad concept. With a hard pat on the back, they say, “It’ll get easier with time.” Ok, but when?

When will I stop having tears in my eyes at the mere mention of his name? When will I forget the painful memories, and the guilt that it’s my fault?

He told me he loved me romantically for 2 years, and finally confessed to me over a damn discord message at 11PM on a Wednesday night.

Memories like that, still make me smile. His goofy laugh, and messy hair when we would talk over face time. His lazy habits and contagious smile. His comfortable shoulder, always ready for me to cry on. I miss him so much.

He’s gone though. Somewhere in the stars, or above the clouds, I’m not sure. There are so many concepts of where we go after death. Some believe there’s a higher being that creates this world.

Others believe that the world started with a big bang. Life is so complicated and complex. The concept of life and death vary too much from person to person. There is no for sure answer to where we go.

I hope, he is happy, if there’s an afterlife. I pray, he’s not suffering with his choice. I wish, he would have waited to part from this reality, with me.

I can’t change what happened. I don’t have the answers. The millions of questions I ask myself everyday. But the question I’ve asked myself the most, is if I could have done anything to make him stay?

Millions of questions. Would my presence have changed anything? Would the simple gesture of an extra hug, or an extra shoulder to cry on, would have changed your mind? What if the events of the previous day had changed. Would your heart still be stopped? I wonder what your last thoughts were. What transpired that morning. How long did you have a plan? Was it on impulse? Was there some kind of thought that crossed your mind, that if you would’ve pondered on, just a moment more, would you have stayed with me?

You’re irreplaceable. In almost every conversation I have with friends, I see you. I hear you. I picture you there with me. Beside me. I didn’t know what I truly had, until you were gone.

The world has continued on without you. It’s been 1 winter, a long spring, a boring summer, and another fall, without you. So many people go on about their lives, not knowing what the world losses that day.

November 7th, in 2023, at 2:43 p.m., your heart stopped, and you were pronounced dead. The image of your name on that grave, will forever haunt me. 18 days after your 16th birthday, you were gone. Now I’m 17, and alone without you.

I remeber back when I was 12 or 13. It was a hot summer day, and I couldn’t stand the thought of being home. So I was hanging out with a friend. His name was Aspen.

Me and him were out riding bikes. No phones to track us, just off goofing around. I was wearing some dingy clothes my mother had bought at the good will or Facebook market place. It was a worn out rainbow tie dye shirt that had the name of some beach we had never been to on it. Paired with a pair of stained blue jean shorts I had for years. He wore some pair of plaid pajama pants and a black tee with his cat’s hair on it. We rode our bikes together around town, no care in the world. No phones, no parents, nothing but the two of us. Just laughing at the stupidest things. We eventually reached our destination. Together we shared a $10 bill he stole from his mom’s purse. We strolled around our local sureway. We walked to the collection of plants on display outside. I searched through the pretty flowers and succulents, him right behind me while I sniffed and pointed at the pretty pink and purple flowers. He just chuckled to himself at my childish behavior.

We eventually had gone through all the pretty flowers, leaving the boring ferns and bushes. I was ready to go into the stores air conditioning, not bothering to look at the boring plants. But he insisted we looked at them as well. I’m not really sure why he wanted to, but we did.

He looked through the grasses and weeds on display. While I stood behind him, annoyed that he insisted on staying in the hot heat to look at these literal weeds of plants, but I stayed with him.

He eventually came across one little fern, stopping to admire it. There was nothing real interesting about it. Even the pot was boring. But he marveled at it anyways, eventually speaking aloud. “I like this one the most.” I raised a brow. “Why that one? Out of all of the pretty flowers, you pick this boring fern as your favorite?”

He shrugs, not really giving me a valid reason, for choosing this ‘Lemon Grass,’ it said on the tag. “Just cause.” I rolled my eyes and eagerly walked into the cool air conditioning of the store, he followed after me, leaving the fern.

We walked around in the store for a while, relaxing in the cool air. We eventually settled on a snack to share with the $10 he took from his mom. It was a big blue bag of cool ranch Doritos.

Years later, it’s starting to shift to fall and I’m outside on my porch, skipping school cause I’m sick, staring out to my garden. I’m 16 and Aspen passed away last November. Almost a full year ago.

My garden, full of blossoming healthy flowers, and annoying mosquitoes. I’m wearing plaid pajama pants, and a big hoodie, my dog sitting next to me while I just stare at the variety of flowers. Thinking about him, how badly I miss his simplicity to enjoy the smallest, and most insignificant things. Behind me sits a plant I bought back when he first passed away. It was the Lemon grass plant. I came across it while at Lowe’s. The pot was his favorite color. It was white with navy blue accents. The label on the plant was made from some company titled as “Exotic Angel Plants”, and it was his little plant, a lemon button fern.

I look behind me on my porch at the dead plant I failed to keep alive, sitting next to all my thriving flowers and succulents.

I miss him. It hurts not having him by me. I really didn’t know just how much he made me smile and enjoy such simple things in life, until he was taken away.

Rest in peace Aspen, you brought so much joy into this world, and didn’t deserve any of the horrors life threw at you.

The scorching desert is a harsh and unforgiving landscape, a realm where the sun beats down with relentless heat and the air is so dry it feels like it's sucking the moisture out of everything. It's a place where only the toughest creatures can survive. And yet, for the small insects that inhabit this harsh environment, it's the only home they know.

As an insect, every day is a struggle to survive in the scorching desert. From the early morning hours, when the sun first rises, the heat is already intense. The insects must venture out to search for food and water, braving the unforgiving temperatures and the hungry predators that lurk in the shadows.

They move quickly, scurrying across the hot sand, their tiny legs moving in unison as they search for any source of sustenance. They scramble to avoid the scorching heat, using any bit of shade they can find to cool down. But it's never enough. Every step they take feels like a battle against the elements.

As the day wears on, the heat only intensifies. The insects retreat to their burrows, desperate to find any semblance of shelter from the relentless sun. They huddle together, using their bodies to generate heat and stay warm as the desert grows even hotter. And yet, despite their best efforts, they can feel the heat seeping in, draining their energy and sapping their strength.

As the sun begins to set, a small glimmer of hope emerges. The temperature begins to drop, ever so slightly, and the insects feel slightly more comfortable. But they know that the night will be just as challenging as the day, as predators prowl the desert, hunting for food.

And so they continue to survive, each day a hard-won battle against the scorching desert. They must ration their limited resources, conserve their energy, and dodge the dangerous predators that stalk the landscape. It's a life few could imagine, but for these small insects, it's all they know. And though they may be small and seemingly inconsequential, they are fierce fighters, determined to continue their existence in this unforgiving environment.

As the old gods descended upon the world, it was as if time itself stood still. The air was thick with ancient magic, and the ground shook with the weight of their arrival. And with them came monsters from a time before history was written, creatures so powerful they had been lost to the world for millennia.

In the darkness, a battle raged between humanity and the monsters. The humans struggled to defend themselves, but their weapons were no match for the power of the creatures. And then, from the sky, a figure appeared. It was the goddess Athena, and with her came her trusty companion: Medusa.

Medusa, the gorgon, was the mightiest of the monsters, with snakes for hair and a gaze that turned any who looked upon it to stone. She descended to the earth, her eyes blazing with rage, and the humans trembled at the thought of her wrath.

But Athena was not about to let Medusa run rampant. She stood in front of the humans, her spear at the ready, and challenged the gorgon to a fight. The battle was fierce and merciless, but in the end, Athena prevailed. She struck Medusa with her spear, and the gorgon crumbled to dust, never to rise again.

And with that, the old gods departed, and the monsters were no more. The battle was won, but the memory of it would haunt the humans for generations to come.

When trust is broken, the sound pierces the heart. It's like a shattering glass, a thousand shards that fall apart. It's the sound of a promise broken, a bond that's come undone. It's the sound of faith in ashes, a dream that's been undone.

It's the sound of doubt and disbelief, a wound that cuts so deep. It's the sound of disappointment, like an avalanche at our feet. It's the sound of our worst fears, a nightmare come to life. It's the sound that leaves us powerless, a pain that's hard to erase.

But let us not forget that trust is not a fragile thing, It's like a diamond, hard-won, and can withstand anything. Let us pick up the pieces and hold them close to our heart, For trust is a treasure that can never be torn apart.

I took a deep breath, easing my nerves slightly.

Breathing in, I slip on my solid red dress. It hugs my curves, yet it’s easy to move in. The gala is a fancier occasion, so I have to look like I fit it. The sound of the black latex gloves smack against my skin.

No fingerprints will be left behind, no evidence. As I grab my small bag of items to help aid me in my mission, I look in the mirror for any last fixes. Tucking the loose strands of hair out of my face, and I open the door and walk out.

I make my way to the gala. My mission is to swap the data codes, and avoid any other spy’s, simple enough. Just don’t get caught basically. That’s a piece of cake, I’ve done this line of work for over 7 years. I’ve got this.

I’m under the cover of night, and I fit in with the crowd. My outfit isn’t over the top, yet I don’t look real simple. A perfect blend of fitting in the crowd.

I smile as I, slowly make my way to the security room. Guarding the security room stand 2 security guards. They look easy to get rid of.

I take a breath, suck in my stomach and stick out my chest. I sway my hips as I walk tword the two guards. They go goo-goo eyes in response as I lead them into another room, just to knock them out with a quick blow to the neck.

I drag their unconscious bodies into a nearby closet. Hiding them out of sight. Then I quickly make my way back to the security room. Unlocking the door with the key I stole out of one of the security guards pockets. With a click of the door, it was unlocked.

I quickly make my way inside the room as it revealed a space filled with screens and monitors with security camera footage all in motion. “Shit, if they were to replay they could see me knock out the guards.”

I hastily delete any footage that would prove my existence, and switch the codes to the presentation the host of the gala planned to present later on. Changing the data, with the provided USB. 5 minutes pass and the old data is erased and the new is placed.

I completed my mission. Everything was set into place, all that was left was for me to get the hell outta there. I take the USB with the old data and shove it into my purse pocket. Slipping out the door I quickly head back into the main room.

Turning a corner, I’m met with a tall, pale skinned man with oak brown hair and sun kissed freckles sprinkled across his cheeks. His ruby red eyes met with my blue ones. I give a quick smile and begin to walk past him before he blocks my way.

Responding with a puzzled and frustrated look, he leans down to my levle. Nose to nose, he whispers, “Hello Mrs.Abigail, fancy meeting you out here instead of the main room.” He smirks, eyes plastered onto mine.

I give a nervous chuckle. Fixing my posture, I reply, “Uh yes, I was looking for the ladies room.”

He looks back at me, suspense taking the high note.

“May I ask how you know my name?”

He smiles, showing his snow white teeth. “We’re from common backgrounds, you and I. Im somewhat surprised you don’t know my name.” His piercing red eyes stab a hole through me.

“Im sorry I don’t. But if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to the main room.” This time I shove my way past him in a rush to leave this manner.

He watches me as I leave, his expression matching to a sad puppy that was told no to a walk.

I giggle slightly, a small show of red spread among my cheeks.

I leave the manner quickly. Succeeding in my mission. Wondering when the next time I’ll run into the boy with piercing red eyes.

The warm summer air felt heavy, heavy with the promise of a thunderstorm.

Wind chimes played melodies through the breeze, each note more haunting than the last.

The humidity thickened, and my hair began to curl in response. All the loose strands growing shorter.

I breathed in the sharp scent of ozone, signaling the approaching storm.

In that moment, it felt as if the air held its breath, waiting to hear for the first crack of thunder.

I could feel the adrenaline surge through my veins.

The thunder storm was coming, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it.

All the warm hues gather at the edge of the horizon The sunset was setting, turning into nightfall.

The warm sunshine slowly faded away into the cooler night breeze. The twilight shined on mine and his shoulders.

Our eyes met as we looked up upon the night sky and it’s stars.

He scooted closer to me and I met him halfway. We opened our arms to each other for warm, I told myself under the cool night. He held me close. In your arms I found my home.