I know I asked

for you to be gone

But the hole I left

from ripping you out

Is gaping so

So open, spilling

I can feel nothing there

I can feel it

I can feel the nothing

A knife to the chest

Probably hurts less

Than sucking all the oxygen

From the room

A slow wither

From something you cannot see

Nor feel

Any longer

Until your lungs crush themselves

I wish you had given me a knife for my ch...

I can’t stop thinking about you

And how you make me feel

Powerless

I wish I could make you feel it too

I want to scream at you

Tell you how I’m truly feeling

Promise you

I won’t stop till you understand

My body wants to take control

When you’re near

Put my hands on your neck

Give you what you deserve

I hope you ache like I ache

I hope you ache for me, because of me....

pink and red

can I be more like them

pretty and angry

sweet and intense

pink and red

can I be more like them

kind while bleeding

soft and violent

pink and red...

Close your eyes!

Apologize!

Get on your knees!

Recant your deeds!

Dear God above

But it was for love

That I was on my knees

Forgive me please

Close your eyes!

Apologize!

For what you wore,

Through church doors!

Dear God, I’m sorry

That I have a body

But it’s all your preachers

Who stare like creepers

Close your eyes!

Apologize!

If it’s not sincere,

God will hear!

Dear God-

I try

But my f...

Some mortalities are bigger than other mortalities.

Our impermanence on this earth,

impending death,

doesn’t feel as daunting

when you notice all the small endings of things

That reflect the beauty of mortality

The trees outside, they have to trim

But now all the sunlight spills right in

through your window

The deer that died, out in the woods

Has fed the mice, the birds, the worms

and kept ...

Nothing feels right these days

When I’m with you or when I’m alone

I try to love my fate these days

But there’s nowhere that feels like home

And,

There’s nothing I can write these days

Cause my pen feels like a stone...

Why do I think I can think my way out?

Why do I think I’m gonna

solve my problems

by rummaging around in my mind

and cooking up some solution

some recipe that will change it all

when all I have are recycled thoughts

a can of beans and a half empty bag of rice

that have been in there for far too long

stirring it all around over and over

like it’s going to suddenly become a piping hot

pot of fi...

I must be lonely’s little secret

cause there’s people

all around

trying so hard to keep it

so all my friends

don’t find out

I must be lonely’s forbidden lover

cause I’m known as

the “good friend”

but at night lonely comes over

and we tangle sheets

in my bed...

I want to feel, I want to know

I want to love, I want to grow

I want to stack up all my feelings and watch them topple to the floor

I want to fight, I want to scream

I want to writhe, I want to dream

I want to put something in a chokehold and tighten up until it bleeds

I want to laugh, I want to cry

I want to live before I die

I want to take a bunch of pictures of how the world seems through m...

I don’t want it there

But it’s been growing

Comfort and Safety try to hide it

Love attempts to smother it with a pillow

But it’s getting big, turning feral,

out of Love’s control

There’s things that I want to do

But I can’t do

For you

Which isn’t entirely true

But it’s growing to feel that way

How long before it’s grown big enough to tear things apart?

Am I being selfish or am I in a cage?

...