Why do I think I can think my way out?

Why do I think I’m gonna

solve my problems

by rummaging around in my mind

and cooking up some solution

some recipe that will change it all

when all I have are recycled thoughts

a can of beans and a half empty bag of rice

that have been in there for far too long

stirring it all around over and over

like it’s going to suddenly become a piping hot

pot of fix-it-all chicken noodle soup

I’m afraid to open up my cupboards

and show anyone the empty shelves

because I should be able to sustain myself

without anyone’s help, anyone else’s ingredients,

anyone else’s input

But I’m thinking in circles,

I’m stirring and stirring

and nothing’s changing

I’d like to change

I’d like to share

but that seems crazy…

maybe I’ll just pray instead

to whatever’s out there

if water can become wine

at least that’ll keep it in my mind