I don’t understand how after many falls I still can’t learn. You would think that after the first guy, who did ungodly things to me touched me when he pleased I would stop looking for love More after the second guy, Who did the same thing and even told me that I was his side piece after 6 months.
And you would think that I would learn to stop catching feelings with people I randomly meet. For the guy I met in college, treated me nothing like a lover but just as if he was my older brother.
For the guys I meet on the internet, one who said who’s intentions were pure and yet still went down on me and yet still left me.
Don’t blame much the next two, One was clear that all he wanted was sex so I made space So I could lay in his bed The other one, unsure yet once again of what he wants, I mean we are just friends I guess but why would you shower me with affection, play your little instruments and the next few days just leave me as if I was never there.
I’m tired… and I’m exhausted So I often question myself because of this Is it me? Is it because I’m not pretty enough? Tall enough? Is it because I am not down for the chase? Is it because I’m not skinny enough?
And hey! at least before you go, just tell me..
Why am I never just enough?
It’s a mystery one that not even the brightest minds could solve
They don’t understand why the young girl in the grip of her hand she had a small gun
Her parents say she was happy Her momma says she was at her best Her dad says she was so smart so strong…
Her friends say that if they knew they would’ve helped her out and her greatest love says that he loves her so much
So why would the cold, heavy metal placed on her head? Who pulled the trigger? Was it her or someone else? Was it her or was it the thoughts?
Because the truth is…
Her mom knew her struggles, yet still scolded her even though she tried her best
Her dad barely knew her, all he knew was that she got into college but that was it, he didn’t even know his daughters favorite color.
Her friends where there when they needed her, but when it came down to the seed the would point at her flaws and judged her. She tried to reach out, only to get shut down.
And In the end, her greatest love… who was never her’s, who laid in someone else’s arms after rubbing it on her face that he in fact had a new girlfriend.
Now again we wonder… Who killed the young girl
TW: suicide
I’ve been walking for 21 years
my feet hurt and the cuts
on my back
from all those daggers
that they threw at you
don’t seem to heal
I’ve been been walking for 21 years
my feelings seem too real
like my anger
and I can’t find a way to heal her
I’ve been walking for 21 years and my efforts were in vain I pushed those satyr man away but like a hurricane when the next year came they did as well
I’ve been walking for 21 years All those friends she made Were really demon made Darling, you were getting played They threw you to the shade you were betrayed and you just obeyed Because that’s what friends are made for..
I’ve been walking for 21 years Never would I have thought that we would sit on this bath tub as you leaned against my chest I should’ve confessed
But I can’t...
Because I’ve been here for 25 years Watching you grow Watching the snow Watching the wind blow, Blowing your hair
It’s crazy to believe that someone like me Could fall that easily
Maybe because it’s deja vu because I see you because I’ve been you
but anyways, I’ll spread my wings I’ll hold your wrists I’ll kiss your cheeks and I’ll bring you home with me
Because I will deliver the message That my greatest treasure Is an angel like me
My friend Alex and I, when it comes to family, we both have different experiences. I come from divorced parents, with three siblings (one being a step sister) on my dad’s side and one on my mom’s side, they’re all much younger then me so I took care of them often and still do. When I explain this to him, being an only child, he just doesn’t understand the big responsibility of taking care of a kid. He mainly just says to ignore them, or complains about me getting upset when I argue with them.
He also doesn’t understand living with divorced parents, he lives with both his mom and his dad and he has never been on the point where he had to chose who to live with.
But I’m glad he doesn’t because unlike me, he has that family bond. He is close to his parents, which are lovely by the way. His mom loves me and treats me as her daughter.
I’m kinda jealous of that bond a bit, I talk with my mom often and we get along and over arguments. But she’s more of my best friend than a parent if that makes sense...
I just wish he didn’t threw away that bond, he is constantly on his games or arguing with them. Hold them close before it’s too late
If your hand could reach inside my heart, what would you do with it? Would you hold it carefully? Or would you drop it just to act playfully? If you drop it, would you help me pick it? or would you leave me by myself ? Would it even break ? Would my heart be like glass? and cut my hands as I placed it back together, or would it be like plastic? Making loud hollow sounds as it hits the ground.
Would you be surprised? Would you be surprised if it breaks after I told you I just placed it together ? would you be surprised if it broke as soon as you touched it? or would you be surprised that it made a hollow sound, as soon it hit the ground showing my feeling of emptiness? Would you be surprised if it was as cold as the snow when you held it?
Either way I know it’s a lot to ask... but help me pick the pieces up, we could use some gloves and stick it back together, warm it up by the fireplace and if you wanna leave by then... let me secure it in my chest.
Please Would you help me ?
I remember the night I met my tall blonde, wavy haired guy with odd colored pair eyes, one green and one brown. He has freckles on his face and dimples only on one cheek, his body is sport like build but he hates doing exercises, in fact he prefers doing video games or cuddling.
It was pretty cold that night, and I was by myself on my way to a school dance. He placed his jacket over my shoulder and asked me why I was so anxious, in an odd accent.
“I don’t really wear dresses” he chuckled and gave me his hand in comfort.
He is caring, and in a way he’s jealous, because he’s afraid to lose people he loves. He’s not over obsessed at all or overprotective type of jealous. He is jealous enough to show people that he has the best woman out there. And he is a gentle man, he opens the doors for you and cooks breakfast everyday.
We got to know each other after that. I learned that he is not from the states, he grew up around France, Spain and Italy so he was successful in four languages. Sadly, due to the loss of his father a few weeks after turning 9 he moved away to the states. Where a sweet old couple adopted him. The couple have many adopted children, and rather get called grandad or nanny instead of mom and dad.
After telling him all of my secrets, and I knew all of his I came to realize... I love him.. but I don’t know his name...
I remember turning to ask his name as we watched T.V, he held a little boy in his hands. Our little boy, who looked just like him. He smiled and scrunched up his nose “I’ve been meaning to ask you the same thing... my name is A-”
The alarm clock rang annoyingly telling me It was time for school. Since then, I’ve seen him every night in my dreams, not bothering to ask his name.
What’s so odd is a while after that in a open college house. I saw someone who looked just like him and he seemed to have recognized me.
If it’s you...
Dear A,
I’m in love with you.
Based on a real story
