The truck screeched to a halt. Noah and I were thrown back, the crowns of our heads slamming against the cold metal. I rubbed my head as I rolled up into a seat.
Noah and I didn’t say a word, just turned to face each other. He nodded. There was a mutual understanding. We must’ve come to a checkpoint. We only had a minute.
The driver was speaking to someone, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. The voices were muffled from under the burlap sack where we had been hiding. I bent low, lifted it slightly, and poked my ear out.
“—hiding anyone?” I caught the end of the guard’s sentence.
“Sir, I say you again, I am day trader. I come to mountain to sell a Askope market. Only animal in zee back - zey will ‘scape.” The driver said in a thick accent.
“Askope.” I turned and mouthed to Noah. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. We were closer to the compound than we thought.
“Zee animals eez awful quiet.” Mocked the guard. I heard him clearly this time. The voice was unmistakable, full of its signature contempt. Jamie was here.
I whipped my head around to Noah. He had noticed too. His jaw clenched as he tightened his hand around his long knife. I pulled my two throwing knives out of my boots. It was all we had.
I heard Jamie’s loud, steel-toed boots clomping towards the back door. The driver quickly open his door.
“Please sir, I tell you—“
I heard the crack of bone and a helpless cry. The man went silent.
I felt a rage I hadn’t felt since Jamie betrayed Noah, Marcus, and I 5 months ago. Marcus had been killed in that fight. I tried to kill Jamie after that, but Noah had pulled me away. We’d been on the run ever since. Jamie had the power of the rulers behind him, but we were the last rebels left who believed we could win back peace for our people. We couldn’t be caught. We knew they would make an example out of us. The people needed hope.
“Three.” Whispered Noah.
I emerged from my murderous reverie and took in what he was saying. There were three distinct voices. Jamie wasn’t alone.
I sighed in frustration. Noah and I were good fighters, but so was Jamie. We had all trained together. It would be better if Jamie and his goons didn’t know we were there.
I put a finger to my lips, signaling to Noah that we should try to hide first. We slowly inched towards the dark corner, where there were burlap sacks of rice that would blend in with the blanket we were under. I quietly pulled a tarp and some rope in front of us.
There actually had been animals in the back of the truck, but most had escaped when we jumped in back at Langstro village. There was only one pig and one goat left, and both seemed to have fallen ill, lying on their sides, eyes open and breathing, but not moving.
The back door was wrenched open.
“These animals are dead, mate.” Said a voice in a cockney accent I didn’t recognize.
Jamie’s heavy boots hopped into the back of the truck, inches from us. I held my breath.
“I don’t care about the animals.” Jamie barked. I heard a pained squeal from the pig. My body tensed up, my hands vibrating with fury. Noah’s cool hand grabbed my wrist, steadying me.
Jamie continued kicking every item in the truck. He grunted in frustration as he violently struck his steel-toed boot against the metal of the truck frame. The sound was deafening. He had a flashlight, and I could slightly make out his towering silhouette through the thick blanket. He hung his head and slammed his fist over and over into the metal, right where I had hit my head earlier. I sucked in a breath.
“They’re not here, mate,” said the man with the cockney accent.
One last kick and Jamie hopped down out of the cab.
“Let’s take his tarp. We could use it at camp.” I heard the cockney man say.
“Then get it.” Jamie said shortly as he walked away. Noah and I looked at each other, our eyes widening with panic. The cockney man hopped back in the truck and roughly grabbed the tarp and rope. Now only the blanket concealed us. We sat as still as possible.
He paused and stood for a second. Then leaned down and started grabbing bags of rice from around us.
This was it. I was ready, knives steady and primed in my hands. The cockney man reached down for the burlap blanket and pulled.
I immediately stabbed both my knives into his feet. He screamed as blood pooled around them. Heavy boots started running back towards the truck. Noah threw the blanket off of us and we sprung up and got moving fast, hopping down from the truck bed.
“It’s them! It’s them!” The man cried through whimpers of pain. There was nowhere to run, we’d have to get the unconscious driver’s keys to get out of there.
I slashed a knife through the arm of the first man who rounded the corner. Noah grabbed the other man by the arm, twisted it around his back, and dislocated it within 2 seconds. I raced around the passenger side of the truck, the opposite to where I’d heard the men running from. As I rounded the front of the truck towards the driver’s side, I was met with a fist to the face. The knives flew out of my hands. I felt my nose break. My vision went blurry..
No. I couldn’t let myself pass out.
I blindly swung back at Jamie, hitting him in the jaw. He growled, and I felt the hard steel of his boot connect with my stomach. I felt my ribs break. I gasped for air and fell to the ground. The pain was indescribable. There was a fury behind that kick that was intensely personal. I’d never experienced such unbridled rage before. I saw Jamie’s foot rear back to kick me again, lining up with my temple. Suddenly, my two knives flew by, one landing deep in Jamie’s lifted thigh, and one through his hand. He screamed in pain, but Noah had tackled him before he could touch the knives. Noah pulled the knife out of his hand and threw it in my direction, then pushed the knife deeper into his thigh. Jamie roared.
He tried to grab Noah by the throat with his uninjured hand, but Noah caught it mid-air, twisting his wrist painfully. Noah was quick, but I had never seen him like this. His instincts were primal, animalistic, fueled by a deep hatred instead of his usual stoic concentration.
From the corner of my eye, I saw one of Jamie’s goons picking himself up off the ground. An ugly red wound slashed across his face, traveling from his forehead, through his eye, and down to a now sheared off earlobe. Blood poured from the wound, flowing down his cheek and saturating the formerly white shirt under his suit. His dislocated right arm hung limp, and there was a bloody hole in his left thigh, but he was slowly dragging himself towards Noah and Jamie. The other man stirred as well. I tried to pull myself up, but my head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. I stayed lying down and used my arms to pull myself towards the knife Noah had thrown towards me. The limping man was focused on his target - he didn’t even bother to glance at me. With every heave, my vision darkened and got smaller and smaller, but I knew where I was going.
My hand closed around the hilt of the knife. My vision went black, but I never doubted my accuracy. I threw the knife with all the strength I had left, and it landed deep into the man’s ankle. I heard the man collapse right before I fell into complete darkness. —————— I felt two sets of hands tight around each of my arms. My wrists and ankles were tied together, like I was about to be roasted on a spit.
I still felt the cool mountain air against my cheeks. I heard a sharp crack and a groan of pain. I dared to squint open my eyes, staying limp in every other way.
Noah was knelt on the ground, his face bloody, his wrists tied together, and with a knife to his throat. Jamie towered over him but Noah never broke eye contact.
“I saved your life.” Noah spat out. “Multiple times actually.”
“I could’ve saved myself just fine.” Jamie said coolly. “Although I suppose you’re right. Maybe I should let you go and just take her.” Noah wrestled violently in the arms of the men holding him. I recognized those two as the men who had been there before. So then who was holding me?
Jamie chuckled, but there was an annoyance in his tone.
“You just wanted to get her out of there so she wouldn’t be killed. So you could have her to yourself.”
“She’s always been the best of all of us. She would’ve killed you. I was showing you mercy, because I hoped there was still some good in you. But she was right. You’re repulsive. You deserve nothing.”
“I’m not repulsive.” Jamie snapped back. “She’ll see that.”
Noah thrashed again, not caring if it was futile.
“You’re threatened by me.” Jamie chuckled.
“No, I’m threatening you. You’re not going to touch her.” Jamie knelt down so he was eye to eye with Noah.
“I always win, Noah. I always win.” Jamie stood up, turned his back to Noah, and walked towards me.
“You’ll never beat her. She’ll kill you.” Noah yelled after him. Jamie waved him off lazily. He walked past me into whatever vehicle I was standing against.
“Take her.” He paused, “…and leave him. I want him to see this.” They pulled me roughly into the car, and before they closed the door, Jamie faced my seemingly unconscious body towards Noah and wrapped himself tightly around me from behind, running his hands all over my body, like he was claiming me as his property. It was nauseating.
But I didn’t struggle. Noah and I knew being captured was a possibility and we had planned for it - although we assumed we’d be together. I’d have to improvise. One of us had to get inside that compound if we had any chance of starting the uprising. He had to remember that.
I thought about what Jamie had said. Is it possible it was true that Noah had only stopped me from killing Jamie to protect me? Because he didn’t want to lose me? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I felt a slight annoyance - did he not believe I was capable of winning?
But there was also a new energy in me. It was…fulfilling. Did I feel something else for Noah as well? I knew there was a strong bond there, but, there was something different about this energy. It made me feel…light. There was less heaviness in my world when I thought of Noah.
This was all coming from Jamie though. I knew better than to believe anything that came out of his mouth. I put it out of my head for the time being. I had to refocus on the mission.
I had to save my people.
At 2am I tell a lie Tomorrow is the day I rise Awake before the sun steals my thunder
But in the darkness of the dawn I choose to keep the covers on The overwhelming peace of sleep wins out
Panic and shame at 2pm “You’re pathetic” repeats again But tomorrow’s hope lives deep in my bones
It’s hard to be inconspicuous when you’re hanging upside down.
I watched their wicked faces contort with laughter. Some of them were doubled over in tears. I tried fruitlessly to pull myself upright. This was supposed to be a private practice. I was gonna show them…
But no, of course not. How could I believe that I, the anemic girl who could only afford wash her hair and clothes once a week, would ever be seen as an equal?
I bit back my tears. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to prove them wrong. I had snuck into the school gym every night this week, spending three hours trying to pull myself to the top of the rope. I’d been so proud of myself today for finally making it past the first knot.
“That’s the best you can do?”** **I heard Katie’s voice below me. I whipped my head down. She was smirking, one hand on the chair I had used to boost myself up to the rope.
“No, please, don’t.” I begged. I had been afraid of heights my whole life and Katie knew that. We had been best friends until middle school, when she began hanging out with the wealthier kids and left me behind.
Katie laughed and dragged the chair to the dark corner of the gym, completely out of reach. I tried to slow my panicked breathing.
“You got up, you can make it back down.” I repeated over and over in my mind.
Suddenly, I heard a cacophony of laughing voices coming towards the gym door.
Katie walked back towards me. I made eye contact with her as she neared the rope. There was a cruelty and contempt in her eyes - gone was the empathetic girl I used to know. I had turned from her tribe mate to her prey.
She grabbed ahold of the bottom of the rope and swung it back and forth, violently. I lost my grip and my head swung towards the ground. I barely hung on, my thighs squeezing the rope for dear life.
Katy let go of the rope as the gym door banged open. The rest of her friends crowded the gym. As soon as they saw me, it was open season.
The laughter was deafening. One of them pulled out their phone and took pictures of me.
“Nice one, Katie!” yelled Nick, the short brunette who never stopped bragging about his dad’s successful tech startup. Katie curtsied and skipped back over.
There was nowhere to hide, I was completely stuck there, a deer caught in the headlights. I didn’t have the strength to pull myself up, and if I let go, I’d fall and hit my head. I closed my eyes and tuned them out until their voices were a dull roar, hoping they would get bored and leave soon.
But it was never-ending and eventually, my thighs started to slide down the rope. My feet and hands were going numb and my legs were shaking. I tried one last Hail Mary.
“HELP! HELP!!” I screamed as loud as I could. Their faces changed.
“Shut up!” yelled the big, dumb muscle of the group, Ken. But I didn’t.
“HEELLLPPPP!” I yelled louder.
He started towards me, but Nick held him back.
“Dude we better go. We can’t get caught. My dad will kill me if I get expelled.”
That gave me some confidence. I screamed louder and louder, using all of my energy.
“HELLLPPP! HELPPPPP! HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!”
They all jumped at the sound of loud feet storming down the hall, and bolted through the emergency exit door. I let out a shaky sigh of relief, and finally let myself cry.
The door slammed open. It was Coach Carr, my PE teacher and coach of the girl’s varsity soccer team. He quickly ran over to me.
“Let go, I’ll catch you.” He said calmly.
“No no no no, I can’t move. I can’t move.” I panicked. I could still see how far the ground was below me.
“You can do it. Take a deep breath.” He said, encouragingly.
My left thigh began to slip lower. I clamped onto the rope tighter, my whole body shaking and burning, and took a deep breath.
I felt the relief of his arms a moment later, realizing I had done it. I had jumped.
“Nice one, Syd!” He said with an enthusiasm I hadn’t heard before. He gently laid me down on the ground.
“Don’t get up yet. You’ll get dizzy.” He sat cross-legged next to me and we waited in silence for a minute.
“I should probably suspend you for sneaking in here.” He said. I looked over in panic, ready to plead, but he continued,
“But I’m proud of you, Syd. You’re a good kid. Next time, just ask for help if you need it. Before you end up slipping off a rope 10 feet off the ground.” he added with a mock scolding tone.
“Thanks Coach.” I said quietly. It was the first time anyone had told me they were proud of me.
“Now let’s get you home.” He offered me his hand and pulled me up. He held my shoulders while I steadied myself, and we slowly made our way out of the school, where I had gone in feeling like a loser, and left feeling hopeful. All things considered, that night was a win.
Long, grey scuff marks marred the white leather that surrounded the patterned, dull beige canvas. The canvas itself was littered with faded, light pink watermelon slices, half rubbed away inside deep, permanent crinkles. The matching laces, both frayed and one missing its aglet, spewed dust into the air under the friction of her tightly lacing them up. The brown rubber soles were mainly rubbed smooth, but the corners of her heels revealed evidence of the zigzagging grooves that once existed.
We ran aground when we hit the estuary. Captain Mead’s eyes widened as the ship crashed into the shallow rocks at the mouth of the river. I turned away to hide my disdain.
I had opposed the decision to head north, but he had overruled me. He was stubborn, and his pride had now left us all stranded at god knows where. I had tried to get the crew on my side before we departed Port Nolte. I had explained to them that we had to travel east to make it to the fortress in time to save the others. But they argued amongst themselves for too long. It seemed me and Captain Mead were the only decisive ones aboard this ship, and he was the one at the helm. At least for now.
Latch onto your chest Drape my legs across your lap So you know I’m yours
Butterfly kisses I trace from your jaw to ear Whisper “I want you”
My vanilla scent Overwhelms your self-control Turns your eyes to black
You spin me around Forget uneaten pizza Trade for salty skin
No past and future Surrounded by fairy lights I only see you
I watched as the beautiful, brunette woman calmly pressed one black stiletto onto the gas pedal. Her facial expression was one of nonchalant determination. There was no evidence of any nerves on her part, whereas my brow dripped anxious sweat watching her relaxed focus.
The bullzoer eased forward smoothly and soon she was turning in perfect circles, and pressing the correct buttons at the correct times. Buttons I didn’t even know existed. This woman knew what she was doing.
She pulled the bulldozer back into the exact spot she started in and hopped out, landing evenly on both heeled feet.
As she walked towards me and the hiring manager, she smiled. The manager did not smile back.
Soon, I was inside the bulldozer, my brow dripping even more sweat than before. The ride did not go well. I ended up going in the wrong direction several times, starting and stopping suddenly, and at one time, releasing the large shovel, or whatever it was called, while I was moving, dumping dirt onto one of the other employees. I jerked to a stop as close as I could get to the woman and the hiring manager, which was several feet in front of them. I hopped out and tripped, landing on my side.
I pushed myself up and walked towards the hiring manager, staring down in embarrassment. When I got close enough to him, he clapped an arm on my shoulder encouragingly. I looked up to see him smile.
“Nice driving man, you’re hired.” I stared at him in disbelief, as did the woman.
The hiring manager turned towards the woman.
“I have a job for you too, sweetheart. There’s a teapot in the break room. You can serve me in my office.”
She rested her stinging cheek against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall. There was a relief, like rubbing vaseline on an open wound. She closed her eyes and heard the hum of the air filter, quickly unfogging the small space from her scalding shower.
She knew that when she opened the door, she wouldn’t see his navy blue sheets tucked neatly around his full bed, or the breathtaking view from his wide window onto the river, or him in his black boxers, laying back on the brown leather couch, waiting for her head to replace the book in his hands.
She would feel the unpleasant shock of the frigid AC as soon as she stepped onto the old green carpet of her new, borrowed room. She had become hyperaware of how permanent her goosebumps felt now. He was her only warmth, her only home.
Before the thoughts could overtake her again, she abruptly stood up and ran out to the worn, antique dresser. She opened the top drawer and quickly slipped on his familiar, oversized white t-shirt that she had yet to wash. She jumped under the blinding white bedsheets of her new, king-sized, four-poster bed. She curled up, hugging her knees to her chest, unable to keep her body heat from dissipating quickly. As was usual for the past two weeks, she shivered until her body ran out of energy to keep her eyes open. She hoped for a never-ending sleep. She was only at home in her dreams.
