Roses are red,

My memes are all dead,

The fear of getting WWlll drafted fills me with dread.

The jokes on you,

For what you do

has no effect on me

You see I don’t live in the land of the free.

I live in England with Tea and Brexit.

Now I will make an exemplary exit.

So next time you blow up a leader of war,

Don’t come knocking on my fucking door.

Follow me on tiktok

...

Merry Christmas is normally said this time of year but the only thing that I say is, “what?”

And that, my dear reader, is why I’m going to become a real life grinch and cease Christmas forever. If you don’t like it, you can pay pal me 2k. ...

December 23rd

Hey, I’m Jingle. If you’re reading this then you’re a nosy asshole and I respect you. But if I find out who you are I’ll shoot you and your wife.

Anyway, Christmas has been pretty rough this year. These kids have been little pricks and keep asking for more and more each year.

Who the fuck do they think we are? A charity?

Little Timmy’s in the shock of his life when he see’s tha...

So you’re probably reading this and thinking, who the fuck is this ass hole? Well, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Alex Roman, a millionaire player. I get all the girls and guys I want when I want. Why? Because I’m rich and your not, dipshit.

My life was going perfect. I had everything I wanted! Hookers, money... more hookers. You know? Classy shit like that. But then that fucking ass hole too...

“Miss Sullivan!” Called out the old, boring English teacher.

“What, Sir?” Replied Constance Sullivan. Her face was stuffed with her favourite food, rice pudding.

“Put that bloody rice down and sort your tie out. It’s all over the place-“

“A bit like your eyebrows, sir,” she reached into her back pack and pulled out some tweezers. “You ever seen these before?” She called out. She lifted the twee...