Ariadne

I’ve experienced it all, and experienced it all alone. I’ve always found poetry to be a good stress relief. If nobody else understands me, the paper always will. Thank you for you time, I am open to all feedback and criticism.

Ariadne

12

Ariadne

1 min read

I was 12 the first time i had thoughts

Laying in bed staring at the moon nightlight on the wall

Wondering if should do it or not

I was 17 when the thoughts came back

Blame it on the loneliness, maybe because dad died

But everyday was another anxiety attack

I was 22 when the thoughts beat me once more

The assault, the betrayal, the loneliness, the pain

Its like I was unable to move, glued to the floor

Like I had died but my body didn’t die with me

I couldn’t pull the trigger, I couldn’t take the pills

Why is this my life, is the how it will always be?

I was 23 when I finally came clean

Trauma therapy, acceptance, a self love journey

Can’t help but wonder how life would be had I come clean at 18

I’m 24 now and I finally the chills have stopped

I am still alone

I was once so sad, so alone, so lost, my heart perpetually dropped

I am a work in progress

But I am here

God Help Me

Ariadne

1 min read

Earthquakes no longer feel so foreign to my body My mind shifts like the plates My mind My bones My skin Everything is changing Everything is falling The damage is done I try to rebuild
The shifting starts again More violent More intense More devastating How do you build a solid foundation on cracked ground How do you plant a garden in contaminated soil How do you fix something that God herself can’t

Poetry

Were all connected

Ariadne

1 min read

Poetry

Dad

Ariadne

1 min read

It’s been 5 years now

I look into the mirror and I see you Im a version of myself I’ve never seen before Lifeless, empty, sad Grief strikes, I go and look at the most recent photos of you and you look like me Lifeless, empty, sad I look at older pictures and we look nothing alike You’re happy, your eyes shine, your smile is genuine What happened to you? How did i not notice? Was I so caught up in my own life that I couldn’t look into your eyes? Then I realize the same thing is happening to me Yet nobody asks me, nobody cares I look at myself in the mirror and see a shell of a human Is this how you felt? Is this why you died? Sometime it would be easier to be dead The emptiness Ive felt all these years is almost unbearable It brings me physical pain to know you died with the light already gone Did you feel empty too? Did you drown yourself in alcohol too? Did you seek attention from people to fill the void? Were you lucky enough to chose the right people? You and I didn’t experience the same things Yet our eyes tell the same story Oh the stories we could tell each other I wish I could talk to you Get some advice feel heard, less alone I’d tell you that we are going to be okay That the feeling won’t last forever But then I realize that for you, the feeling did The emptiness won.

Poetry

Happiness Vs. Joy

Ariadne

1 min read

I’d like to think that anyone is capable of feeling happiness A feeling that merely pleases, an outward expression, a smile on your face that fades away A stranger gives you a compliment on your new jacket The morning air is crisp and you have a warm blanket over you after a great nights sleep A strangers dog runs towards you in the park, smiling as if he’s known you his entire life That’s happiness Joy on the other hand, I feel that only the luckiest get to experience Euphoric Your soul smiling It’s something I don’t think I’ve ever experienced but how I imagine it Your baby taking its first steps Coming home from a trip to someone waiting at the airport completely ecstatic to see you Walking in the door after work to someone to greet you and show how much they missed you Finally reaching the goal you’ve been working towards your entire life Happiness is an outward emotion that doesn’t last forever while joy, joy touches your soul