It’s the ones who stay That make the unbearable Worth bearing at last.

It is too cold here But fire and a good friend Insulate the heart.

Finally we had found refuge. My old dog decided the...subway train, I believe these were called...was safe. She turned three times around, and fell asleep. I was exhausted as well, but sleep eluded me.

We had been traveling for days, trying to stay on the low, knowing that if we were caught I’d have to go back to the mines. I couldn’t live underground anymore, now that I have seen green things. My old dog would be sent to the kitchens, and she was the only being I could call a friend.

I tried to recall what I had heard about the Time Before, when humans lived above ground. There was war, strife, hunger, and the surface became inhospitable. So humans move underground, where we had lived for centuries. Told that the surface was deadly. Perhaps it was, perhaps it had healed. All I knew, I wasn’t going back.

The fire warmed my hands, soothed me. I would worry about where we would get food tomorrow, today we were fed. Old Dog had caught some sort of grey fuzzy creature, and I cleaned and cooked it. It wasn’t much, but it kept the hunger at bay. This train would be a good shelter for now. The rain even stayed out of the end of it.

I wondered if they would come after me, or even notice I was gone. There were many workers in the mines, and I was no one special. Never spoke out, didn’t make waves. I just slinked out on day, and didn’t look back. I’m not sure what I left, I just saw the chance.

I looked at Old Dog, and thought about when we had met, shortly after I surfaced. At first, I had no idea what she was. An old children’s tale of a big bad animal and a red clothing came to mind, but she seemed friendly. She had wagged her tail, and licked my face. A dog! I had heard of these creatures. I was glad we had met. I didn’t feel so alone. But it was odd, I started to think, that she didn’t attack when we met, that she was tame.

Wait. How did it take so long to figure this out? If Old Dog knew I was a human, and knew humans here friends of dog, then that must mean there were still humans on the surface. Do I seek them out? Would they send me back? I curled my legs around me, realizing my world just became a great deal larger and more dangerous than I thought.

And I was looking forward to exploring it.

At night they come for him; at night they hunt him; at night they hunger for him. I am his Guardian and I will fight to my last breath. But I cannot fail him, because I am the last Guardian, the last of my blood to still walk with him, he who will bring joy to my cramped and comfortable surroundings. I curl up toward the warmth of the fire as the sun sets, cascading long narrows beams into our home. It will not be long until the sun is gone once more, and I must protect him at all costs.

The off white pillar candle stays upright as the burning wick flickers violently threatened by the wind. It has been three years since this part of the subway got condemned and as the years have passed the place becomes more fragile. The whole back end of the cart is completely missing, the cracks in the overhead concrete allow the rain to pass down from above solemnly hitting the tin roof. Have you ever heard the rain hitting a tin roof? Firstly it’s just noise, then it becomes much more, it becomes music. It takes you away to places your mind wants to visit, away from the cold and loneliness. I’ve discovered rain brings me happiness and memories, so I don’t mind the echos of water dropping around me. Looking around here it’s hard not to sigh, I’ve given up reading the graffiti lined walls or caring how brittle my surrounds are, I don’t see the broken glass windows or decaying fabric seats all I see is the last day I saw her. Her red painted nails were visible as she grasped my hand in hers, dragging me down the subway stairs laughing at me every time she looked over her shoulders.God, I loved when she smiled. The way her lips lifted upwards at the corners displaying these tiny dimples made my heart skip a beat every damn time. The fact she hated those dimples, her long brunette hair or even how tall she was just made her even more beautiful in my eyes. We scrambled through the doors just as they were closing and i sat on the nearest seat pulling her onto my lap before grilling her about where she was taking me. I have always hated surprises, well since I was six and my mother ordered a clown instead of a magician for my birthday.Maybe a clown doesn’t sound scary but a few nights before I’d watched the film IT and i was scarred for life. So yes, surprises never sit well with me.The last thing I remember is staring at her as she giggled and hid her face in an attempt to not give any details about the day she had planned away. My focus was always on her. Always. Anyone could have walked into the cart and my eyes would have still been fixated on her. That’s why I didn’t notice the man entering our cart. That’s why I didn’t notice him stand up and detonate a home made bomb he had strapped to his body. Fucking coward! We both died that day, yet I’m the one still here. Believe me if I could change that I would, I’d die a thousand deaths so she could live. I sit on the cold damp floor and cry. I’m not afraid of anyone seeing me cry, there’s no bravado with me I just feel like being here she sees me, she hears me. When Leo’s ears pin up- i know she’s here.“I’m sorry”I whisper.

A chilling wind howled through the night, careening through the broken windows, rustling an old abandoned newspaper. Dense trees thrashed wildly against the train walls, scratching against the shattered panes with their wooden claws. As the rain thundered relentlessly against the roof of the carriage, a steady stream of water leaked through the ceiling onto the damp carpet inside. Cowering beneath the windows were rusted seats that would have long ago carried people — but now the only passengers they had were thick patches of musty green moss.

He had been there for so long, he had almost forgotten what the train had been like before the Earth had claimed it as her own. Vaguely, he recalled sounds of chatter, laughter, hurried footsteps along the aisle, parents scolding raucous children, and the cheerful panting of a dog.

He smiled, glancing at the faint outline of his furry companion sleeping soundly on the ground. Even now, Sadie had never left his side. He remembered how he would take her along with him as he made his rounds on the train. Seeing the brief joy she brought to his passengers' otherwise mundane journeys was something he would never be able to forget.

How many years had it been since then? He shuddered as memories of that fateful day began to resurface unbidden — the day the train had abandoned the tracks and flown into the forest's open arms.

His pale, shaking hands grasped desperately at the translucent wisps of his hair, trying to uproot the memory from his very soul, but to no avail. Sorrow and frustration hung like lead in the place where his heart once beat.

The train was no longer his; it hadn't been for a long time. His passengers had since moved on, but he had not. He could not. His guilt tied him to the vehicle like an anchor. He could never leave this place.

4/25/XXXX • Day 103

Journal, It is now day 103 in this hellish wasteland. I suppose I have it better than some of the other survivors I’ve come across, with Peak by my side and a roof over my head. Still, it’s not easy. I can tell that this train car won’t last all too much longer. It was old from the start, but the constant attacks from the zombies and the odd weather patterns have caused it to deteriorate much faster than I would’ve hoped. The wood I’ve been using to cover the windows is unfit to be used anymore, just barely enough for kindling in the fire. I’ll have to get more soon. Rain keeps coming in through the cracked windows, and the wind from the storm blew that one newspaper onto the floor. I’ve read that paper so much I think I can recite it from memory. There’s a leak in the ceiling, and it’s certainly a cold night. But, the fire is keeping me warm, and as long as I can hear Peak’s soft breathing I won’t be alone.

I wonder what ever happened to the military? I heard on my radio that they would check the area for survivors, but I haven’t seen any soldiers, nor heard a single word of them. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I’m starting to suspect something that makes my heart sink.

It’s been awhile since I saw another survivor, as well. Last time I believe it was the first of this month. I had ran into him while scoping the area. He didn’t seem in much mood to fight; rather, he instead traded me a few cans of food for my extra dagger. Not much of an exchange, but it’s nice to see that there’s still some good left in the world.

Daily Reminder: Barricade train door before you go to sleep.

I can’t really think of much else to write for today, so I suppose this wraps up today’s entry.

-Mike

The blood was coming slower now. The fever was setting in. ‘Just a little further’ I grit my teeth. ‘Please...one last look...just one more’ The old subway cart pulls into view. My walking slows but it helps me keep quite. I peak through the door one last time. Eli is jabbing the dim fire with a stick as Cammie lies near by. Her eyes meet mine and her tail weakly waggles. My tears burn my eyes as my vision wobbles. ‘I’m so sorry old girl I’m so sorry. ‘ My heart is trying to tug it’s way out of chest so it can run over and hug my love one last time. But it’d be too dangerous. Shaking my head, I quickly scribble my feelings on the back of one cereal boxes I scavenged. So much to say, so little time. No time. I pack my pact down with my gun. And run. The pain is beyond terrible. The bites tear wider as I run but I have to get away! I hear my name called and Cammies barks as my vision goes creamy. The ladders right there. Please Eli, stay back. I’m sorry. My legs stop. I’m trapped in my own body. I hear their footsteps. No. Please. Don’t do this. Eli, I’m sorry.

I’m not sure what this pictures of, a dark tunnel with a light at the end ? my iPhone 5s screen is too small to comprehend, and render the image in a size that’s observable, in the future a zoom feature would be preferable