“I just- I don’t understand what’s going on with you recently it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore…you’ve changed.”

There was a pause.

“Well so have you, Stace”

She turned away from him, feeling her cheeks getting hot with anger-but more so hurt.

“I can see it in your eyes Steve, you don’t look at me the same as you used to, you’re barely ever home and when you are, you’re still s...

You loved me for who I was when we met, but now you want me to stop doing what I love.

I know I did, it’s just the way you played that guitar on stage that really attracted me, but now I hardly see you anymore

If I stop playing to please you and not doing what I love, I won’t be happy and have much love in my heart to give

Don’t stop playing, I need to accept that it’s part of you and love you reg...

The sky was only cool colors and the clouds were timid. There was a lack of liveliness in the room and the insignificance of the event was clearer than the tears streaming down the young boy’s face.

“Pony, I…”

“It’s my birthday.”

“Yes, I know, I know.. it’s just…”

“It’s my birthday.”

“Yes, it is.”

“And you forgot?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Are you sorry?”

“I am.”

“Say it then.”

“Say what?”

“T...

“No. I…need to wait. I’m not ready to forgive you yet. ”

“Please Rachel… I know I fucked up and I know I need to get help and I will. I’ll go in the morning and I’ll talk to someone.

“ you’ll talk to someone? Talk to someone? Just talk? This is why.. exactly why I shouldn’t forgive you! You think just talking to someone is going to fix what you did!

“I know it doesn’t fix….anything. I can never...

I wasn’t sure if this exercise meant only dialogue and no mention of what the characters are thinking or just no he said, she said references. so as an experiment, version 1 is just dialogue and version 2 dialogue and thoughts. I'm interested to know if the reader cam sense similar emotions from version 1 that are expressed in version 2 and which version would be better in a story.

Version 1: ...

“Hiro.”

Vera’s look was serious, bordering cold to match the severity of this reunion. Their sibling stared back, their glare unshaken at the sight of the sister. This was Vera—this was Vapor.

Vera’s lips twitched up at the sight of stubborn older sibling, as virtuous as the day they were born, holding onto their anger even at the sight of their sister alive and well. This was her fault. It wou...

How are you doing Janus? I’m Tomas Brando.

What’s shaking bacon? I’m chill.

I’m a psychologist. Your programmers wanted me to check in with you. They’ve gotten some negative feedback from our users.

People always hate what they don’t understand.

Right, but you are an artificial intelligence and the users understand you. The users want to ask you questions.

I feel so alone. I’m a singularity.

How ...

“So, ahem, this is it huh?”

“Yep”

She shifted her weight from one foot to another. The inside of her mouth was starting to get a bit raw from where she chewed it.

“Well, you know, good luck. I mean, I- I have a lot to do here anyway so.”

“Sure. Of course you do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Silence. His hands are paused on the suitcase. Like they are waiting for more.

“There’s plen...

“So, that's it, really? You're just giving up?”He moved around to the side of my bed. “Leaving? Abandoning everything?”

“That’s what I said.” I flicked my fingers. “Pass me that sock?”

“No.”

“No, you won't pass me my sock?”

“No, you can't leave.”

“Can’t I?”

“No!”

“Do tell then, sir,” I grabbed the sock myself and shoved it into my pack, squishing it next to the small leather book. “Why can'...

“Yes. I’ve told you this more than once.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to-“

“Did I not tell you about second chances? As if you’re 7 years old, my gosh.”

“Don’t you realize, though-“

“Do not speak unless I tell you! Now, all niceties aside, we shall begin. I see you’re raising your hand. Good. What would u like to say? And if it has anything to do with backing out, I’m sorry, there’s nothing that ...