The man that looked back at me in the mirror is a shell. A husk of what I use to be. Nothing mattered anymore, not after she left.
She was always right there, right across the hall from me. Her golden hair that smells of sunflowers and vanilla, her honey brown eyes that warm me from a far, and her olive skin that’s heavily speckled to appear as marble.
She has the kindest heart, and always puts others before her. That’s how we met, I was on my way back from the market and tripped. Spilling the contents of my grocery bags.
“Oh my goodness! Are you alright?” She knelt in front of me, her voice was that of an angel, sweet and innocent. She was dressed in black tights and thick heeled Dock Martons. Her skirt was a dark forest green plaid with black tool underneath. Her sweater was cream colored and was long sleeved, the neck was very high and was flush to the bottom of her head.
She began to gather the fruit that hit the ground. _Don’t touch it, it’s ruined and it might ruin you. _I thought, her delicate hands carefully filled the reusable bag like she was playing a game of Tetris.
“I’ll be alright,” looking back to see what I tripped over, and it was none other than my shoe laces. “Darn things won’t stay tied.” Mumbling, I began to pack the other bag.
We reached for the same can of soup, my hand overlapped her’s and I felt my heart stop beating for a moment. She was so soft, so warm in my large hands.
“Oh, sorry!” My hand withdrawns quickly.
“Don’t be sorry!” She laughs, and it was instantly my favorite sound in the world. “It looks like your shoe came untied, let me help you with that.” She goes around me, I flip over onto my backside, and she instantly has my shoe in her lap as she reties the laces.
“Oh Miss, you’ve done so much already,” I’m grateful for her help but for her to do this felt like I was taking advantage of it.
“It’s quite alright, I know a few tricks when it comes to extra long laces like these.” Please don’t stop talking. I pleaded in my head, her voice was smooth as silk and left me starving for more. It wasn’t more than a few minutes that she stood, dusting off her tights and readjusting her sweater and shoulder bag.
“Thank you, Miss.” my hand out stretched to hers to show my gratitude.
“Talihya Griffon, and you are?” She took my hand gently. I was so scared to close my own in case I broke her.
“Oh uh, Micah Allenson.” She gave a kind smile to me, my cheeks turning hot. I broke the hand shake, grabbed my things, and turned to head inside, “it was nice meeting you miss Griffon!”
“Just call me Talihya!” And with that the door to the building closed, I rushed up to my small apartment, practically throwing the bags inside and slamming the door.
“She was….” The lock clicked in place, the chained sliding across the metal latch, and me with my back to the wall slowly falling to the floor, “Exquisite.” The word felt so right for her.
From that day, it wasn’t long until we ran into each other again, this time in the mail room. She was my neighbor across the hall, I just never seen her given our schedules are so different.
I worked at the hospital, strictly on nights, as a nurse attending to the patients in the ICU. I’ve been at the hospital for just a little over 5yrs now, and am getting ready to move up to Senior Nurse, and move to the day shift schedule. It’s a major adjustment for myself since spending the last 5yrs only on night shift.
Talihya worked as a barista at the coffee house next to the hospital in the mornings and was attending night classes at the local college to get her Bachelor’s in business financing. I wouldn’t have guessed any of that, I assumed she was a model for how perfect she looked. And her outfits everyday were wonderfully cute and elegant.
Time flew by and she never left my mind, everyday I would get home right before she left for work, I would get to see her hustle out the door, her hair bouncing ever so slightly as she ran down the stairs and out of view. One day she forgot to lock her door, she was really late that morning.
I wanted to go over and lock her handle at least, but something inside me spoke. _‘Go inside’ _ __ __ She wasn’t coming back right? She left for work, right?
The urge to go in and look at her place ate at me, I wouldn’t sit still until I did.
“No! I can’t! That’s wrong!” Shaking my head at my dirty thoughts. But it was the thought of seeing what kind of panties she wore, if her bras matched, if her sheets smelled like her. I felt myself become aroused at the image of her lying underneath me in a matching babydoll outfit that was peer white, the bow made of satin, the lace shimmering in the low lighting. “She won’t be back until 2pm, I’ll just have a quick peek, and then lock the door for her.”
The hinges on the old wooden door to my apartment squealed loudly, the floor boards beneath creaked with every step I took, as I reached for her handle and opened her door, the bell went off at the top right corner as it always did. My heart settled and my body relaxed for a second.
“Mr. Allenson!” I practically jumped out of my skin as the old lady from upstairs made her way down to our floor, “What on _earth _are you doing going into Ms. Griffon’s unit while she’s away!?” Her question made me feel ashamed of myself, but at the same time felt good for what I was actually doing.
“Good morning, Mrs. Dothman, Talihya was running late and forgot to lock her door this morning, I’m just locking the handle and going to sleep.” I gave a small smile to the small woman that hobbled down the stairs with her cane. The same Mahogany cane that she hit me with my first day moving in, thinking I was stealing from one of the tenants.
“Oh, well that’s rather nice of you, Mr. Allenson.” She corrected her tone speedily, “Since you’re still up, do be so kind and help me down the rest of the stairs.” We lived on the 2nd floor so it wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Of course, Mrs. Dothman.” I assisted her the rest of the way to the ground floor and into a car waiting for her. I returned to my floor, back for Talihya’s unit. The motivation I had to enter was still there, this time I listened closely for any more tenants to emerge, but besides the creaking of the old building and the gentle wind outside, everything was quiet.
The bell sounded again, and then my face was hit with vanilla bean. The warm scent made me push through and close the door behind me. Her unit was the mirrored floor plan to mine. Though she had floor to ceiling bookshelves stacked full of anything that had binding and pages.
“She loved to read.” I say quietly as I spot a bay window sill decked out with cushions and a lamp, a copy of a popular book left open was face down to save her spot. I take mental note of the book to read later.
I continued to wonder around until I found her bedroom, and her dresser. There I found what I had fantasized about. A white babydoll lingerie with shimmering lace and satin ribbon. My hand subconsciously palmed the bulge between my legs. Remembering how soft her skin was, imagining how sweet her moans would sound.
I rummage through her clothes hamper and find the tights she wore that day, pocketing them, and then making my way out of the unit. I checked the peep hole to make sure no one was out in the hall. I was confident enough to open the door, the bell rang as it was opened and closed with the handle now locked.
“Yes, Mrs. Dothman, I’m just dropping by really fast, then I’m heading to class.” That’s Talihya, and she was coming up the stairs. I push into my unit, making sure the door doesn’t slam shut, locking the deadbolt, and not making a sound.
Her heeled boots thud on each step, making her way to her door. Oh how beautiful she looked, the dark colors against her skin made me want to touch her. My bulge throbbed at the thought.
Talihya tries to open her unit, “Huh, I swear I forgot to lock my door this morning. Oh well,”Not thinking much into it, she jaunts back down the stairs and heads to class. It was then that I realized that it was 2:10 in the afternoon, I had stayed up for most of the day, and haven’t slept yet. I had to be back at the hospital by 7pm.
As time passed, my infatuation with Talihya grew more into an obsession. I got risky every time she left her unit, picking the lock, silencing the bell at the top and making my way to her room to fantasize about us together. How she would greet me everyday from coming home, and how her lips would feel as she kissed my cheek goodbye.
“Oh Talihya, how I love you.” I would mumble to myself, mindlessly rearranging her books, leaving her little presents or fluffing her pillows in her reading corner.
About noon every day, I’d leave just as quietly as I came, I still had to sleep some for work that evening. My sleep wasn’t that important but I still had to function like normal to not draw attention to myself.
On my days off, I started following her to the coffee house, and then later to her classes. Making sure she was safe arriving and leaving. It was more dangerous at night for such a beautiful young lady to walk alone at night. It was then that I followed her home. I wanted her to be safe, but I also wanted her to not know that I was me doing all these little things.
A Month Later
Talihya still has no idea that it’s been me. Since the night I followed her home, I have been promoted to Senior Nurse and have been on the day schedule. I no longer follow her around during the day, but now only focus on her at night.
I loved watching her from the fire escape as she slept so comfortably in her feather down comforter and silk sheets. I was happy with how our relationship was. Every night I would touch myself to the scent of her tights, the desire to actually be with her was unbearable. Her smile infectious, and her laugh intoxicating.
“All I want is you, in my arms, forever and always.”
I thought everything was perfect. I thought I was doing everything right. Until _he _showed up. Bryor Jones, her classmate at the college. They became a little too close for my liking. It almost felt like she was cheating.
How dare she do this to us….to me.
She was smiling at someone else. Gave her attention to someone else. Let someone else touch her soft skin, feel her warm lips.
Letting someone else hear her laugh.
Every time Bryor would drop her off, I’d hear them out in the hall. The sound of them kissing goodbye, giggling at one another….it all made my blood boil with jealousy. Knowing I would never have that with her fueled my anger at not only Bryor, but Talihya too.
It was a few weeks after when I had snapped, everything was pretty much a blur. All except the last 10 minutes can I recount what took place in her bed room.
_“Talihya~” I sang her name sweetly. She stirred below me. “My sweet love, Talihya. Good morning, my precious girl.” Though it was only 1:27 in the morning, she woke screaming. That was muffled due to the tape across her mouth. Her eyes darted all over the room, until they landed on Bryor….or what was left of him. _ __ _“Now, Talihya,” I slid the backside of the blade I had used against her cheek, trying to soothe her. “You gave me no other choice, my sweet dear. I had to get rid of him for our sake.” _ __ Talihya’s precious screams silenced, her eyebrows pinching in confusion. She…had….no….idea! __ _“I don’t understand why you would do this to us, we were absolutely perfect the way we were.” I took a breath, thinking about all the times Bryor was over here, making her laugh. It made me angry…beyond angry…I was livid with her!!! I flipped the blade, pressing it into her cheek. And I watched her eyes grow wide with fear. _ __ “Then you went and got Bryor involved, and look what happened to him.” I push her face to see the lifeless stare he had, “HE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU BEING A WHORE!” I screamed in her face. I was losing control again, control of my sense of direction, but the look in her eyes just made more and more pissed off. She looked at me like I was the one that ruined everything. __ “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING WE HAD BY SPREADING YOUR LEGS FOR ANOTHER MAN!!! Now you get DIE LIKE THE SLUT YOU ARE!!” I tore the comforter off her, revealing her naked body. My, my, it was like a work of art….too bad it’ll be ruined with a bunch of stab wounds. Her muffled screams were like a symphony to me. __ _One swing of my arms and that’s when everything went black once more. I came to while in cuffs, the police were holding me down on Talihya’s living room floor, soaked in her’s and Bryor’s blood, mumbling the words ‘I loved you, my sweet Talihya.’ As calm as I could be. _ __ __ Since then, I just stare at myself in a dirty rusted mirror, dressed in a white jumpsuit with a number on the left side breast pocket.
When I look in that mirror, the man that looked back was a shell. A husk of what I use to be. Nothing mattered anymore, not after I murdered sweet Talihya Griffon, the love of my life.
PRESENT
The bar was quiet, dimly lit, and smelled of rich leather and cigarette smoke. The smoker’s section was on the ground floor, but the smoke always wafted back into the upper part. I sat in a leather cushioned seat, a short round table that held a glass of red wine. I was a few seats back from the stage as soft jazz played from a very talented young lady. Saxophone, piano, bass and drums drifted into the open air.
I didn’t really feel like coming out, but I also didn’t feel like staying in either. A friend called me, asked me to meet them at the open top bar and catch up. This bar is well known, and rather extravegant, so I was forced to look the part.
Dressed in a long sleeve black dress with a chain of diamonds sewed through the slit, it was tight fitted and complimented my curves. I wore a waist trainer to make my stomach appear more flat than it was. The dress only went down to the top of my knees, but while sitting it rides up to about half way up my thigh. I fitted this dress with a pair of black velvet stillettos that would make anyone wince just by looking at them.
My hair was curled and flopped about, it’ll eventually annoy me to the point where I put it up in a ponytail with a silk scrunchy. And my makeup was only fitting that of what I was drinking. Smokey pink nude eye shadow with deep red matte lip stick. I knew that I drew attention to myself, I just thought other wise to avoid any incidents from happening. Not with what happened with Jesse.
I shake my head, whipping my hair violently, taking the wine glass and dowing the rest. A rather handsome waiter came by and replaced the empty glass with a new one. I gave him a wink just as the song ended.
“We’ll be taking a short break, make sure you tip your bartenders and the band!” More low and slow music came over the speakers as the beand members deserted the stage.
“The band is good tonight.” A deep voice appeared beside me. A tall man stood to the right of me, dressed in a dark navy suit without a tie. The jacket was open exposing a cream under shirt that was 3 bottoms opened from the top revealing the defined collar bone and a small tattoo.
“I couldn’t agree more.” I take my glass and sip from it.
“May I join you for a bit? I’m waiting on a friend that said they’re running late.” As I set the glass down, the man was already taking the seat on the other side of the table.
“I don’t see why not, I also have a friend running late.” I flag over the handsome waiter who now has a minor annoyed look on his face compared to the smile he gave me earlier.
“You’ve been waiting long?” his voice was warm and smooth like whiskey, the man orders and turns to meet my stare.
“This is my third glass, what do you think?” I wince at the bite in my tone, it wasnt meant for him and he didnt deserve it.
“My you’re fiesty, that or you’re trying to heal a broken heart.” I divert my eyes away from his piercing gaze. “Broken heart it is then, who did it?”
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” I take my glass and rise from the chair, ready to move to a different seat. “It was a pleasure, have a nice night.” My hand is wrapped in a comforting heat, rough calluses press into my fingers.
“Now please, I dont mean any harm, just offering a listening ear.” My eye fixated on his hand and the overwhelming size as my hand is swallowed in his. The warmth soaking into my skin reminds me of the many mornings I spent wrapped in silk and Jesse’s arms. The pecks that trailed my shoulder and back, his hand sliding across my hip and thigh just before we engaged in crazy morning sex.
I always enjoyed our time before the sun rose and just after it set. We spent most of our time away at work, but everything inbetween felt like a bad dream.
I could feel my body tense and then relax as he had coerced me to sit back down. Just before I lowered to the seat, I caught the waiter’s eyes on me, worry etched in his face. I gave him the same kind smile I always did, letting him know that everything is ok. His shoulders ease and returned to his duties. I ease myself into the seat, hand still held by this strange man.
“I guess you could say that…” after another sip of wine, I place it back on the table just as he began to rub his thumb to soothe me more. How could a stranger bring a raging storm to a sudden hault? Just as I felt comfortable, the waiter delivers the man’s drink, and without asking I knew it was top shelf whiskey neat.
“What’s troubling you, dear?” He sips at the glass, taking his hand from mine. Just as I was about to speak up, the low jazz playing faded and movement from the stage caught my attention. The band rejoins, each one going to their respected places, the woman with the sax welcomes everyone back and those just joining, giving them direction to just sit back and enjoy.
“It happened not too long ago.” My eyes focussed on the band as they started playing. I never use to like coming here, but Jesse dragged me here enough times for it to grow on me. The memories at this place were move bad than good, I dont even know why I agreed to meet here.
“Tell me.” Air filled my lungs as I pushed myself to relive the last 3yrs of my life with the person I had thought was the love of my life.
“Well, it all started three winters ago, I had met him at a coffee house while I wrote there.” I down the rest of my wine just in time for my sweet waiter to replace the glass once again. And that’s when I started.
THREE YEARS AGO****
I had a major migraine when I enter the coffee shop, completely drained of caffeine and food. I placed my order and went and sat in the window seat, my normal spot for this coffee shop. The manuscript was due in four days and I hadn’t even reached the halfway point. In no time, my order was brought to me, my eyes focussed on the screen, shooting every couple of words to ensure that i am typing the right words.
The coffee was sweet like a cinnamon roll, but i could still taste the warm bitterness of the espresso. I had lost track of time as i sat there, putting away hundreds of words. It was when the sun was at the highest point in te sky that I stretched backwards in my chair. I felt someone right behind me, and then with a huge clang of chairs, the room fell silent.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” I raced to help him up. He was tall, fit, and had messy brown hair. “Are you ok?”
“I’ll live, my coffee on the other hand,” I look to the ground and see a broken cappuchino cup and golden liquid strewed across the floor. “Not so much.”
“Oh Lord, let me buy you a new one, and pay for the cup too.” Staff came over wth a broom and mop. The man stood well above me in my flat coverse, maybe a littleover six-foot, his eyes locked with mine. They were a light brown like the coffee in my cup, but there was this shine in them…something tranquil. And then he smiled.
“Don’t worry about my coffee, but let me treat you.” His eyes wonder over my features, taking every exhausted wrinkle etched in my face like stone. Then suddenly, the room became brighter, colors appeared more vibrant. And the air around me became cleaner to breathe, his scent was subtle and warm.
“No, no, I insist. I’ve already had four cold brews all with 2 extra shots.” We laugh, his a mid range pitch, it made my heart flutter slightly.
We make our way over to the counter and make an order, where I pay for the broken cup and another coffee for the man I knocked over. I invited him to sit with me, I could’ve used the break from my writing and refresh my brain. We sat laughing and enjoying the comapny of a stranger, letting the stress of our everyday lives roll off our shoulders. It was like the cover has been removed, one that weighed me down for the longest time.
“Who are you?” The sun has set, the sky now a pallet of pinks and dark blue with stars filing into place. I had packed up my laptop and now stood next to the busy street with the gentleman whom I failed to get his name a few hours earlier.
“I’m Jesse Delaney.”
“Really?” I playfully question him, his eye brows shoot up.
“Wow! Do I not look like a ‘Jesse’?” He laughs at the thought.
“No, I just didn’t expect it. You look more like an Auston.” Our laughs bleed together, the infectious sounds making others smile as they walk past us.
“And your name my dear?” My cheeks flush a baby pink.
“You’re gonna laugh,” A nervous giggle escapes my lips as I turned away. His hand stopped me, turning me back to meet his stare.
“Tell me, love.” My heart warmed at how he looked at me, spoke to me, urging me to tell him.
“Aquila Ives is who I am.” His hand cupping my cheek heating the skin.
“Such a beautiful name, is it from the constellation?”
“The Eagle that retrieves Zeus’s thunderbolts. Not a lot of people know that.” he kind smile as my ride pulled up. We exchanged numbers, and it wasnt a second more after I left the sidewalk that my phone went off. From that day on I knew everytime my phone lit up it was him.
After a year, we moved in together to a rather large aparment. It had enough space for both of us and our work, mine mostly due to the manuscripts. But it felt like I was living in a dream, that my life somehow turned into one of those you would see on social media. Everything was more vibrant, my body felt like it was floating. I was in love. With my life, with myself, with everything. But I was naive.
After Valentine’s Day of the second year was when Jesse started to act different. He appeared more distant from me and what was going on at home. Spending more at work, with his friends, if he was at home his face would be glued to his phone. I knew what was going on, I just needed to confirm it.
It wouldnt be until our third year that I couldn’t take it anymore. I loved Jesse, but i hated that i was living in a completely one sided relationship. I had my friends follow him around during the day while I stayed at home getting my work done. But i couldnt stay focussed, my nerves were all over the place, waiting for the phone call from Georgia to tell me what they found out. It was a few hours into the afternoon when a text from Jesse came through.
**Jesse: **Staying late again, all of Jeffery’s reports need to be redone. __ I didn’t bother replying, but instead sending a screenshot to Georgia. It wasn’t much longer after that my phone started buzzing. It was the call that I was worried about. Hesitantly, I answered and the line was quiet. Every thought ran across my mind, good and bad, of what Jesse was up to. But I could almost feel heartbreak as I kept thinking that he was cheating on me.
“Aquila….I’m sorry.” Georgia’s southern accent came through the phone soft, carefully talking to me even though i knew the truth.
“Who is he with?” I had no thoughts, my concious started dissociating from reality. There were a handful of woman that came to mind, but I knew Jesse could get any girl he wanted.
“It’s…Aquila, it’s your sister, Andromeda.” Any woman is what he could get. His secretary, a co-worker, a stranger from a bar. But it felt like I was body slammed by a bus when Georgia said my twin sister’s name.
“Come over, I have some packing to do.” Without another word, the line went dead. I knew she was going to be here in ten minutes, and during that time I cried. My life for the last three years just came to an earth shattering hault. I walked over to the picture that hung on the wall of Jesse and I, we went to the Bahamas…..I remember being happy. But it was shortly after we got back did he start becoming distant. In the reflection of the glass, my eyes were pouring with tears, the light has been gone for quite a long while now.
I stood there staring at the picture frame, tears streaming down my face staining my skin. I don’t know when it happened, but my broken heart turned into anger. In a split second I ripped the frame from the wall and demolished it. Taking a shard of glass in my hand and stabbing the picture, screaming incoherently.
“Aqu…ila...” Her voice was distant, “Aquila!” My arms stopped mid swing, shaking violently. Georgia’s sweet honey scent engulfed me, I just wailed, dropping the glass shard and letting my body go limp in her embrace. “I’m so sorry.” She soothes me. She picked me up, taking me to the bathroom to bandage my hands, telling me that I can stay at her place until I feel better.
PRESENT
“It took me another month after finding out about him cheating on me to get the rest of my things. I had to have police there to make sure I grabbed all my things and he didn’t try anything.” I sipped my wine, now on my fourth and starting to feel tipsy. This strange man still had my hand wrapped in his, the light rubbing of his thumb kept my mind calm as I told my sad story. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. I remember how in love I was with Jesse, that’s what hurt me so bad.
“He seriously messed up with such a gorgeous woman.” His tone low, I knew he was staring at me, but my stare was fixated on the band as they played.
“Makes sense since someone else shares my face.” My tone bitter when thinking of my sister.
“I think you’re gorgeous inside and out. Your sister, and I mean this respectfully, sounds like a stuck up bitch.” I give a laugh, he joins in by adding a low breathy laugh.
“She really is.” we each take a sip of our drinks, enjoying the company and the music as the sax did a solo. “I don’t think you’ve mentioned your name.”
“Why ruin something so nice with a silly name?” We locked eyes, the dim lighting made his appear dark, but I could sense a warm light deep inside.
“Because I would like to know the man who holds my hand so sweetly.” Something told me not to read into what’s going on between us, that this was just a friendly gesture.
“Touché.” His gives another raspy laugh, “It’s Jupiter.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Jupiter.” With my drink raised, “I’m Aquila.”
They were my saviors, and they promised to keep me safe.
Forever.
If only that were true. It was months later, everything appeared to be peaceful around the house, in our little world. Until the day I got a unknown number calling. I made a vow to never answer any unknown calls ever again, so I ignored it and got back to work. It was that evening, right before the guys returned home, there was a knock at the door but know one was there. But in the screen door was an envelope addressed to my old name.
Memories of my old life came back to me like a terrible movie. With the envelope in hand, I retreat back inside and head to the study immediately. Fear and anger mix together, tremors course through my body. I held it up to the light to see what could be in it, and the only light I saw was on either side, something filled the center. I wanted to rip it up and not think anything of it, but whatever was in here, it came from my past.
Everything stopped, time, my breath trapped in my lungs as I stared at a photo of me and one of the guys….naked. It was Zeth and I were having a moment together back in the wooded area behind the house, covered by thick brush and shade. The memory was fresh in my mind, we were hiding from Andrew who was in one of his moods, and was making everyone do the most ridiculous chores. Zeth and I didn’t intend to hide together, it just happened. And then our moment of weakness happened. But who was out in those woods that would take a picture of us and then delievery it to me, and under my old name!
The photo was of Zeth and I, but it had a large red X over Zeth’s body, and his face was marked out. The pen marks looked aggresive, the imprint of the froce applied to it was embossed. Whoever is watching me isn’t happy about my association to the men that saved my life from the coterie. I can barely sleep through the night as is. The memories were still fresh, tormenting me as they lingered right behind my eye lids. Feeling cold clammy hands all over my body that made bile creep up the back of my throat, it burned and makes it hard to swallow.
The sound of the front door shutting and heavy footsteps bring me back from the dark place in my mind. I could feel tears fall from my eyes freely as Andrew and Fredric walk into the study to see me. My body trembles uncontrolably and it was Andrew that closed the distatnce between us in seconds. Wrapping his arms around my small frame in an attempt to stop me from shaking. It was then that I knew my nightmare wasn’t over yet, that there were people coming after me, and they didn’t care who I on my side.
“You will never leave our sides ever again, Destiny” Andrew whispered to me, his sight dead set on the image of me and Zeth. “I will make sure of it, if that means more blood on my hands then so be it.” He was true to his word whenever it came to me. He has dropped more bodies than the rest of his brothers. He was an animal born man, made for protecting those he loved and trusted.
The day started like any other, I remember having the day off from work. It was finally starting to feel like summer as the days grew hot and a bit muggy from the rain we’ve recieved over the last few days. I woke alone in the little two bedroom apartment I shared with my boyfriend. He must have already left for work, I hadn’t even looked at the time until entering the livingroom and the clock on the stove read just after ten in the morning.
I moved to the bathroom sluggishly, but it was when I get to the sink that a tiny voice whispered to me, take a test, I had no expectation for a certain outcome. But I listened to that voice, pulled a long blue plastic packaged out from under the sink and unwrapped the white stick. The last one I took said negative, so I start setting myself up mentally for the same result. After relieving myself, I put the cap back on and put it face down on the counter, and leave to get ready for the day.
When I came back a few minutes later, I was hesitant to even touch it, but I knew that if I didn’t look I wouldn’t get a definitive answer. My body tensed as I flipped over the stick, my heart nearly stopped, a certain warmth washed over me. Images of my boyfriend and I together flashed rapidly in my head, every happy smile and contagious laugh. All of our friends around us, our families coming together to create new memories. That’s when I felt the tears coming, overwhelming happiness flooded my heart, ready to spill all over the floor and fill the apartment.
The test was positive.
The rest of the day was spent trying to contian the excitment, and even plan on how I was going to tell him. I had messaged a mutual friend of ours about the test, she was excited and kept it a secret until I decided to tell him. I planned on waiting until I was farther along to ensure that I was going to be able to make it through the first trimester. But one day, he brought up how he always wanted a family, talking about the amount of kids he wants and the size of house we would need. I texted my friend that I was going to tell him the next day after he came home from work, how I was going to do it, I had no clue.
The next evening came, and I had decided to put the stick in a stuffed animal, and tell him to hug it. He was confused but did so anyway, when he felt it, pulled it out, he froze at the sight of the screen. He kept asking me if it was mine, and that it was real and not a joke. I told him through my laughs that he was going to be a dad, and he erupted with excitment, picking me up and holding me tight. He insited that we go tell our friends that we were expecting. We told all of the friends and then moved on to tell his parents. His mom cried, and his dad was proud, but it felt like a fleeting moment as they left immediately after the news.
It was when we left town to go tell my family the news that was hard. My mom worked in a different part of the state, but we had gotten there around the time that she would be awake and getting ready for work where ever she was staying at. My sister was there too with a few of her friends over, which was fine.
“Are you on the phone with mom?” I took a seat on the couch, my boyfriend sitting next to me with his hand on my leg.
“Yeah, why?” Her attitude was always sour whenever she talked to mom.
“Put her on speaker, I have something I want to tell both of you.” I could feel my body get tense with anxiety. Up until this point everyone was happy and excited for us, and I would be lying if I said that I was expecting the same from two of the most important people in my life.
“Hey, mom I’m putting you on speaker.” She hit the button and my mom’s voice was loud when she asks what’s going on.
“Well…to get straight to it,’ I grabbed his hand for reassurance, “I’m pregnant.” I had this nervous grin as my sister and mom fell silent. All I could hear were all of our heart beats as they pounded in our chests.
“You’re pregnant?” My mom started, shattering the quiet air.
“Yes, we are expecting.” I willed myself to sound excited. But it all came crashing down, hard and fast.
“What were you thinking?!”
“Do you have any idea what it takes to take care of a child?!”
“You two haven’t even been together for that long!”
“Are you prepared for a giant needle that can potentially paralyze you?”
“You got my daughter pregnant, are you ready to become a father?!”
After several mintues of being degraded for this news by my own family, my voice cracks up, “Are you not excited for us?”
“Excited?! Why would I excited for you to have a baby with someone you barely know? Let alone being at 20 years old!” I could feel my heart break with every word as my mom sounded furious with me. My sister was the same, talking about all of the things that comes with having a baby and that I need to start growing up if I want to keep it. I was in tears when they finally stopped.
“Listen, we’re not trying to scare you,"
“THEN WHY WOULD SAY ALL THAT STUFF?” I blubbered, “WHY WOULD YOU SAY ANY OF IT AND NOT THAT YOURE HAPPY!?” They both were quiet. Not a single thing to say in how emotionally distraught I had become over their realistic point of view. I just wanted them to say they were happy, or that they were excited to become and Aunt and Grandmother. My chest ached from the pain from the harsh words and tones in their voices. “You two have made me terrified to have a baby, the thought of it makes me wish I never got pregnant to begin with!” I knew I didn’t mean that, and so did my boyfriend, I was jsut heartbroken at my sister and mom for reacting the way they did. Even when everyone else was happy for us.
“Come on, love, lets go back home.”
“Be lucky if I even include in my baby’s life after all this.” I mumbled under my breath.
“What did you say?” My sister’s nagging voice was viral to my eardrums, wincing at every word.
“Nothing.” we truned to leave the house, “I said nothing.”
We got back home around sunset, I took a shower to clear my head, but the pain was just too much. I couldn’t contain my tears as my heart broke over and over again as the memory replayed on loop. My dad wasn’t even upset about it, he was excited to become a Grandfather, and then the same with my stepmom.
But my mom and sister have always been by my side. They have always been there for me when ever I needed them. But after what happened that day, I developed a new opinion about them.
THEY WOULD NEVER BE HAPPY FOR ME EXPANDING MY OWN FAMILY.
A couple weeks would pass, not a word was talked to my sister or mom. They kept calling, texting, even trying to get my dad to relay messages to me. I wasn’t having any of it. I told my stepmom about the event, and she told me that they would come around and accpet that the youngest was growing up so fast, and that I shouldn’t hold they’re reponse against them. I didn’t know how to feel, with this or the fact that a mutual friend of ours was having issues of his own and came to me trying to convice me to be on his side.
I was exactly two months when everything happen. I was at work, and our friend had stopped in to complain about something that his baby momma had done. I texted my manager if he could send the cop that stopped by every night back to where I was because of how stressed out I felt. I knew that it wasn’t right for him to be coming to me with his life problems, and that it wasn’t good for my baby either. The officer came and told him to stop bothering me. Some statements were shared and the cop made sure I was ok before leaving, telling me to call him if I have anymore issues with the friend.
It was about an hour after he left that I started to feel this sharp pain in my hips. It was mild at first but became intense as time moved on. I called my boyfriend to tell him something was wrong and that I needed to go to the hospital. He rushed over, told my manager to shove it, that he’s taking me to the E.R. It would be another two and half hours before they told me the news. It was cold, no empathy behind the tone, and no sadness for us.
I had miscarried.
“Your words wound me deeply,” My voice cracked with each word. “But your silence hurts even more.” My mother did nothing, said nothing, to defend herself. She had planned and executed everything with help from her new husband. My throat sore from screaming and crying, begging for my own mother not to do this, but she didn’t give any hint of an attempt to stop all of this.
“The contract has been officially transfered, ma’am.” A man in a black suit gestured to a paper in his hand to my mother.
No, she isn’t that to me.
Not anymore. She is monster.
“Thank you, now my life is in my own.” She turns away from me without a second look. “As it should have been since the beginning.”
The men that held me down, hands tied behind my back, lifted me to my feet and forced me to the back of a van. I still fought them, even when I thought there was no more fight left in me. All I had was myself now, everyone else betrayed me.
“LET GO OF ME!” I screetched into one of man’s ears.
“Shut the fuck up!” my mouth was taped shut, but my screams were just as loud. “She’s a fighter, but looks like she’ll make a great plaything.” they all erupted in heinous laughter as I’m tossed into the van, the doors slamming shut behind me. I struggled to get to my knees, throwing my body against the doors.
I was about to start bashing my head against the glass when large gloved hands pushed me into, pinning me. Every ounce of me burned with rage and fight as I kicked my feet out, my jeans pulling taut with every one that missed my attacker.
“Stay still, or else I’ll ruin this perfect fucking cunt of your’s, making you useless before we event reach the compund.” His hot rancid breath made me dry heave. “But nothing is stopping me from feeling up this tight little body you have.” He snarled, sliding a hand down my back and groping my behind roughly. I was going to sick, absolute disgust filled me with every touch he did.
“Hey! Don’t ruin the product! You’ll have to pay for her if you want to do that!” A man from the front seat shouted back at my attacker. His hand stopped, removing himself from me entirely, he made his way to the front.
“The fuck you just say to me?!” My attacker was pissed.
“Do you have 4.5 billion dollars?” His was calm but threatening to the other. The silence turned the air cold as the van drove away from the city and into the mountains. Where was this compound that they mentioned? How far away were they taking me?
Why doesn’t matter how far I was going? I didnt have anywhere to go. Didn’t have anyone to run to, no one to take me in. I was utterly alone.
My mind began to dissociate, tethering off from the world I was thrown into. I didn’t care what was going to happen to me, my fight finally empty.
I give up.
“Leave!”
A manila evelope was open, pictures spews from the opening.
“Quinn, its not what you think!”
“I don’t….care,” the room was ice cold, a counter seperating us. “It’s clear, here, IN THESE PHOTOS OF YOU AND MY BROTHER!”
I flung the pictures at her, making her flinch. I wanted to see the hurt, the regret in her eyes, but the only thing she showed me was relief. I knew something was going on, just not to this extent.
“I’m sorry”
“You’re? Sorry?” I couldn’t stand to look at her. “I don’t understond why you would do this.”
Silence.
“How long?”
“Quinn—“
“HOW LONG!” Tears threatened at the lid of my eyes, “Afton…how long have you two been involved?”
She didn’t even flinch, the room echoed our misaligned heartbeats. It felt like the world was about to fall out beneath us.
“two…”
“What!?”
“TWO YEARS! Ok?” She dragged her hands through her hair, “I’ve been seeing Orion for two years.”
She died at a young age, lived on by her killer.
Now, she can be seen sitting at her tomb, weeping at her demise, at how her tormentor gets to live on.
Many have heard her wails, how they ring across the woods hidden in the fog.
She cries alone have brought first responders out by passerby’s calls, worried about a woman being attacked.
But no one is there, no one to see, no one to talk.
She was there, waiting for him to appear at her grave, to remember what he did to her.
And he did, he returned to the grave of his victim, the life he snuffed out.
Her cries came, ear peircing screams as she appeared before him, dressed in green.
“You did this to me, and for that your fate shall be the same!” She invokes her righetous fury.
The vineyard was large, lanes just wide enough to have trucks pass through picking up the baskets. The once lush vines now bare and stiff as the cold november air drifts through each row. I was sent here under the request of my superior, sending me the location and instructed to be here before sunset. The case had gone cold 3 months ago, and our crime scene was contaminated thanks to harvest sesaon.
Annabelle Karlson, age 15, white female, murdered. Her body was found in a corn field 3 miles from town. She was discovered by the Farmer’s daughter and her boyfirend trying to find a place to fool around in; damn kids. Annabelle was identified by Sophie Randall, Austin Randall’s daughter, and called the police. This all happened six months ago, every lead we had turned up either a wild goose chase or a dead end. But never had I thought to ask the owner of the vineyard; it’s located 10miles away from where Annabelle was discovered. The property alone would have to be searched by the combined man power of 3 towns.
I pulled into the dirt lot, climbed out of the beat up sedan issued by the state. The soud of the car door shutting echoed against the wind, the crunching of every step vibrated my ear drums. The stagnant quiet sent violent shivers down my spine. The place looked abandoned outside of harvest season, everything dismally dark as the end of fall approached, winter would be here in a couple of weeks. Then everything would be covered in a light dusting of snow.
“Hello? Mr. Lubov?” I call out. “Mr. Lubov?” I might as well have been whispering for I never got response. The building north of me was dark, the front door was locked tight with a pad lock the size of my hand. That’s a bit excessive. As I approached the door, in the corner of a front window the curtains had moved. The jossled fabric tore my attention away from everything. I tracted my way around to the back of the building to see the door cracked open. Something told me to go look, to open the door. The wind picked up and made the door fly open, slamming against the adjacent wall and sticking there. The dark void that filled the house gave an erie growl. The low tone felt like thunder rumbling in my chest. I take a few steps forward, inching my way towards the entrance. I reached the threshold, the hairs raised on the back of my neck as the low throaty growl rushed my head. I was about to cross the frame.
“Can I help you?” I jumped back, drawing my gun and swinging it directly behind me. And there stood a man with striking features. His eyes were a piercing blue and shot right through me. His long black hair tied into a loose braid lay over his broad shoulder. My eyes wondered all over his face, admiring the structure of his jaw line and strong nose. He clears his throat, pulling me from my trance. “If you are quite finsihed gawking, please explain who you are.” His voice was deep with a harsh annoyed tone to my sudden shock at how handsome he was.
“Uh..oh right, I’m,” I fumble putting my gun away and getting my badge. This man had me all sorts of flustered, get a hold of yourself! “Detective Persy Styx, with MCPD. I was told to meet with Mr. Lubov, the owner of the vineyard.” My heart hammered in my chest as he took a step closer to me, my feet unwanting to move.
“Well, Detective, I am Declan Lubov, owner of this dead vineyard.” His words were like silk as they rolled out past his hard lips. The scruff growing around them and up his jaw looked to be about 3weeks thick, he must’ve shaved back in October. “I’m to assume Captain Fareway sent you regarding that poor farm girl that died back in May.”
“So you’ve been informed of my coming, good then that makes things easier.” Talking to him is the hard part, every thought I have is just wanting to land my lips on his. He takes another step towards me. My heart pounded so hard that it could burst out of my chest.
“I have offered my assistance in the past with cases like these, so yes. Shall we head inside? It is dreadfully cold out here.” He continues on past me, his collagne invaded my senses. He smelled of cedar and honey. I subconciously wondered after him like a thirsty school girl.
Once inside the building, the over head light came on in a warm glow illuminating an open space. The low growl I heard earlier came from the far opposite corner of the room. A black and gold phonograph stood there with a record spinning on it. The needle was right at the end of the record. Declan moved behind me to dislodge the door from the magnetic lock, closing the door.
“This way, Detective.” He gestured for me to move to a sitting room at the far end of the long hall. It was welcoming with soft cushioned chairs and love seats and a small glass coffee table at the center. He moved like flowing water and somehow made the room glow despite the overcast gray seeping through the translucent curtains. Declan takes the loveseat, and I in the adjacent chair, sinking deep into the cushion.
“Mr. Lubov,” I started
“Please, Detective, call me Declan.” His voice was soft, but stern with his request.
“Of course, Declan.” Adjusting in the overly soft seat, “Captian Fareway didn’t tell me anything besides to meet with you.” From the hallway, a figure emerges holding a silver tray. I jumped at the sight of a small woman carrying in glasses and a long neck bottle of red wine. The lable was in italian but at the bottom read Sweet Italian Wine.
“Fareway sent me the case file and I had noticed that a very important detail was over looked.” The woman placed the tray on the table and poured the wine to about halway in the glasses. “Thank you, Violet. Detective?”
“Oh, no thanks, I’m more of a moscato drinker.”
“Humor me please.” Delcan persisted, giving me a dashing smile. His teeth are perfect and white, and the final blow to make me reach for the glass. “The girl…Annamay?”
“Annabelle.”
“Ah, yes. She was giving us a helping hand here the day she was killed. The detail that was overlooked is a time frame.” He picks his glass up and takes a sip, I do the same.
“What was she doing here?” The wine was sweet, reminding me of the grape juice i would drink as a kid, just with the warm rush of alcohol to follow behind very mildly.
“From 3pm to 8pm, Annabelle would come in and help pick weeds, spray the vines with vitamins, and then help clean up the property. Once in a while she would come help Violet with the house.”
“Annabelle would get done with school around 2:45pm, and this is a 15min drive from the school.” I take another sip of the wine, it was quite delicious. I really wasn’t much of a red wine drinker, I could never stand bitter things, so I stuck to the moscatos, or fruit wines. “Did she ever say anything about her life at home? Being gone for 5hrs everyday would’ve made any parent worried.”
“She never really talked about herself all that much, just the occasional story here and there.” Declan reaches up to sweep a stray lock of hair behind his ear, “There was one time she came in looking distraught. I found her in the barn crying. Thats when she told me what was happening at home.” Declan goes on to tell me the most horrific story I’ve ever heard.
“Annabelle has been getting molested and raped by not only her father, but by _most _of the men that entered that house?”
“Since she was 6yrs old, and that day she told me, she found out that she was pregnant with one of six men’s child. She didn’t know who the father was.” Regardless of which man did it, it still counts as incest, and each one of those six men are look at 15yrs minimum if the story checks out.
“Did she tell you all who was involved?” I had disregarded my note pad and just stuck my recorded on the table next to the tray.
“Her father, Fredric. Her brother, Justin. The Brother in law, Michael. And Kathy’s three brothers, Henry, Adam, and Dan Hardwick.” My partner, Kasin Rodgers, had interviewed the father, brother, and uncle, the other 3 had alibis for the night of her death.
“Do you know if she mentioned the pregnancy to anyone else?”
“After she left that day, she hardly came in for the week. Each time I would see Annabelle, she was bundled up like it was -12º outside.” Declan stood with grace, his hands held behind him as he made way for the window. “I hope she gets justice.”
“I’ll deliver it on a silver platter, i can guarantee that.” I struggled to rise out of the chair, the damn thing was trying to swallow me whole if i hadnt of moved sooner. As I rose, my head became extremely light. The room turning dark and hazey. “What’s happening?” My speech slurred out of me. I hadn’t even had a glass of wine, but I felt sloshed as the room began to spin. Heat rushed my body, my legs grew weak.
“Oh, right. Detective Styx, would mind staying for a bit, I’d like to…talk a…bit more…about……” His words trailed off as my body became heavy. I fell hard to the worn wooden floors. My head turned towards Declan, and the last sight before me was his devlish grin.
Then there was nothing. The heaviness engulfed me, darkness clouded my mind. I was going to die.
